... Leave it to Heather to defend Rise's questionable hallucinations with thoughts of violence. She appreciated the thought, anyway, and knew better than to think it was just an idle remark. Knowing the older girl, if anyone had said something like that in front of her, she would have already been drawing her foot back before they could finish their sentence.
"I..." she began hesitantly, looking up at both of them, and it was all she could do just to loop an arm around Asimov and not cling to the Ampharos and pass it off as a needy hug. She trusted them. That wasn't an issue. But nightmares were one thing. Reliving a memory and making it ten times worse? That was harder.
Come on, Rise. An idol can always perform until the end, so don't cave in now.
"Fog meant something else back home," she continued, after she'd taken a second to clear her throat. "And it wasn't anything good. There was an... an incident taking place that I got roped into, and to end it, we had to face someone extremely powerful and dangerous. I wasn't a fighter; I acted as support and analysis, and I thought that was good enough, but she--" Another pause as an unwanted lump clogged her words. "Well, in the end, we won, but before that, she killed my entire team. How Senpai came back and saved everyone was something else..."
Rise released a shaky sigh. She'd explained most of this to Ven already, but not in as much detail; she'd been too upset for that. Now that she was actually capable of it, it hurt that much worse.
"Here... I saw her kill all of you. Every single person I cared about, and all I could do was stand there. I couldn't move or say anything, and one by one, she dragged you down, and you... you died, I mean Heather, you fought like mad, and Hal was trying hard, too, and I couldn't save either of you-- I couldn't save anybody! E-even if I could have moved, I keep thinking that even then, I wouldn't have been able to do anything, but at least-- I would have tried--"
Rise's carefully composed sentences were crumbling rapidly and the wavering of her tone complemented the tears in her eyes quite nicely. She would have rather died than willingly felt that utterly pitiful and helpless ever again.
"I hated myself," she whispered, using her free hand to wipe her eyes as they finally overflowed. "And... I was sure that most of my friends, watching me watch them die... h-hated me, too. For doing nothing."
She had to catch her breath, sniffling badly now. "I-I think one of the officers found me outside, just-- screaming. I don't know how long it took her to calm me down, or if my throat just h-hurt too bad for me to keep it up."
Her next smile was a poor attempt at one, at best. "... And that's my story."
no subject
"I..." she began hesitantly, looking up at both of them, and it was all she could do just to loop an arm around Asimov and not cling to the Ampharos and pass it off as a needy hug. She trusted them. That wasn't an issue. But nightmares were one thing. Reliving a memory and making it ten times worse? That was harder.
Come on, Rise. An idol can always perform until the end, so don't cave in now.
"Fog meant something else back home," she continued, after she'd taken a second to clear her throat. "And it wasn't anything good. There was an... an incident taking place that I got roped into, and to end it, we had to face someone extremely powerful and dangerous. I wasn't a fighter; I acted as support and analysis, and I thought that was good enough, but she--" Another pause as an unwanted lump clogged her words. "Well, in the end, we won, but before that, she killed my entire team. How Senpai came back and saved everyone was something else..."
Rise released a shaky sigh. She'd explained most of this to Ven already, but not in as much detail; she'd been too upset for that. Now that she was actually capable of it, it hurt that much worse.
"Here... I saw her kill all of you. Every single person I cared about, and all I could do was stand there. I couldn't move or say anything, and one by one, she dragged you down, and you... you died, I mean Heather, you fought like mad, and Hal was trying hard, too, and I couldn't save either of you-- I couldn't save anybody! E-even if I could have moved, I keep thinking that even then, I wouldn't have been able to do anything, but at least-- I would have tried--"
Rise's carefully composed sentences were crumbling rapidly and the wavering of her tone complemented the tears in her eyes quite nicely. She would have rather died than willingly felt that utterly pitiful and helpless ever again.
"I hated myself," she whispered, using her free hand to wipe her eyes as they finally overflowed. "And... I was sure that most of my friends, watching me watch them die... h-hated me, too. For doing nothing."
She had to catch her breath, sniffling badly now. "I-I think one of the officers found me outside, just-- screaming. I don't know how long it took her to calm me down, or if my throat just h-hurt too bad for me to keep it up."
Her next smile was a poor attempt at one, at best. "... And that's my story."