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route_10652011-06-24 10:53 pm
dead-black-eyes.livejournal.com) wrote in route_10652011-06-24 10:53 pm
Entry tags:
Sweet Dreams are Made of This, Who Am I to Disagree?
Who: L Lawliet ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dead_black_eyes and Belphegor of Sloth makesagoodwife
Where: An inn in Violet City
When: June 25, several hours after Mammon of Greed wakes up
Summary: L's had a thorough and not altogether welcome look at his own soul. Belphegor's had a hell of a week just trying to take care of her husk-friends and dutifully going after Shedinjas with the rest of Johto. But as weird and wayward as L's soul is, it finds its way back. He, his pokemon, and Belphe all ultimately consider this a positive development.
L's soul wasn't a mirror image of his body's appearance, like many of the others he had encountered during his week in the nightmare world. On the contrary, it had forced him to confront the fact that something about him was seriously off. While he was physically human (he didn't consider this point debatable in the slightest), psychologically, there was something missing in him, or something there that shouldn't have been, that made him... well. Hadn't he put it best to the children, miles away in an orphanage built because of him?
Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans, even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat, even though they've never experienced hunger. They study, even though they have no interest in academics. They seek friendship, even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it, because in truth... I am that monster.
Really, he wasn't surprised that his soul was such a twisted, strange wayward thing. Childish, and hollow, and nameless except for the things he called himself. "L" stood for so many things. Last One. Lost One. Lying Monster. None of them were ever things he had dwelt on, preferring to distance himself from all the broken, human, weak implications. "Last" meant that he was responsible for a burdensome generation of investigators, setting the standard and maintaining it as long as he was alive and sane. "Lost" meant that no one knew where the hell he had come from or what he was, including himself. It made sense in a sad way, that his soul didn't know, either, that it looked like a saucer-eyed, vulnerable child with frightening characteristics that were usually more inconvenient than useful. He needed so much help just to survive. If it hadn't been for his handler in his own world, and Belphegor in this one, he had no idea how his life would have turned out. How his soul might have looked different if he'd led a less extraordinary life, but actually learned to fend for himself.
His body looked very thin and helpless, he thought, lying there in bed. He was currently between dimensions; his own identity was so loose and transient to him that finding his way back to his body wasn't quite as automatic as it was for those who had a clear idea of who and what they were.
He blinked his dull, black eyes, contemplating his existence and his purpose. Did he want to return to that body, and that life, understanding that he was as warped as he was?
"HAAAUNTER!!!!"
What was that?
"Haunter. HAUNTER."
Slightly loomed in front of him, looking pissed as hell, and drew his arm back. L's soul flinched as he felt the ghost pokemon's sucker punch connect with his cheek, and less than a second later, he bolted upright in bed, fully conscious and mobile once again. His Drifloon, which had been nudging his head lazily, was dislodged, and Kith and Gamine both snapped out of what appeared to be a light doze to rush over. They looked incredibly relieved and happy, but L's starter, the Haunter that had bitch-slapped his soul out of his existential fugue, was glaring and pointing at a message he'd scrawled on the wall directly in front of L.
YORE WELCUM YOO DUMASS FUK YOO FORE SKARING MEE LIEK THAT
dead_black_eyes and Belphegor of Sloth makesagoodwife Where: An inn in Violet City
When: June 25, several hours after Mammon of Greed wakes up
Summary: L's had a thorough and not altogether welcome look at his own soul. Belphegor's had a hell of a week just trying to take care of her husk-friends and dutifully going after Shedinjas with the rest of Johto. But as weird and wayward as L's soul is, it finds its way back. He, his pokemon, and Belphe all ultimately consider this a positive development.
L's soul wasn't a mirror image of his body's appearance, like many of the others he had encountered during his week in the nightmare world. On the contrary, it had forced him to confront the fact that something about him was seriously off. While he was physically human (he didn't consider this point debatable in the slightest), psychologically, there was something missing in him, or something there that shouldn't have been, that made him... well. Hadn't he put it best to the children, miles away in an orphanage built because of him?
Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans, even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat, even though they've never experienced hunger. They study, even though they have no interest in academics. They seek friendship, even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it, because in truth... I am that monster.
Really, he wasn't surprised that his soul was such a twisted, strange wayward thing. Childish, and hollow, and nameless except for the things he called himself. "L" stood for so many things. Last One. Lost One. Lying Monster. None of them were ever things he had dwelt on, preferring to distance himself from all the broken, human, weak implications. "Last" meant that he was responsible for a burdensome generation of investigators, setting the standard and maintaining it as long as he was alive and sane. "Lost" meant that no one knew where the hell he had come from or what he was, including himself. It made sense in a sad way, that his soul didn't know, either, that it looked like a saucer-eyed, vulnerable child with frightening characteristics that were usually more inconvenient than useful. He needed so much help just to survive. If it hadn't been for his handler in his own world, and Belphegor in this one, he had no idea how his life would have turned out. How his soul might have looked different if he'd led a less extraordinary life, but actually learned to fend for himself.
His body looked very thin and helpless, he thought, lying there in bed. He was currently between dimensions; his own identity was so loose and transient to him that finding his way back to his body wasn't quite as automatic as it was for those who had a clear idea of who and what they were.
He blinked his dull, black eyes, contemplating his existence and his purpose. Did he want to return to that body, and that life, understanding that he was as warped as he was?
"HAAAUNTER!!!!"
What was that?
"Haunter. HAUNTER."
Slightly loomed in front of him, looking pissed as hell, and drew his arm back. L's soul flinched as he felt the ghost pokemon's sucker punch connect with his cheek, and less than a second later, he bolted upright in bed, fully conscious and mobile once again. His Drifloon, which had been nudging his head lazily, was dislodged, and Kith and Gamine both snapped out of what appeared to be a light doze to rush over. They looked incredibly relieved and happy, but L's starter, the Haunter that had bitch-slapped his soul out of his existential fugue, was glaring and pointing at a message he'd scrawled on the wall directly in front of L.
YORE WELCUM YOO DUMASS FUK YOO FORE SKARING MEE LIEK THAT
no subject
It was absolutely unacceptable, as far as she was concerned, to have Beatrice and the others arrive in Violet to find that the situation had not yet been resolved, and she had failed to do what she'd put off joining her master in New Bark to accomplish.
Her elation, therefore, was undisguised when Mammon had finally stirred from her unnatural state just as the shedinja lurking in and around Violet had become impossible to find. After spending a long span of time explaining the last week's happenings to her, and bringing her something to eat/drink, Belphe had finally excused herself to let her younger sister collect the rest of her bearings and check on her other charge.
The iced coffee and bag of sugared donut holes she'd brought with her in anticipation of Ryuzaki having been awake for quite some time while she'd tended Mammon, had been left untouched on the bedside table as she'd arrived to find him in the same dormant state he'd been in for the last several days. Nothing about his condition had changed...there was no indication he had woken for even a short time since last she'd checked him.
And it was very discouraging.
For the better part of an hour, as she sat quietly on the edge of the bed, she mulled carefully over the last several days. She had not been careless...she knew she had not. She had checked anywhere it looked likely a shedinja might be able to fit and had found them in the most unsual places...clinging to the bottomside of stairs, in mailboxes, even nestled in the large, fluorescent letters that made up store signs. If an area was claimed to be clear of them, she checked it herself just to be certain. She had been painfullythorough in not letting a single one of the soul-snatching bugs get past when any one of them might be holding the souls she was seeking.
....which meant it was entirely possible the one that had attacked Ryuzaki simply wasn't in or around the city any longer. How long had it been before the news on how to deal with the problem had been made known...? It was plenty of time for a frightened trainer or resident to have run a few of them out of the area...or attacked them and left them wounded somewhere to drag themselves off to a shrouded corner of the landscape.
Johto was a very big place when you thought about it. Much bigger than Rokkenjima or Ange's boarding school...there was an endless number of trees to hide behind, stones to hide beneath, caves to lurk in....it would take years to search it entirely. And they were years she did not have. Once Beatrice arrived, she would be expected to follow where she was led. Looking for a single wayward shedinja was not only futile, but completely out of the question.
Belphe was not someone who liked the idea of her efforts being useless...or failing to uphold her responsibilities. Fixing him had become her responsibility from the moment she'd decided to come and retrieve him after he'd collapsed.
As the idea had sunk in for her that she would have to leave him, the first friend she had made of her own volition, like this and walk away, her resolve finally cracked, allowing tears of utter frustration to sting her eyes. She steeled herself against them for as long as she was able, until they finally drove her from her perch and into the bathroom to recollect herself.
After days of facing off with L's temperamental haunter about how his trainer was to be cared for and who was going to be the one to do it, she was not incredibly fond of the idea of letting Slightly, or anyone, watch her wallow in her failure.
It was for that reason she was not there to see him wake...but the sound of the sink running could be heard through a closed door.
no subject
"Haunter."
Slightly positioned himself in front of L. Oh. He'd been scrawling again.
THAT STOOPID BITCH GROPD YOO. SHEE GROPD YOO ND SHEE WUZ TOTALEE MOLESSTING YOO WILE YOO WUR SLEEPING I CAWT HUR IN THE AKT.
Belphegor...
He did his best to hop nimbly out of bed, stumbling a bit on legs that hadn't felt the floor under them in a week. His Ninetales was there to support him immediately, along with a new face.
"Gamine?"
"Froslasss..."
He placed a hand on her head. It was enough; though L wasn't really one for sentimental words, that simple gesture told his recently evolved Froslass everything she needed to know about how her trainer approved and supported her decision to evolve.
He made his way to the bathroom, leaning on Kith for support before opening the door. Expecting L to knock was expecting a lot from the socially inept genius.
no subject
When the door opened, she did not immediately look up as she went about the business of wiping her freshly-washed face with one of the hand towels. She'd become fairly used to closed doors not staying that way between Slightly keeping a vigilant eye on her and the others seeking reassurance on their trainer's condition, in case she'd seen something they hadn't.
She heaved a sigh that seemed to fill every cavity of her chest before refolding the towel and putting it back on the rack. Finally, she gazed up at the mirror and whoever it reflected behind her, preparing to tell Kith or Gamine that she had no idea why he hadn't woken.
no subject
L stepped into the bathroom, tilting his head and jumping slightly as he noticed his reflection in the mirror beside Belphegor's. He looked awful, every bit as hungry, disheveled, and off-kilter as he felt, but to someone who had been dealing with a corpselike husk for the last week, the life and awareness in his eyes probably looked pretty damn good.
no subject
As she turned her head to peer over her shoulder, however, it was plain to see it was no trick of the imagination. And hungry, disheveled, and off-kilter was a far sight better than dead to the world. She moved slowly...carefully...as if still half-convinced he was some sort of illusion that might disperse into meaningless fragments at any moment as she approached him.
A hand reached out, settling itself on his shoulder. The feel of flesh and prominent bone under her fingers was real enough. Hopefully he wasn't too unsteady to receive the fierce hug about to be inflicted on him...
"You're all right..." the words were quiet...barely-audible, really, but nonetheless didn't disguise their relief.
no subject
He tilted his head, puzzled, when she reached for him, trying to make sense of her expression. Was she glad to see him, or not? She was touching him carefully, and it made him uneasy... and then without warning, she flung herself at him, putting him off-balance; if he hadn't been standing so close to the wall, he would have doubtless collapsed.
"I'm fine, Belphe, but what happened?"
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"Your soul has been missing for the last week." she began, very plainly. Not flowering it up for him as she stepped past him and back into the bedroom for a moment to retrieve the bag of donut holes from the nightstand and press it into his hands before she continued. Maybe it would be easier to absorb all of it if he weren't starving.
"No one knows where they came from, but shedinjas descended on every city. Lots of people, my sister included, had their souls stolen. They were...you were just a breathing shell.
There was no room at the pokemon center for any more patients...I had to bring you and Mammon back to the inn while the rest of the city and I caught all of the shedinjas, trying to get everyone back who'd been taken."
She paused, waiting to see how that much was received. Her aim wasn't to overload him after a week of barely moving and not thinking...
no subject
MonsterWingsMotherCreaturePeopleDogsChildRedStainOakDoorBakuraChainsHurtRunRunRunMonsterScreamScaredTeaFriendHandsInsectRoseDeadBlackEyes...
He felt like he'd been punched in the gut, doubling over, blacking out for a moment and clutching his head. It was painful in several different ways. There was the splitting, physical pain, of course, but more than that it was the memory of his helplessness and his inhumanity that utterly consumed him for those awful few seconds. It might have gone on longer, but his Kadabra teleported next to him, reached out, and calmed his racing thoughts before anything could cause him undue psychological trauma. Not that it wasn't violent and upsetting, as it was; he leaned against the wall, breathing hard and trembling, trying to look at it objectively. Trying to understand why he had been like that, while others had resembled human beings...
That was annoying. His eyes were leaking, his cheeks were wet, it didn't make sense. He quickly wiped his face with his sleeve, doing his best to disguise a reaction that made him incredibly uneasy.
no subject
Her brow furrowed, a hand straying to the breast pocket of her jacket to find and fumble out a neatly-folded white handkerchief. It was more an accessory to her uniform than meant to be functional, but she stepped forward again nonetheless, reaching out to dab at the dark half-moons under his eyes with the soft linen. She offered no comment on his current state, an inner voice warning it was not something that needed more attention drawn to it than necessary.
"Your team hasn't left your side this entire time." she went on, keeping her voice soft and level...trying to inject an air of calm into the sudden tension gnatting around the small room's environment. "Gamine evolved just to look after you better, she, Kith and Parse took turns watching over you so that you were never unattended.
And Slightly did his part as well."
And by 'did his part' she meant he clung to his trainer like a barnacle and forcefully defended him from anything he deemed inappropriate - which included turning him over, having Kith help her remove him from the bed so she could change the sheets, or even just breathing in a way he didn't like.
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This needed an explanation. Sleeping for a long time wasn't anything to freak the fuck out over. It was only fair to tell Belphe something about the week from his perspective. He reached up for the handkerchief when his eyes had stopped leaking (he would not call it
crying), rolling it between his palms and twisting it to prevent his hands from wandering toward his mouth or tearing compulsively at each other."I remember everything..." he said quietly. "I spent so much of that week just... running for my life, trying not to disappear or get killed. It was terrible, and I was helpless and very, very afraid..."
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"Running from what?" she ventured, reaching behind her blindly with her free hand until her fingers snagged the plastic rim of the toilet's lid and closed it, turning it into a makeshift chair. Sitting him down until he'd fully collected himself did not seem like an entirely bad idea at the moment as she gently encouraged him in that direction.
It brought back memories of trying to soothe Leviathan after the sisters had gotten done whipping her into a tearful froth over being a whiny crybaby (whereupon she would promptly prove all of them right by huddling in the nearest corner and bawling). However, UNlike her older sister's episodes, this entire situation felt like walking on eggshells.
Like he was not simply going to bounce back in a few minutes, bright-eyed and ready for vengeance on whatever had upset him so badly. Like those cracks that had spiderwebbed over his surface just now might allow him to break completely if he were jarred the wrong way. Beatrice had demonstrated again and again how easily humans were beaten down until their minds stopped working completely, but it was not something Belphe had watched up close. Or had happen to someone she cared for.
It was...well...it was frankly pretty damned upsetting.
no subject
He lowered himself, appreciating the timing; his legs felt boneless and weak, and he wasn't sure how much longer they'd be able to support him in his current state. "Everything," he breathed. "There were places, and... other people, but nothing stayed, it was this... amorphous, shifting mess of random dangers and fears..." his eyes wrenched away from Belphegor, fixing at a point exactly 90 degrees away from her, as if just looking at a concerned face was overwhelming. His Kadabra intervened, though, eyes flashing as he guided L's mind back to a less claustrophobic place.
L took a deep, shuddering breath. He wasn't sure what Parse was doing, but it had a calming, focusing influence on his mind, and he felt stronger for it. And tired, actually; even though he'd been sleeping for a week, it had not been a restful sleep. But he hadn't eaten in a week, either, and he was starving and parched.
"Belphegor, I'm hungry..." he said softly, hanging his head, suddenly self-conscious of his terrified reaction to his memories returning.
no subject
At his final statement, her eyes wandered back across the bathroom to the upturned sack of donut holes that laid where he'd dropped them, Wiredrawn still happily sampling those that had tumbled onto the floor. But there still looked to be a good number that were unhurt and still safely within their bag as she leaned over, shooing the couple that were half in and half out to join the others on the floor before rescuing the rest of them. Wiredrawn and whoever else was welcome to the escapees.
"Here..." she said gently, again handing them over to him. "They should still be all right, I'd only gotten them an hour ago."
no subject
He watched, wide-eyed and maybe tearing up a little as Belphe retrieved the remaining ones.
It didn't take him long to notice that he still had some donuts on the floor, though, and the altercation was swiftly forgotten as he returned to happily nomming.
Back in the bathroom, L was standing bent over in front of the sink with his lips pressed tightly against the faucet, gulping water directly from the tap. He raised his head, wiping his mouth on his sleeve as Belphe approached, before carefully reaching out and accepting the donuts with his thumbs and forefingers.
"I can't thank you enough..." Uncertainly, he reached out and gathered her into a brisk, firm, one-armed hug before resuming his seat and immediately inhaling a donut.
no subject
The middle sister's eyes widened as she found herself caught in a half-embrace, taken thoroughly off-guard by it, though she offered no protest to the gesture. A hand alighted between his prominent shoulderblades, offering a token reciprocation (and assistance) as he seated himself and began to eat.
"If you like, I can bring you something from one of the vending machines..." she offered, moving to sit as well as she perched on the edge of the bathtub. Eating, she considered to be a good sign and one she wanted to encourage. Men teetering on the brink of losing their minds most usually didn't have much of an appetite, and it was certainly easier to be reasonable on a full stomach.
Also, if he planned to attack the entire bag of donuts with the same voracity he'd devoured the first, she didn't see it surviving more than a few minutes.
no subject
Except for Slightly, of course, who butted right in and swiped one of the Drifloon's coveted "happy donuts."
The remaining donuts designated for human consumption were, likewise, rapidly disappearing. L hadn't been this hungry in a long time, and no one watching him eat could possibly doubt that. Because teetering on the brink of insanity or not, L needed restful sleep, and he couldn't have that until there was something in his stomach.
"I think that this will be all right, for now... I don't want to overdo it," he replied dully, twisting the empty bag with his long, thin fingers. "It was very thoughtful of you to bring those, but... I think that it would be best if I tried to sleep. Even though it's been days, I'm so tired..."
no subject
"I do think that would be best." she agreed, reaching out to carefully take the warped length of paper that had once been a bag from him and drop it into the small trash bin at the sink's side. Her hand worked it's way into one of his, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she stood, waiting for him to do the same.
"Things will be easier to sort out with a clear head."
no subject
His hands were pretty clammy, but she didn't mean to mind, and that, in itself, was reassuring. Awkwardly, a moment later than probably seemed natural, he squeezed her hand back before finding his feet. They were steadier under him, now that he'd eaten something.
He shuffled toward the bed, nudging Wiredrawn gently aside with his foot before crawling onto the mattress... and not letting go of Belphe's hand.
no subject
It was not entirely unfamiliar territory for her...though bundling into bed with her sisters at night held far less trepidation than the current scenario. Some amount of shifting and shuffling found her nestled at his back, their joined hands resting at one of his shoulders.
"Do you want me to stay, Ryuzaki?" the question was posed. A little late in the game, perhaps, but she still felt she ought to ask. Not that he was exactly the sort who would grin and bear it if he didn't like something, but she would have liked to avoid upsetting him further if possible.
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He curled up in bed, pausing for just a moment to allow Belphe to slip out of her boots. Rather than answer when she asked him if he wanted her to stay, he drew their hands from his shoulder to his chest, essentially wrapping Belphegor's arm around him and holding it there. Hopefully, that answered her question sufficiently, because he couldn't think of a word to say... even a simple "yes" seemed too heavy at the moment.
no subject
Not quite as easy a task as it should have been when places that were meant to be soft jutted with angular protrusions of bone or were taught with stringy muscle. It was garishly apparent even beneath the cover of his clothes and made her brow knit as she rested her forehead between his shoulderblades.
She would stay here for now, but once he was awake, he was going to eat. She would not accept no for an answer on the matter.