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Who: Karkat and Sollux
Where: Route 17
When: July 25th
Summary: Sollux is being a whiny grub-faced wonder and unable to catch a fish. Someone needs to smack him around a little and Karkat is just that person.
Rating: PG

[ the thing about sticking around Kanto is that there are a lot of places to choose from. even though departing from John and the others, the truth is Karkat has no idea where to go from here. he had remembered that he liked Fuchsia and the extended stay is more than all right with him.

Cycling Road is a pain in the ass. always has been. always will be. Karkat prefers flying over it rather than actually attempting to haul a bike up it. seriously, who would torture their leg muscles by going up that far to steep incline at a Slugma's pace? not this kid, that's for sure. his interest in moving around is purely for catching some of those formerly fossilized beasts he had been running into here and there. kinda wants to find out what others are lurking in different areas.

it's Nick that makes a sudden drop in altitude. without the Aerodactyl doing so, Karkat would have probably have missed Sollux. in fact, he might have if not for the shit flipping that Karkat could spot no matter what form the other took. this means that Karkat must clearly take on the daunting task of inserting himself into his best friend's affairs and pound away until there's nothing left but an embarrassing mess they'll likely both sweep under the proverbial rug later. ]

Screaming at the water. Very effective way of fishing there, Captor. Please, oh please, teach me your strategy so that I might take that massive step from zero to hero in no time flat.

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[Sollux Captor had been sitting in more or less the same spot all morning. He grabbed a fishing rod that he’d gotten ages ago and never actually used, asked around the local shops for what the hell he’s supposed to use as bait, and then went fishing. Most people looked at him funny for this, though – after the mess that had occurred with Sabrina’s séance (and he just knew that one was going to go wrong), it was a little bit weird to actively go looking for angry fossilized Pokémon. But Sollux had a mission, and no stupid villager was going to stand in his way.]

[The troll/human had come down to the cliffs underneath Cycling Road with the intention of catching a Relicanth, showing it off on his PokéGear for Aradia’s benefit, and then giving it to her as a gift – and also a plea to take him back, because he’s been reduced to living with Rose and John, he so doesn’t want to deal with the whole argument anymore. It was kind of sad. But he had the PokéGear on its little stand in the grass, waiting to film Sollux when he chose to turn it on.]

[He didn’t actually know what Relicanths ate, so the bait was really a shot in the dark. But he got some pretty nice stuff. The first thing Sollux reeled in was a Magikarp… and the second… and the third. After about ten of the Useless Fish Pokémon found their way onto his line, Sollux began to get a little bit… um, angry.]

[And he continued to be angry for about twenty minutes.]

[When Karkat found him, Sollux was past the warm-up stage and had now moved on into full-on angry ranting. He was cursing out the Relicanth, the Magikarp, and anything else that might be sitting in the water at the time; when Karkat actually found him, he was just at the point of suggesting that MAYBE he ought to do a rain dance or some shit, because Relicanths only come out in the rain, don’t they? Why do they have to look so much like sea Magikarp? FUCKING RARE BASTARDS. –And when Sollux Captor busts out the human video game references, then you know things are getting really bad.]

[And meanwhile, a wild Ratatta casually moseyed up to his PokéGear, and bit it… before being scared away by the light and sound that showed that the Gear’s video feed function had been turned on.]

[Without a doubt, this a horrible situation for anyone to be in. But fortunately, there’s an Interventionkat to calm him down again! …Or not!]

Well look who it fucking is.

[Sollux had long since stopped used his fishing rod for actual fishing, instead opting to use it as a makeshift pointy and threatening weapon, as if challenging the Relicanth would make them more likely to come out. And now, he pointed it on Karkat.]

Did you drop in for a purpose OTHER than to fuck with me, or can I stop listening?

Edited 2013-07-25 21:44 (UTC)

[ Sollux has no need to do a rain dance. his ranting coupled with the spit from his stupid as fuck lisp already makes for a fancy one. Karkat has no idea why the Relicanth wouldn't be attracted to that.

oh. wait. nevermind. ]

Get over yourself, Sollux. I'm not Ampora who practically jumps flaming hoops for every opportunity to lustfully get your gears grinding. Though I'm impressed that I actually have your attention for more than two seconds. Amazing!

[ have a slow clap. ]

And here I thought that your deficiency in catching whatever it is you desire might stem from your mutated brain. Thanks for proving me wrong on that at least.

[He's so burningly tempted to thwack Karkat with the fishing pole. It would be extremely satisfying... but it'd probably also break his fishing pole. Somehow, Sollux really doubted that they were designed for secondary use as long-range polearms.]

So you're just here to fuck with me.

[That answers that question!]

Great! Great. Fucking great. That's exactly what I need right now, Karkat Vantas dropping from the sky like some sort of dumb, vertically-challenged angel, to deliver upon me all the dipshittery I could never need.

[Hallelujah.]

Fuck off, Vantas. I'm not in the mood for your shit right now.

[ it also might not be a good idea to thwack Karkat with an irritable Aerodactyl still lurking close by.

that and Karkat would strike back and that's not likely to end well for Sollux. not that Karkat isn't considering that a good throat punch might be good medication for mister bipolar and irritating. ]

Flattered as I am that you think of my person as a harbinger of doom and destruction - which I rightfully am and fuck anyone with a rusty spoon that says otherwise - at least I'm not flipping my shit at the inability to catch fish other than Magikarp when the world is teaming with angry prehistoric beasts.

But I bet it's your face that's really scaring them off and not your grubby tantrums. You know... Those are far less impressive without the accompanying light show. Also fuck you... I am less than an inch shorter than you!

Edited 2013-07-25 22:09 (UTC)

[What the hell, it's an Aerodactyl. Sollux can take it. Definitely.]

[...Ah, yes, Karkat's height. Mockery of his stature was usually the one thing that made Sollux happiest in the world, and since they hadn't seen much of each other in several months, it was pretty nice to get back to the good old days.]

You're a harbinger of mild annoyances, Vantas, that's what I was saying. Also, you're never going to live your height down, I hope you kno--

[It seemed that while Sollux was running his mouth, he only then managed to get the gist of what Karkat had been saying earlier.]

Look, we don't know how rare the motherfuckers are. Maybe it's a swarm, but the swarm is deeper underwater than this rod goes! Maybe I just have faulty equipment! I don't even know what the damn things eat!

Oh you have faulty equipment all right... Pretty sure your rod can't ready any depths.

[ rolling his eyes. Captor, you are so dramatic. that's saying something coming from Karkat. ]

I mean obviously they're rare, fucknuts. They came from fossils. Now I do realize that your horns are lodged so far up your waste chute that it tickles your brain and creates the bountiful shit fits you have, but I didn't think it meant that you were completely oblivious to the fact that normally these things are dead. That's what fossilized means, you know.

[Deep breaths. Deep breaths. ...Yeah, neither of them really expected that to work, did they?]

I already know they're rare, KK! Aradia's been screaming RARE FUCKING FOSSILS for like days now! But the problem with dead Pokémon is that there weren't any fucking researchers around back in the day when these things were alive, so we don't know what the fuck they do!

I just want to catch a fucking Relicanth! That is all I want to do.

[ see how impressed Karkat is by all of that? he's so enthralled that his arms cross over his chest while his eyes make an impressive attempt to stay lodged in the back of his head.

and when Sollux is done? Karkat kicks him in the shin. ]

So just ask for help, dipshit.

[Sollux yells, loudly, and falls to the ground.]

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?

Maybe because you've been nothing but a sniveling little bitch lately? Or maybe it's because you're being a braindead maggot all because you can't catch one little fish. Are you really going to let that grubfucker get the best of you?

You're Sollux motherfucking Captor for fuck's sake! You are supposed to be the master of games - the shitlick that knows all of the codes and the cheats.

I honestly expected better. That's why I only kicked you in the leg. I'm afraid anything else might result in even further deterioration of your IQ.

Edited 2013-07-29 04:27 (UTC)

Shut the fuck up! What do you even know about catching fish anyway? You don't even do any fucking work anymore, I bet you last caught a fucking fish the first month you were here! It's HARD, okay?! IT's fucking hard! Hell, for all I know, they might not even be around here and I've just wasted my whole fucking day! [He seems to have no intention of getting back onto his feet, because he's just going to sit here and punch the ground a few times.]

THERE ARE BETTER THINGS TO SPEND YOUR FUCKING DAY ON THAN CATCHING A FISH THAT'S ALREADY DEAD!

[ you know what he said about not hitting Sollux's head? forget it. Karkat smacks him one upside the head anyway. ]

What a grub. Are you going to cry and bloody your knuckles while you're at it? Just looking at you reminds me of how pathetic you really can be. Fuck, I'm getting a migraine just from having to listen to your mangled words and misconceptions. Truly I don't do anything ever but sit on my nubs and watch the hours tick by. It's not like I haven't been training and beating Gym Leaders this last year and a half or anything. Not like some of those haven't been elite challenges ever. But oh no. You're right. I'm just a lazy slob, growing roots that latch onto the chair so that I might become a literal potato, flipping through the channels and working to increase my waist size...

[ Karkat plucks out a pokéball and gives it a toss. Vivian, Karkat's Milotic, begins swimming about in the water below. ]

Dive down and fetch this grubling a Relicanth, would you? He might have an aneurism if he doesn't get it.

TAKE IT BACK!

[Was that an actual sentence? Maybe. Maybe it was 'TAKE IT BACK' or maybe it was a deep, primal, unattractive noise. But one way or another he was clearly reacting to Vivian.]

I don't want YOU to get it! I have to do it myself!!

So then do it instead of sitting here whining about the unfairness of the task or how hard it is.

[ Karkat whistles and Vivian resurfaces. waiting. ]

I bet you don't even have Dive.

[...Dive?]

[You need Dive. To catch a Relicanth.]

[He's been sitting here this whole damn time when he should have been using Dive.]

Are you th--pffth--shitting me?!

You do need fucking Dive! I WAS RIGHT!

...Isn't it obvious? A bottom dwelling beast can't be caught with a goddamn fishing rod.

[ Sollux... really... ]

You're an embarrassment. Why am I even associated with you - hell, how did I ever become your friend?

Look, you're MORE than welcome to fuck off if you want to! And take your goddamn Milotic! See if I care!

Like I'm going to do what you, some asshole pounding the ground into fine sand, tells me.

You don't want me here? Then make me leave.

Fine. Fine!

You might as well set up fucking camp, because I'm leaving!

[And now he stands up. Leaves all his shit. Releases Vesta, his Mandibuzz, and seems to have every intention of flying the fuck off... until he turns back around just to bitch at Karkat some more.]

I'm not taking any fucking help from you! Or from anybody! And as I already told you, these things have been dead for millions of years, how the fuck was I supposed to know that they live in deep water?!

...You look it up on the PokéDex.

[ Karkat frowns. well... frowns more. it's not really his normal 'i hate the world' scowl. ]

What bee crawled up your orifice and died? I know you get testy and shit, but this seems pretty damn extreme. You haven't even flipped moods on me yet... All of this can't be because you haven't been able to catch one fucking fish.

[He looks like he's going to flip moods, for a second, but then it's back to angry. At least he's not screaming anymore though.]

I just really need to catch this Relicanth, KK. By myself.

[So that Aradia won't hate him anymore and he won't be a completely worthless imbecile, just a mostly worthless imbecile. But he's not going to say that in a million years.]

[Vesta looks on, rather confused as to the entire situation, and looks to Karkat since Sollux seems to be having a Moment again.]

[ the look Karkat is giving Sollux amounts to "you better tell me what is going on before I deck you." he is not buying any of this vague bullshit. ]

Stop it! Stop it! I don't need a fucking sob story for everything, maybe I just want to catch a Relicanth!

[And he's not going to. Nope.]

[The Mandibuzz, meanwhile, decides that Sollux isn't going to be using her at all in the immediate future, and starts to wander around the campsite, picking shit up. She notices his Pokégear hanging around on the floor, stares into the camera, and turns it off before dropping it back in his bag.]

[He turns around to find that his Pokémon has left the immediate area he released her in, and curses loudly.]

Which tells me you do have some kind of sob story.

[ even Karkat's eyes are on the bird. looks like that thing is 100% done with Sollux too. might be used to the mood swings.

Leopold decides to make an entrance... and help that Mandibuzz out. he's used to Sollux's shitfits too. ]

[Vesta looks over at the Espeon, and nods at him uncertainly. Who... is this Espeon and why is he helping her pick her Trainer's shit up.]

I do not. Vesta!

[She looks up at him for a moment, stares, and then goes back to collecting the trash from his lunch.]

[ to which Leopold can just reply with "I lived with a Captor for months on end." and he had been around this one long enough too. Leopold just understands.

it's the Espeon that responds, not even bothering to look up. ]

Perhaps you do not retain your psychic abilities, but I do.

[She nods and clucks sympathetically. Or... whatever noise that vultures make.]

...Whatthefuck!

[YOU LET AN ESPEON PROBE HIS MIND???]

Leopold is the offspring of Rose's beasts...

[ which means he has absolutely no control over Leopold's whims. ]

That expression suits you.

Well, you translate, because I guess being Rose's means that no one can know what the fuck he's talking about.

[Meanwhile, Vesta has more or less cleaned up the entire place by now, and settles down to preen herself.]

I would like to believe that I am far easier to understand than she, thank you very much. That being said, you should just tell him, Sollux, about matters you will likely rant about at a later time. The other option is for me to to discuss the feelings that are most prevalent - the ones that you are throwing around for everyone within a psychic distance of one hundred meters to pick up - to which Karkat will simply hunt you down later to talk about. You know he will...

[ now even Karkat looks offended at that. Leopold though? he's just swishing his tail(s) back and forth. grooming. ]

Hey!

Look, cat, I'm going to tell him at my own damn time! And most certainly someplace where you're not around!

[ Sollux. Sollux. that is one Espeon that's drawing closer and one Karkat that is kind of backing up. ]

What? What?

[Vesta tries to continue preening, but even she knows that shit's going to go down soon. And despite the fact that she despises the little shit with all of her being sometimes, she still cannot sit there and do nothing -- so she sits there and watches instead, ruffling her wings into takeoff positions.]

I'd take back calling him cat, Sollux...

[ is that psychic glowing from the Espeon. oh yes, yes it is that eerie purple glow. ]

I can't believe it. He lives with Karkat Grubmunch-Shitbridge Vantas and he can't handle someone calling him cat?!

[Vesta is watching. She is watching. And her eyes definitely aren't narrowing because she's got a Nasty Plot or anything...]

[ because... because Karkat kind of adores Leopold and treats the little thing with respect. SPECIAL CHRISTMAS PRESENT OKOK.

AND NO. Leopold doesn't do well with blatant disrespect. from anyone. now Vesta shouldn't worry. because when Leopold gets close enough, he turns around and smacks Sollux with a Sand Attack. ]

He isn't even worth my time.

[Sollux emits some kind of noise that suggests he's been holding his breath for a while now. Predictably, Vesta is still watching the Espeon like a hawk.]

[Still, the Psychic-type has managed to shut him up, so Sollux just turns away and folds his arms. Not going to attempt to order Vesta around again, because everyone saw how well that went last time, but he is not going to engage in an argument with a cat any longer...]

You can be a little shit, you know that?

[ but it has no heat to it. Karkat looks half way between exasperated and amused. Leopold got Sollux to shut up. said Espeon does an equivalent to a shrug. ]

That much I have learned from my own trainer.

[ Karkat makes a face... then turns his attention to Sollux once more. ]

Look, dude. Do you really not expect me to butt into your business? That only works for so long.

I don't want people butting into my business. People do that way too fucking much as it is.

[Vesta starts walking, moving directly past Leopold and settling herself between him and Sollux. Idly, the Trainer holds out an arm to pet her wing.]

The idea was to hold my shit together.

[ Vesta can do that. Leopold will go to rubbing against Karkat's legs. ]

We're talking about you and me here. There's no way we can NOT lose our shit. Dropping the shit that we're carrying like some newborn hoofbeast is kind of inevitable. For the both of us.

Yeah, but why? Can't we fix that, can't we change it, something?

That's what I wanted to do, KK!

I don't think we ever can. Not fully, anyway. Some of that is just so engrained into who we are that I don't think it will ever fully dissipate.

Personally, I think I've turned out to be different than what my expectations were.

No one wakes up at the age of three sweeps and says "I'm going to be a monumental failure in everything I say and do when I grow up!" Of course you did.

But anyway... the Relicanth is actually important. And I have to catch it by myself. It's not even for me, anyway.

Who honestly does? Though I think I came pretty close with the whole "I'm going to prove my worth as a Threshecutioner" schtick. Like that was ever going to happen...

[ Karkat gives Sollux a "well duh" look. it's obviously for Aradia. like it could be for anyone else. ]

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