Sheriff Harry S. Truman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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route_10652013-03-08 12:55 am
likewatson) wrote in route_10652013-03-08 12:55 am
Entry tags:
Montell Jordan Wrote A Song About This Log
Who: Anyone currently living on or welcome at the Justice Farm!
Where: Albert Rosenfield's Justice Farm of SCIENCE!! in Saffron City
When: Anytime in the month of March
Summary: A compilation of all those one-off threads, logs, and other general social interactions that don't warrant their own individual post and yet promise to be too much fun to outright handwave, either.
Rating: May vary! But assume PG unless noted otherwise.
Log:
☆ YOU ARE HERE ☆
(IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.)
Set phasers to "shenanigans", captain.
Where: Albert Rosenfield's Justice Farm of SCIENCE!! in Saffron City
When: Anytime in the month of March
Summary: A compilation of all those one-off threads, logs, and other general social interactions that don't warrant their own individual post and yet promise to be too much fun to outright handwave, either.
Rating: May vary! But assume PG unless noted otherwise.
Log:
☆ YOU ARE HERE ☆
(IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.)
Set phasers to "shenanigans", captain.
for albert; march 8
In his arms, rather.
No one else is around, either, which is what's making this even more of a problem. He'd usually go to Cooper, or Carmen, or someone else with general pokémon knowledge... but this is new. This is weird. He didn't know pokémon could get the hiccups, and wouldn't you know it, his Growlithe is the one who had to go and reveal this fact.
It wouldn't be a problem if Madison weren't literally hiccuping tiny fireballs ever few seconds. She shakes in his arms when she does it, and this is the third time his hair has almost caught fire.
He kicks at the lab door with his foot, trying to make it sound more like a knock than a kick. Albert wouldn't appreciate that.
...not that he's going to appreciate this any more. Or at all.]
Albert?
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...dammit, Harry.
A few seconds later, the door opens.]
What?
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[On cue, Madison hiccups again. A little trail of embers tumble from her mouth.
Harry makes a face, because when you think about it, this is kind of gross.]
She's got the hiccups and I'm pretty sure she's a few seconds away from lighting something on fire.
[Do you mean like the rug under your feet, Harry?]
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The fire dog has the hiccups.
[Is he seriously hearing this right. IS THIS SERIOUSLY HIS LIFE.]
And what, I'm supposed to have some kind of magic doggy hiccup aid?
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[Is that smoke he smells?]
Have some... idea... [Harry trails off as he looks down.
Yup, that's a fire starting, all right.]
Uh.
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[Harry, don't you dare say yes to — jesus christ is that — on his rug, Harry?!]
Don't just stand there, Truman!
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Except halfway toward the kitchen, he spins on his heel just in time to see Madison jump with another hiccup.
ALBERT, YOUR SHOES.]
Albert! Your shoes!
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[Do you know how long it takes Albert to get out of a pair of shoes that happen to be singeing and/or on fire, Harry? Turns out it's approximately a quarter of a second per shoe. Which means that Albert is now clad in socks only, and he's doing the only thing he can think of to remedy this problem — snatching up the dog so he can get her someplace not wholly flammable, thanks.
Meanwhile, the dynamic duo of Scrappy and Sweep have just become aware that the house is partially on fire, and fire means ashes and dirt and mess, and that is Not Acceptable at All. So in scurry a Minccino and Cinccino to freak out a bit about this fire and add to the chaos while they're at it.]
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[He's about to take off for the kitchen again when he sees Albert pick Madison up, at which point he stops. Again. And just kind of... reaches in that direction, because he knows he won't get over there in time to stop what's about to happen.
That being Madison hiccuping as she's carried away.
Hiccuping more, now that she's nervous. OMG WHY IS SHE BEING CARRIED BY SOMEONE WHO ISN'T HARRY THIS IS NOT OKAY
Time to wriggle around in an attempt to get free~]
Put her down before she sets the rest of you on fire!
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[Or so he snaps as he half-hauls, half-rushes Madison into the lab and back into the corner where the makeshift emergency shower is tucked away — it's less an actual shower and more just a glassed-in tiled area with a drain, but when you've got a handful of Water Pokemon on hand, plumbing can sometimes take a backseat in emergencies.
Acting fast, he hauls her down to the shower and shoves her in, sliding the door shut again lest she try to get out and possibly start setting his lab on fire while she's at it. His lab coat's a little charred and something smells like it's smouldering, but at least she's someplace now where she's not going to burn down the house just by burping.]
Yell for Quackers!
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WHATEVER. He finally makes it into the kitchen, where he starts searching for something bigger than a glass to fill. Albert's next direction is a bit garbled, thanks to the walls now between them, so what happens is an awful lot like what happens when Gordon is around.
All the noise Harry's making isn't helping, either.]
DID YOU SAY CRACKERS?
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[True to form, the yell is vaguely muffled, and makes it difficult to make out what precisely Albert is even articulating here—
...and then waddling through the kitchen comes a small blue duck, which pauses to look disdainfully at Harry at the sink for a minute or two before proceeding on his way toward the lab.]
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Harry pauses in his search at the sound of duck feet padding across the floor and blinks at Quackers.
r u d e
Anyway, something shiny and red catches his eye as soon as he opens the cabinet below the sink. A FIRE EXTINGUISHER. The day is saved. Scrappy and Sweep probably won't be pleased, though, as Harry shoos them out of the way and sprays the carpet with foam.
Meanwhile, Madison is two seconds away from freaking out.]
no subject
Meanwhile, Quackers has made it in to Albert by now, who picks him up unceremoniously like a little blue feathered squirt gun and proceeds to stick him over the top of the glass, giving him a squeeze until he starts erupting with water.
...Sorry, Madison.]
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[Harry's cut off by the sound of a not-so-happy howl.
WHAT IS ALBERT DOING TO HARRY'S POOR PUPPY?
Fire extinguisher still in hand (and hallway fire safely out), he jumps into the lab and —
And sprays Albert.]
Hey! Cut that out!
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[It's in his haste to get out of the way that he ends up turning Quackers, still merrily jettisoning water, in Harry's direction as he retreats.
Sorry, Harry.]
You can't spray her with that, you dolt!
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Harry stands there, gets soaked, and deadpans.]
I wasn't trying to spray her. I was aiming for you! What are you doing, traumatizing the hiccups out of her?
[Again, on cue, the drenched puppy in the shower starts whining.
This isn't fun. :c ]
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[...Albert may or may not be continuing to apply real world logic to Johto here, whoops.]
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[It's at this point that Harry sets the fire extinguisher down, tries valiantly to not make an "ew, wet socks" face, and pushes past Albert to retrieve Madison from the shower.
The good news is, she's not hiccuping anymore!
...but the bad news is she's really mad at Albert and starts growling immediately.]
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[It's cool, Maddy, he'll glare you down with the best of them.]
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[He crouches down, pats Madison's soggy head.]
It's okay, girl. [Then, to Albert — only half-sarcastically, mind:] Nice work, doc.
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[He says, holding out...the duck...? ALBERT, DAMMIT, IT'S NOT A HAIR DRYER.]
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That's weird.]
I think we'll stick to a towel.