[He stiffens, his whole body tensing up, as he looks away from Kouta. He can't stare his former friend in the face, not after what he's done.]
Kouta-san... I can't. I just... can't. I'm the one who caused so much of this to happen. I pushed and I pushed and I... I did terrible things. I don't want to hurt people anymore. I try not to here. But that doesn't erase what I did! No matter how much I apologize, no matter how much you forgive me, no matter how much anyone forgives me... I still did it!
[Aki scurries down off of her trainer and over to the other Pachirisu, chattering in concern.]
Kouta-san... I don't want to hurt people. I try to watch myself, to be careful not to make that mistake again, but it means I can't get close to people here. I can't get close to people anywhere, because if something happens and I hurt them... it'd just be repeating history over and over. I can't let them get hurt.
I don't deserve forgiveness because I can't be sure that I wouldn't hurt people again. Until I can be sure that if a situation like the one at home happened here that I wouldn't do the same thing, I can't forgive myself and I can't expect anyone to even start to offer forgiveness. I can't fix things at home, and I can't be sure that I'm safe to be around here. I just... can't. It was my responsibility to save as many people as I could, and I couldn't...
[He shakes in Kouta's grasp, all of his poise and confidence falling away. He almost seems to shrink from the way his posture shifts, and it's all he can do to keep himself upright.]
I couldn't save the person I cared about most. I couldn't save my friends or family from myself. If I can't save anyone, if I can't use my power to protect the people who actually matter, what good am I?
no subject
Kouta-san... I can't. I just... can't. I'm the one who caused so much of this to happen. I pushed and I pushed and I... I did terrible things. I don't want to hurt people anymore. I try not to here. But that doesn't erase what I did! No matter how much I apologize, no matter how much you forgive me, no matter how much anyone forgives me... I still did it!
[Aki scurries down off of her trainer and over to the other Pachirisu, chattering in concern.]
Kouta-san... I don't want to hurt people. I try to watch myself, to be careful not to make that mistake again, but it means I can't get close to people here. I can't get close to people anywhere, because if something happens and I hurt them... it'd just be repeating history over and over. I can't let them get hurt.
I don't deserve forgiveness because I can't be sure that I wouldn't hurt people again. Until I can be sure that if a situation like the one at home happened here that I wouldn't do the same thing, I can't forgive myself and I can't expect anyone to even start to offer forgiveness. I can't fix things at home, and I can't be sure that I'm safe to be around here. I just... can't. It was my responsibility to save as many people as I could, and I couldn't...
[He shakes in Kouta's grasp, all of his poise and confidence falling away. He almost seems to shrink from the way his posture shifts, and it's all he can do to keep himself upright.]
I couldn't save the person I cared about most. I couldn't save my friends or family from myself. If I can't save anyone, if I can't use my power to protect the people who actually matter, what good am I?