[He doesn't look up at North, doesn't have to. He can feel the man's gaze on him, and that'd be too much to see right now. Church is glad, just a little, that North doesn't jump to the conclusion, even if it's become obvious. Doesn't name him: Alpha. It gives him a chance to not answer or to deny, to say that much even if they both know the truth. Even if his vague memories of his age reversal and the communication he put out for the world to see tells the truth as plainly as anything else could.
Church quietly moves back down the line, beside Tex. Forms one more out of the air. Doesn't suggest that it's him, a blue-white armored form with a sniper rifle in its hands. Just makes it. Settles it beside Tex.
They're all dead. He can never go home. It's just Epsilon now. And knowing that makes it so much harder. Knowing that Epsilon is the memory (and memory is the key), the memory that gets made into him, into a better him, a more settled him, a him that understands his own history and can better fill in the gaping holes in his head. Knows that they're even there in the first place and why and how. Why even bother having the rest if the important one who was going to bring the Project to justice got out safely?
He has to clear his throat feeling tight and raw before he can speak.]
Did they think it didn't, y'know, exist? They didn't know where they came from. They didn't have those memories. Was it like...like something was missing, and they gave it a name collectively that made sense? [He can hear their voices calling out to him, excited, overjoyed. Sense obsession like a crawl over his skin. Searching for each other. Searching for him. He didn't understand it all before--finding himself here.
And he's a little afraid, to understand. Epsilon understood, and Epsilon fucked up Washington's head. There's a reason Alpha doesn't remember. But if Epsilon can...if Epsilon can, then maybe he can, too.]
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Church quietly moves back down the line, beside Tex. Forms one more out of the air. Doesn't suggest that it's him, a blue-white armored form with a sniper rifle in its hands. Just makes it. Settles it beside Tex.
They're all dead. He can never go home. It's just Epsilon now. And knowing that makes it so much harder. Knowing that Epsilon is the memory (and memory is the key), the memory that gets made into him, into a better him, a more settled him, a him that understands his own history and can better fill in the gaping holes in his head. Knows that they're even there in the first place and why and how. Why even bother having the rest if the important one who was going to bring the Project to justice got out safely?
He has to clear his throat feeling tight and raw before he can speak.]
Did they think it didn't, y'know, exist? They didn't know where they came from. They didn't have those memories. Was it like...like something was missing, and they gave it a name collectively that made sense? [He can hear their voices calling out to him, excited, overjoyed. Sense obsession like a crawl over his skin. Searching for each other. Searching for him. He didn't understand it all before--finding himself here.
And he's a little afraid, to understand. Epsilon understood, and Epsilon fucked up Washington's head. There's a reason Alpha doesn't remember. But if Epsilon can...if Epsilon can, then maybe he can, too.]