route_1065 | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who:

usedtherapy
Where: Ilex Forest
When: 8/20 through 8/26
Summary: WOO HOO CAMPING-TRIP-DINO-HUNT-VACATION-DATE-EXTRAVAGANZA!
Rating: uhh...PG for possible language?
Log:
[To say that John was "looking forward" to his second date with Rose would be a gross understatement. He had barely been able to sleep the night before they left and ended up knocking on Rose's door at five in the morning because he'd finally given up on the notion of sleep entirely. Plus, weren't you supposed to leave early for camping trips?]

[Unsurprisingly, Rose hadn't expected him that early. She'd given him a very bleary look, stepped back into her room to give her clock a bleary look and then asked "...are we leaving 'lready?"]

[Even less surprisingly...she'd fallen right back asleep the minute they had both clambered inside Elliot and gone on their way. But that was okay. Because she had fallen asleep on John's shoulder and he had absolutely no qualms with that at all.]

[And then a few hours later, his excitement wore off and he too fell asleep. Wow, their trip was off to a great start already!]

[Elliot wasn't the fastest pokemon but fortunately, being a ghost, he didn't really need a lot of sleep. So their four day trip ended up taking only two. Once inside the forest, Elliot went back inside his ball for some much needed rest while the two kids shouldered their packs and began walking through the forest, hand-in-hand.]

[Surely this was going to be the best camping-trip-dino-hunt-vacation-date-extravaganza ever! ~~Also possibly the first ever, because seriously, who besides John would come up with something as crazy as this?~~]

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[[Not often. Though still, once the blanket was unfurled, she offered him one of their smaller bags of jerky anyway, as if she hadn't heard him.]] Take it. And then come sit with me. Please?

[[There's also a thermos now set aside as well, and the blanket is simply lying in her lap for now.]]

[He moves over next to her and takes the bag, but makes no effort to open it or do much of anything with it, really. He barely even glances at it. You've got him next to you now, Rose. What's next?]

[[Next the blanket is moved over his shoulders.]] Something's wrong, isn't it? [[After that, the thermos is handed to him.]] Hot chocolate.

[Another shake of the head as he gently pushes the thermos back towards her instead of taking it.] Not thirsty. And I don't know about wrong, but...I guess it's not exactly good? No that's not it either...hell, I don't know.

[[Sighing, she sets it aside.]] You're not exactly happy. What happened? If you don't mind my asking.

[For a moment, he considers simply showing her the message instead of trying to explain. But that...doesn't seem fair to Vriska. But he can't not tell Rose because the whole thing does kind of concern her so...]

[He takes a deep breath.] Apparently, Karkat was right and Vriska... [How to put this?] Vriska has a thing for me.

[[Rose takes a slow, deep breath in response to that, followed by a little smile that's attempting to be reassuring.]]

Well, Karkat does have a certain talent at pointing those sorts things out.

Well no, the only reason he pointed it out was because he was pissed off at me and Dave, but that's beside the point. We're not even going to get into that conversation and I'm not sure why I even mentioned it. [Probably because his thoughts are all over the place right now.]

Anyway, that's why she hung up when you said you were my girlfriend. Which is the truth, so it's fine that you said that. She would have found out eventually, anyway. But...

Mmm, I see. [[Trying to carefully decide on her next words, she remains quiet for a moment.]] And I take it the conversation you had with her was concerning this fact, correct? That she likes you?

Sort of...it was more like I apologized because I didn't know what else to say. [Totally the same thing as talking about the issue, right?] And then she asked me if I wanted to be her moirail.

[[No John, it's not. There's a soft sigh, and then she leans against him a little.]] I see. And oh?

[Well what was he supposed to say?!]

Yeah...

...and what did you say to that?

I told her I would talk to her about it once we got back to Goldenrod. That I needed time to think about it.

And what all have you thought about so far?

[He sighs, leaning against her.] I don't know.

...well, what do you think of it? Or is that part of what you're unsure of?

[Silence. And then eventually, another deep breath and a slow start to speech.] Well...for one thing...I can't help but feel that saying yes would make me a hypocrite. Since I didn't...really like it when you and Karkat were moirails. [Aaaand holding his breath now. It's hard to actually admit that and doing so makes him feel stupid.]

Mmm... [[Well, at least that's answered for her.]] It would make you a hypocrite, yes. I won't lie to you about that. What else?

[Ouch. He knew that was true, but still. Ouch. He pulls the edges of the blanket tighter around his shoulders, as though trying to shield himself.]

Aside from that...there's the fact that I don't really feel that way about her. Or I guess, more accurately, I don't know what that's supposed to feel like. I'm not a troll. And nobody's bothered to give me the full rundown of troll romance but even if they had I still don't think I could actually understand it beyond just simple definitions. And that's not really fair to Vriska. If I say yes, it would only be because I don't want to hurt her feelings. And in a way, that would be worse than rejecting her. She deserves someone who actually gets it and can actually return those feelings. And I can't do that. I don't know if I will ever be able to do that.

I don't want to break her heart anymore than I already have, but it seems like that's inevitable no matter what I do.

[[She nods as she listens, resting her head on his shoulder in thought.]]

Well John, I would be more than happy to explain it for you, if you were willing still to listen and give her a chance. Not now of course, unless you want to now. But if Vriska feels you are moirail material, you likely are already returning the sentiments she's looking for given the nature of the relationship.

Maybe later. I don't think I can sit through that explanation and give it the attention it needs right now.

But it's not really me that she thinks is moirail material. It's future me. Which I guess is technically still me but it's not the right me and it actually makes a difference in this case. Apparently we're some kind of super awesome team in the future. She helps me become stronger and I help her through a hard time and it works, as she put it. But I haven't been through any of that. And the first time she was here, she was from an earlier point in the timeline, closer to mine and she wasn't interested in me in any form from what I could tell. So...

Edited 2011-09-03 23:46 (UTC)

...And who is to say you cannot reach that point now? Future you or not, he is still you, correct? Meaning you have the potential of being the same person she's asking to be her moirail.

[[Boy this was tricky...Here, she's going to tug on that blanket a little. May she have some?]]

[He seems a little hesitant to surrender a corner of his blanket shield at first, but eventually he caves.]

Yeah, I know it's still me but it's a me that's been through a completely different set of circumstances. What if I can't become the John that she's used to because I've been here for seven months instead of doing whatever it was I did back home?

Going into something with that mindset only ensures the expected outcome. [[See what happens when you give her some of the blanket? She curls under it and cuddles with you. This is nice right?]]

You won't know unless you try. When...[[Now she's hesitant about talking of her and Karkat...]]

When Karkat asked me to be his moirail, we'd never met previously. I barely had the gasp of quadrants, moirallegiance included. I still had learning to do, but...he was patient and willing to work with me.

Surely Vriska would do the same?