Montell Jordan Wrote A Song About This Log

[likewatson]

Who: Anyone currently living on or welcome at the Justice Farm!
Where: Albert Rosenfield's Justice Farm of SCIENCE!! in Saffron City
When: Anytime in the month of March
Summary: A compilation of all those one-off threads, logs, and other general social interactions that don't warrant their own individual post and yet promise to be too much fun to outright handwave, either.
Rating: May vary! But assume PG unless noted otherwise.
Log:


☆ YOU ARE HERE ☆
(IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.)


Set phasers to "shenanigans", captain.

Comments

[likewatson]

[It's not that Harry doubts Albert's claim, but...

WHATEVER. He finally makes it into the kitchen, where he starts searching for something bigger than a glass to fill. Albert's next direction is a bit garbled, thanks to the walls now between them, so what happens is an awful lot like what happens when Gordon is around.

All the noise Harry's making isn't helping, either.]

DID YOU SAY CRACKERS?

[worktodo]

QUACKERS!

[True to form, the yell is vaguely muffled, and makes it difficult to make out what precisely Albert is even articulating here—

...and then waddling through the kitchen comes a small blue duck, which pauses to look disdainfully at Harry at the sink for a minute or two before proceeding on his way toward the lab.]

[likewatson]

[Oh. That makes way more sense.

Harry pauses in his search at the sound of duck feet padding across the floor and blinks at Quackers.

r u d e

Anyway, something shiny and red catches his eye as soon as he opens the cabinet below the sink. A FIRE EXTINGUISHER. The day is saved. Scrappy and Sweep probably won't be pleased, though, as Harry shoos them out of the way and sprays the carpet with foam.

Meanwhile, Madison is two seconds away from freaking out.]

[worktodo]

[Predictably, Scrappy and Sweep do in fact begin to have a fit about this because AAAAAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOAM EVERYWHERE WHY, but they do sort of dart-fidget out of the way and hop-dance around in agitation as the spray begins to set in and put out the fire.

Meanwhile, Quackers has made it in to Albert by now, who picks him up unceremoniously like a little blue feathered squirt gun and proceeds to stick him over the top of the glass, giving him a squeeze until he starts erupting with water.

...Sorry, Madison.]

[likewatson]

Calm down, guys. It's —

[Harry's cut off by the sound of a not-so-happy howl.

WHAT IS ALBERT DOING TO HARRY'S POOR PUPPY?

Fire extinguisher still in hand (and hallway fire safely out), he jumps into the lab and —




And sprays Albert.]

Hey! Cut that out!

[worktodo]

What the hell?!

[It's in his haste to get out of the way that he ends up turning Quackers, still merrily jettisoning water, in Harry's direction as he retreats.

Sorry, Harry.]

You can't spray her with that, you dolt!

[likewatson]

[What the hell is even happening anymore?

Harry stands there, gets soaked, and deadpans.]

I wasn't trying to spray her. I was aiming for you! What are you doing, traumatizing the hiccups out of her?

[Again, on cue, the drenched puppy in the shower starts whining.

This isn't fun. :c ]

[worktodo]

Wet fuel doesn't burn. Don't all you boy scouts know that, Captain Campfire?

[...Albert may or may not be continuing to apply real world logic to Johto here, whoops.]

[likewatson]

Are you crazy?

[It's at this point that Harry sets the fire extinguisher down, tries valiantly to not make an "ew, wet socks" face, and pushes past Albert to retrieve Madison from the shower.

The good news is, she's not hiccuping anymore!

...but the bad news is she's really mad at Albert and starts growling immediately.]

[worktodo]

You come to me with a dog that's hiccuping fire, roasts my shoes, ruins my carpet, and expect me to throw everything else out the window to take care of it at the drop of your damn cowboy hat, and now when I do you're gonna call me crazy?

[It's cool, Maddy, he'll glare you down with the best of them.]

[likewatson]

I didn't know that was gonna happen! I'll get you new shoes, I'll pay for the carpet.

[He crouches down, pats Madison's soggy head.]

It's okay, girl. [Then, to Albert — only half-sarcastically, mind:] Nice work, doc.

[worktodo]

Quit the whining. Quackers does blow dries, too. Here.

[He says, holding out...the duck...? ALBERT, DAMMIT, IT'S NOT A HAIR DRYER.]

[likewatson]

[And Harry's just going to gently pull Madison away, because no.

That's weird.]

I think we'll stick to a towel.