He doesn't even bother attempting to push her off, he knows it'd be useless, instead he opts to lay there, face distorted slightly by pain as he tries to make a quick check that nothing was broken.

Right, what to do. Well, obviously stop acting like you desire to start using some sort of mobility aid and instead start apologizing.

"Of course, but would you care to tell me which statement you want repeating?"

Moron. What happened to your famed logical way of thinking? Admit it, you just like being snarky, you do this all the time in threatening situations.