route_1065 | i'm the fear that keeps you awake, i'm the shadows on the wall

Entry tags:

malik ishtar | yu-gi-oh!

i'm the fear that keeps you awake, i'm the shadows on the wall

Who: Malik & Bakura
Where: Goldenrod City, Card Game Central
When: Today, middle of the night
Summary: In Yugioh, being possessed by evil really just gives you a bad case of bedhead. Malik and Bakura find this out the awkward way.
Rating: A for Angst
Log:

He had to do something about this accursed darkness.

Malik'd tolerated it in HQ as best he could; he had a reputation to establish, after all, and no guarantee his sleeping quarters weren't monitored. It wouldn't do to have the Team's rising-star pupil (how could he be anything else, with his experience?) be observed tossing and turning, driven out of his mind every night when all the thoughts he hadn't been focusing on came crowding back. The frustration, in spite of himself, of this ridiculous little detour - the impatience of working with untrained followers, just when he could practically taste victory at last--

The fears every night brought all on their own, which even after five years he hadn't managed to squash. He hadn't permitted himself. Forgetting the fear meant forgetting what his family had suffered. And forgetting those crimes would betray his duty. Yet in the meantime, the fear trapped him - no, the Pharaoh had trapped him, Malik had no choice but to lie awake every night, suffocating....

Still, insomnia would only hinder his revenge, particularly during this challenging new stage of the game. He'd get a glass of water, probably splash it on his face, head back to his room and be done with this idiocy, Malik vowed. Never mind that what little sleep he'd gotten had been fraught with nightmares, and every shadow on the wall looked like an enemy without Rishid's reassuring presence fighting them off. Without his own "shadow", nothing held the others at bay.

But he was calm. He was in control. Running a hand through his hair, Malik sighed and dragged himself towards the hallway. Nightmares were nothing. A product of the great sin he'd soon avenge. Nothing he couldn't overcome. Even if the slightest noise could make him twitch.

Caution was only prudent, sharing quarters with the enemy.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Bakura was no stranger to insomnia, though normally the presence of close friends along side him was enough to push aware the nightmares that always lurked in his subconscious and would allow him a deeper, more dreamless sleep.

But something was different. Even with Yuugi there, fragments of half remembered nightmares lurked around the edges of sleep, leaving him wide eyed and awake from dreams he couldn't recall.

There was something...

He had padded down to the kitchen, not turning on the lights as to not disturb his sleeping housemates, both human and pokemon. The dark never bothered him, not when it was true darkness and not the sort of darkness that came with danger, and his eyes easily adjusted to the ambient light from the moon and lights of Goldenrod city outside the windows. As quietly as he could, he put the kettle on for tea, letting it seep before he sat at the kitchen table, the eddies of steam casting gentle shadows that were almost invisible as he breathed in the comforting smell, hands wrapped around the all too cheerful poke-themed mug.

Utterly unaware that anyone else was awake in the house and heading for the kitchen as well.

Malik made it to the kitchen without incident (though why would anything occur? he reminded himself), wandering towards the sink - but a figure seated at the table made him freeze in his tracks. One hand went behind his back, searching for the Rod, before Malik caught himself: no, though old habits died hard, he hadn't been granted the convenience of his Item here.

Yet he'd never gotten evidence whether others had proved more fortunate. And in the dim light, it was difficult to say. Though, if he had to guess - which for the moment seemed like his only option -

One Bakura might only be active in the dark.

"So," he remarked, his voice much lower than he'd ever pitched it around normal Bakura. "A 'convenient hiding place', indeed."

Bakura blinked a few times. Malik's voice didn't normally sound like that... did it? Then why was it more familiar than...

His left hand twitched slightly and he shifted the fingers of his right to cover the faded scar over it on reflex. "I'm not hiding..." he pointed out, voice a little scratchy from the night air. Too soon to sip the tea still steaming between his palms to fix that.

Malik chuckled, still uneasy. The usual Bakura? Or - the other, pretending, seeking to trip him up. Testing him. If he couldn't be certain, at least one error could be salvaged more easily than the other.

"Of course you're not," he pointed out. "You just happen to prefer the darkness. Well, I hate it. Play by my rules for a while, won't you? If we're going to get along..."

This was the point at which, in Malik's perfect world, he'd flip on the lightswitch and gloat triumphantly down at his uneasy ally. But this wasn't Malik's perfect world: when threw his hand out, he touched nothing but wall.

A pity he was still getting used to this house.

Obligingly, Bakura pulled out his gear, flipping it open to let the glow of the screen illuminate his face, the dim glow seeming as if it were bright enough for him, even though it only cast a pale shadow of light that illuminated his mussed hair in just the right way to continue to add to the illusion he was unaware that he was casting. "Is that better?"

Malik frowned. "Enough," he admitted, slowly making his way towards the sink (that, at least, he could manage.) This situation still didn't add up. Bakura'd kept the Ring? But then - why had the Rod been taken from him? Was it actually here, in the hands of his Rocket "superiors"? Something here was all wrong.

"Well?" he asked, being careful not to turn his back on his conversational partner while filling himself a glass of water. "This is how you spend your time? I'm in the house for days and find you relaxing after all good little hosts have gone to bed."

He sipped his water. "Much obliged about the landlord, by the way," he added. "Literally...."

Bakura froze, eyes widening as his left hand twitched once more, near violently this time as the word-- title set the feeling of wrongness in it's proper context.

Malik know the Ring's voice. Thought he was speaking to the Ring's voice right then....

For a moment, he didn't know what to do. Why would-- but Malik was his friend...! He had...

"What else would I be doing?" he finally asked, keeping his voice even and bored sounding. He'd play along, giving answers that could be either misunderstandings if Malik realized he wasn't the Ring's voice...

Shrugging, Malik leaned against the sink and crossed his arms, squinting at Bakura to try and catch any potential glimpses of a Millennium Item. The spirit excelled at hiding itself, but even so...

And that pause. Had he miscalculated? The Ring hadn't seemed to consider what its host body knew of much importance - Malik himself hadn't given the boy's mind more than a cursory glance, in a hurry to cement his control before the primary tenant caught on to his scheme. How aware was the boy of the spirit in his mind?

"You tell me," he replied, taking another sip; why had his throat gone dry? He advanced slowly towards the table. "We're hardly close."

Bakura's mind was running at a feverish pace, trying to decide his next course of action, the next thing to say. So often the Ring played the part of the host, but it had never been the reverse before. A new alliance... Battle City, it had to be during that, if Malik had been the one to save him then..

....

"And there's nothing here that would benefit either of us." It was too easy to make himself sound disappointed, annoyed, irritated.

Betrayed.

That did it. He couldn't let this continue without proof, one way or another. Malik Ishtar's plans left no room for what-ifs.

Bypassing the table, Malik headed back for the wall to try his luck with the lightswitch again. If he had to backpedal now....

He hadn't been thinking straight when thrown into this situation. He'd been distracted by the darkness, by the thoughts overriding his considerable self-discipline. The Pharaoh's fault, all of it.

Even this.

"If you insist," he remarked nonchalantly, flipping on the lights and turning around. All right, you.

Though if the host was capable of deception himself, then Malik'd been handed misinformation. In a way it'd be fortunate he'd learned here.

Bakura, half asleep, hair abused by pokemon, expression cross, looked unnervingly similar to his counter part, mostly due to how rare Bakura ever looked cross. He said nothing, just watching Malik,

Even if there were many things that Bakura was not good at, he was good at games. In Johto, he had gotten very swiftly far better at chess due to an unnaturally good friend and opponent who had taught him quite a few things in both games and things not always being as seemed. The king of the fae. The illusion of what was needed at that moment to be what was expected... Situations he had never been in in Domino that in Johto had resulted in a slightly different Bakura Ryou than Malik had been in the mind of.

He would hold his action until Malik had made his move. Then he would decide his.

Malik studied the other boy's face, then - his own softened. Damn it. Let the Spirit gloat if it was tricking him, he could win that allegiance back. The Ring Spirit would listen to results. But if he didn't change his tune now, a normal Bakura might never listen to him again.

"...Bakura...?" he asked, not bothering to hide the quiver in his voice. "Oh no. I am so - You-"

He moved towards the table again, this time reaching for a chair to collapse into. "I'm so glad it's actually you," he exhaled, while hoping against hope it, well. Was.

Bakura was silent a long moment. "...I don't want to play this game with you, Malik." The dropping of the -kun was intentional. Partly a test, partly...

If Malik had deceived him... If Malik had been working with the Ring all along, if Malik was that second voice that had been in his head...

Malik hung his head. "Discouraged" was something he didn't even have to fake at the moment.

"I don't want to either," he admitted simply, pushing his glass of water away from himself despite desperately needing it. If he pulled this off....

Well, if he didn't, he'd adapt. But if he managed this, there wasn't anything he couldn't do. Even without the Rod.

"I should have told you sooner," he added, the frustration in his voice sincere. "About what happened after I found you hurt."

Bakura blinked a few times, fingers uneasily toying with the mug under them. "...what about it...?" he asked, voice a touch wary.

"That I met....well, you know." Malik shrugged. "It was his fault you got hurt, far as I could tell. I didn't understand what was going on at first....how could I? But then--"

He swallowed. "My sister's the head of the antiquities division in Egypt," he admitted. "I was only in Domino in the first place because she'd held an exhibit. So when I saw what you were wearing - I understood."

Once both of them were back where they belonged he could erase all this from the boy's memories. He could be plain, unremarkable Namu again. But for now, as "Malik" - particularly without knowing how much Yuugi knew - he needed a more dramatic explanation.

"I reasoned with him, since I had information he didn't," he said through clenched teeth. "But what could I do? I thought he was going to let you die!"

There was a growing uneasy feeling. It...it didn't feel right. The Ring killing him was the last worry in his mind. The Ring needed him, needed him to be the host... That was why there had been the deal. Why he had put the Ring back on to save everyone...

No. No this wasn't right... something was...

"What was he doing....? When you met him...."

"Putting on that Duel Disk." Malik clenched his teeth. "Gloating over how he'd taken it from someone....I didn't see how your arm got hurt."

Crossing his own arms, he buried his head on the table. "Are you going to kick me out of your house?" he asked miserably. "You have every right to. I should have taken that thing off of you, even with the risks. And I should have warned your friends, but I didn't know if they knew..."

There was a very long pause as Bakura debated. "He wouldn't have let you, you know," he finally said, voice soft and quiet. "What was his bargain?" What was the Ring after this time...?

"There's some - texts - about some prophecy he needed translations for." Malik lifted his face to rub at his eyes. "I can read them. So I convinced him to keep me around, or at least alive. Don't know if he believed I had no intention of resisting."

How about that, he couldn't help but note. Something the host and parasite might have in common, now - no, the moment he started doubting himself was the moment he might as well prostrate himself at the Pharaoh's oppressive feet and have done with it.

He fiddled with his glass. "I'd hoped none of that would follow us here," he said. "It'd be nice to just have friends. But wishing something like that's wrong, isn't it? Things are how they are. And I made a deal with that thing, then hid it."

Bakura nodded slightly. "I did the same thing," he admitted fidgeting with the scar on this left hand. "Yuugi-kun doesn't know. I promised him I wouldn't put the Ring back on too," he half sighed, giving a small, rueful smile. "That's why... That's why I'm glad we're both here now. So that it can't touch us here. No more Dark Games, no more spirits in Items, no more tournaments turned deadly... We can just be us here. Not pawns in some larger game we don't even know the rules of."

He was quiet a moment before continuing. "That's why I'm not going back. Not if there's any way to stop it. He can't use me if he can't exist here. And Yuugi-kun won't have to walk that path if he doesn't want to..." he finished in a very soft voice. It was selfish of him, he knew. The other Yuugi wasn't like the Ring, and Yuugi being apart from him... He had said that he wouldn't have wished Yuugi here for anything, but now that he was...

Wouldn't it just be fine, to stay here forever?

So that was it. The puppet was aware. And aware of his own helplessness. Malik nodded slowly, sitting up, and let his hand drift a little closer to Bakura on the table. He wouldn't outright reach for the boy, but. What kind of friend would he be to not offer support.

"There's nothing worse than feeling trapped," he agreed, both for the sincerity he could imbue the sentiment with and the situational irony: someone, at least, should enjoy tonight. "Someplace like here, you've escaped."

You coward, when Malik'd spent his whole life confronting his cage. But he couldn't say that. It was the boy's very weakness that made Bakura so appealing.

The question remained: how to deal with Yuugi?

"And I guess - Yuugi has too," he added, as if he wasn't quite sure how that situation played out. "Not the kind of thing you expect to learn about your friends, but....I've heard stranger."

Bakura had tried confronting his "cage" as it were before and had wound up dead and in the end, little better off for it. Running away was the best he could do beyond that, he was sad to have to admit.

He gave a very soft laugh, "Un, it really isn't," he agreed. "Ne... don't tell Yuugi-kun? This sort of thing..." He looked down at his cooling tea. "I know I can't do much any more... I used up the one card I had, really," he admitted, another faint laugh escaping him. "All I can do it hope that somehow... somehow staying here will change things." Even though he knew it wouldn't. Really, he was just delaying the inevitable and he knew it, as much as he tried not to acknowledge it.

Malik nodded: he would have very, very little trouble not telling Yuugi about this exchange, and hoped the same held true for everything between Yuugi and himself. He could expand his story, he had no doubt - he just didn't feel like pushing the subject any further.

"It's all right," he reassured Bakura, trying out a little smile. Go ahead, puppet. Give up. Let your friend Malik return hope to you, if he could. Playing both sides might prove useful indeed. "If nothing else, you've got time now, right? Make the most of that. Regroup. And I'll think too, for what it's worth....it's the least I can do for keeping quiet before."

He twitched his shoulders in half a shrug. "Guess I have trouble accepting when things look bleak.

"But leave that to me," he encouraged the other boy. "You've got more immediate matters, right? A new breeding business, and a world to explore.

"And," he added with a slightly larger grin, "a really incredible gaming room."

On the mention of the game room, Bakura gave a grin. "And games that are safe. Even Duel Monsters can't cause any trouble here, ne? And Monster World!"

That was very much a highlight. No chance of the Ring hijacking his favorite game anynmore!

Malik nodded, thinking of the God Card tucked safely away in his Disk. "I've never played the latter before," he admitted, scratching the side of his nose. "Go easy on me....

"But don't stay up thinking about it, either," he remonstrated his friend. "I've kept you up longer than you wanted, haven't I?"

There'd be time. Time to figure out what to do about the puppet who'd given up. That was just how Malik needed him, but -

Well, someday they'd all see how different he was.

"Sometimes I have trouble sleeping," Bakura admitted. "Most of the time I stay up late playing games anyway, so it's easier to fall asleep! But sometimes..." he trailed off, expression growing a bit distant.

Sometimes his dreams were too haunted by memories that he couldn't make himself forget any longer, and the specter of a child who was more mantis than human asking him why he couldn't break free...

Hnh. He had trouble sleeping? Malik almost gave an impulsive snort, but turned it into a shy chuckle in time.

"Say no more," he replied easily, standing up and refilling his water glass; then, on impulse, he stared out the window at what little he could discern of the moon outside. "I'm up too, aren't I?"

"Must be a side effect of that Voice," Bakura quipped lightly. "Though somehow I think saying that would just make him gloat..." he sighed.

Malik made a noncommittal sound in his throat, draining his glass and setting it down by the sink. Here, the Ring Spirit was the least of his problems - and it wouldn't be prudent to stay on that topic.

"More lights might help," he remarked offhandedly, hoping he sounded deep in thought. "Or at least couldn't hurt."

And would keep his own troubles at bay - not to mention prevent any more misunderstandings.

"Harder to sleep when it's light out," Bakura pointed out with a small smile. "As odd as it might sound... I don't mind the darkness. It's comforting, sometimes. Quiet. Full of those dark corners you can imagine all sorts of things hiding in."

Only Bakura would think that a good thing...

Right, so much for that. Just as well. Malik didn't need a light anyway - the fear was useful, he reminded himself, even if it'd gotten worse since arriving here (sans Rishid). It kept him focused.

He couldn't afford to have another of those idle spells like before, when all he'd wanted to do was just get to know these two. He'd take his time in setting his stage, but there was also no time to waste.

Trying not to shiver, Malik crossed his arms again and nearly smirked. "Peaceful?" he suggested, though he could think of several adjectives he'd consider more apt. "And a source of some solitude."

"In a way." There was a light smile on Bakura's lips there. Really, in the dark it was easy to pretend you weren't alone. Far more easy than it was in the daylight! "Though I think I've had enough solitude to last a long while!" he laughed softly.

Someday, he'd have to reveal himself to Bakura, if only to drive home the point that the boy had no idea what he was talking about. All his issues were his own fault - his own weakness made him an appealing target. Whereas Malik hadn't done anything to deserve solitude. His family hadn't asked for the burden of a lonely, stifling destiny. Enough solitude? That's a good one, boy, don't make him laugh....

For the time being, however, the notion of enlightening Ryou Bakura would have to remain a pleasant fantasy. Malik chuckled himself and wandered back over, daring to try and clap his 'friend' on the shoulder. "Well, we've fixed that," he reminded Bakura. "Yuugi and I, that is."

The sad part is that Bakura wouldn't argue the point. He was all too aware that being repossessed by the Ring was his own stupidity. (The whole dead sister and mother thing, plus all the lost friends were hardly anything he had control over, but it didn't stop him from blaming himself for it either.)

But as he had no knowledge of Malik's inner monolog, it was left un-undefended and he instead smiled warmly at the hand on his shoulder. "Un! It was really lucky, you and Yuugi-kun showing up when you did..." After all the losses suffered just before...

"I'm glad we could help." Malik patted that shoulder reassuringly, unused to making contact with others - but if he didn't surmount a few of his own boundaries, he couldn't get properly close to these two. They had to get closer and closer. They both had to trust him with their lives and more. (If they didn't, betraying them openly wouldn't fully satisfy.) "You all right down here, then? I'll stay if you need the company."

"I'm fine," Bakura assured. "If you want to get back to bed, I won't keep you up." And now that he had an answer to the why of things nagging at the back of his head, he was sure he'd be able to sleep properly.

Once he'd had his tea, of course.

Smiling, Malik patted Bakura's shoulder once more before retreating. "I'd better," he admitted apologetically. "Probably going to train tomorrow...wouldn't want to be yawning and let my Pokémon down."

He backed up out of the kitchen, nodding at Bakura while reaching for the lights one more time. "Anytime you want to talk about - any of it, I'm here," he offered. And he meant it.

He wanted to know everything about Ryou Bakura. Though, excellent judge of character that he considered himself, he had a feeling he already did.

Sadly, Malik would have to dig a lot deeper to learn more than Bakura had just shared, and ironically enough, the closer Malik got, the more distance Bakura would put between his new friend and his hidden self.

He nodded, smiling warmly. "Thank you, Malik-kun. Sleep well."

"Same to you."

Turning and heading back to his room, Malik waited until he had the bedroom door between himself and his housemate before letting himself break into a wicked grin. Perhaps living in this house was going to work out after all.

If he could navigate even a situation like that without assistance from the Rod, the rest of his stay in Johto shouldn't pose any troubles at all.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

i'm the fear that keeps you awake, i'm the shadows on the wall

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

And I can't help but laugh :D

Everything is supposed to be where he wants it to be! What gives.

Muwahaha >D

:/

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

This is the icon I meant fo rup there, that one is the one for here :D

Gotcha :3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Pardon the short tag. ^^;

<3 Pardon Malik's constant, self-centered tl;dr XD

TL/DR is always good :D

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

malik this is not a misery contest stop that

Just because you have 1st place doesn't mean Bakura's 3rd place is any less, ya goober :)

he just wants to be the very best, like no one ever was....at....everything....

Silly Malik, that isn't something that you want to be the best at!

:[

no subject

no subject