route_1065 | Keep your secrets in the shadows and you'll be sorry

Entry tags:

Keep your secrets in the shadows and you'll be sorry

Who: Mamoru Takatori and Tot
Where: some park in Goldenrod
When: sometime after this
Summary: Mamoru has a present and a confession for Tot
Rating: Safe for everyone
Log:
There were several reasons Tot was quite happy to be Johto; the number one would be that she and Nagi were together, something he had told her wasn’t yet possible for them at home. However, there were still times she missed Papa and Schrient.

At least here, she wasn’t totally without someone connected to them, Papa’s brother was here as well, and that helped—even if she couldn’t remember Papa ever saying anything about a younger brother. That was fine though, as far as Tot was concerned she had her family here, which was why she agreed to meet Mamoru at the park after he had made it to Goldenrod.

She sat wrapped up in a coat on a bench and watched as her Lopunny Neu ran around playing while they waited for him to arrive.

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A great deal of consideration and planning had gone into the decision to tell Tot about Weiss before she found out another way. It was only a matter of time before something slipped, especially with her already knowing Youji was one of them. Her recognition that they were traveling together had cemented in Mamoru's mind it was better to take the chance while it was there-- and hope in the process to soften the blow by having control over the manner of her discovery.

He'd consulted both Aya and Ken and gotten their agreement (even if reluctantly in Ken's case) to offer a collective confession, and had arranged a relatively quiet and peaceful meeting area with Tot. He knew how he wanted to approach the subject and hoped to offer as much reassurance as he could with that approach that there was no need to fear them. He was as ready as he could be. He only hoped that Tot was as well.

He smiled and waved to her as he spotted her on the bench, a magnificent Rapidash walking beside him and warming the air.

"It's nice to see you again, Tot. Have you been well?"

Tot really hadn’t thought too much about the fact that she’d seen Mamoru and the blond from Weiss together; she’d warned him about Weiss and had gotten some slight promise that he wasn’t going to get hurt, that was all she could really do under the circumstances. However, getting to see that he was okay as he greeted her went farther to settle any doubts she had unconsciously held onto.

Tot returned his smile and nodded in reply to his question, her attention just a little distracted by the flaming horse standing next to him. Another thing she really liked about Johto, the Pokémon weren’t going to end up in experiments like the animals she got to play with at home--even if it was necessary. “How pretty.”

Mamoru's smile warmed as he turned his attention to the object of hers. "Do you like him? He's fully leveled-- the strongest. He runs very fast, and can carry two riders when he travels. He's also useful in caves for light, and in cold weather for warmth. Quite an asset, isn't he?"

By the looks of it, the Rapidash was thoroughly enjoying the praise. He walked to Tot and nosed her cheek. Although his mane and tail were made of fire, it did not burn on contact.

Turning her head, Tot nuzzled into the Rapidash before reaching up to pet his nose. "He's very nice. What's his name?"

Mamoru had had the foresight to tell the Rapidash in advance that there was someone important to him he'd like him to protect for him, so the Pokémon understood this must be that person. In his mind, he had already made the transition and adopted Tot.

"He doesn't have one yet, I'm afraid. I'm not good at thinking of them. But you can give him one. What do you think?"

"Really, Tot can name him?" She looked to Mamoru first to make sure and then back at the Rapidash to think it over.

"How about Akihiko?" Tot thought it was perfect and it would be a rather fitting name considering how brightly his flames burned.

Mamoru nodded to confirm that she really could name him before waiting quietly as she considered the options.

"Akihiko? That's a good name. Okay: Akihiko is it."

After a beat, Mamoru continued, "So, about that present for you..."

Tot was quite happy that he liked the name; it might have been silly, but it made her feel special when someone listened to her.

"Oh, but Tot said you didn't have to give her anything." She shook her head slightly at this, "she just wanted to see you again."

"And I said I wanted to, didn't I? There." And he inclined his head towards Akihiko.

"He's yours, Tot."

There's a look of confusion on her face as Tot glances back and forth between Mamoru and the newly named Rapidash a few times.

"But you said he was an asset; why would you give him to Tot?"

"Well... That's what you're supposed to do for people who are important to you, right?"

She nearly laughed hearing the words she'd told him before repeated. Instead, she turned and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Thank you."

Mamoru wasn't expecting the hug, but he accepted it gracefully. He smiled and rested one hand on the back of her shoulder-- about as close as he could be expected to come to returning the gesture.

"I'm glad you like him. You'll take care of each other, right? And the truth is, he's another way we're connected now. Akihiko belonged to a breeder before me. One of the eggs came to my team. She's beautiful, too, although not as strong as he is yet."

She wouldn't have hugged him if he'd been anyone else; but, her little 'family' was safe enough, as was Nagi, she knew they wouldn't hurt her.

Neu had come over to see what all the fuss was about and Tot reached over to pat the fluffy Lopunny's ears. "Of course, Tot takes good care of all her Pokemon. And especially those that are special."

Mamoru nodded. "I have faith in you."

He moved to the bench and sat on one end, hands coming together in his lap. "Actually... I have a favor to ask as well. Is that all right?"

Realizing this might be important, it usually was when people sat down to talk to her, Tot sat back down. "Yes." Whatever it was she'd try her best.

Mamoru waited until Tot was situated before looking at his hands.

"I understand this might be a strange request, but... could you tell me about my brother?"

"Tot can do that. What do you want to know?" She was more than happy to talk about her Papa if that's all he wanted.

"Anything you remember is fine... All that I know is that he was incredibly smart, and that he specialized in genetics."

That wasn't the complete truth, but it wasn't a complete lie, either. He never had recovered more than bits and pieces of his childhood from the fog of amnesia. And part of him was a little curious-- both to know what he was like, and to know more about how Tot saw him.

"Well, Papa was really nice to Tot. He gave Tot her bunny so she wouldn't be scared any more and he let her help with his work and didn't yell at Tot when she made mistakes. And he never hurt Tot..."

So the bunny was from him. Mamoru held mixed feelings over the positive report. Masafumi had been evil, and to this day Mamoru understood that he'd needed to be stopped somehow. On the other, his shifted priorities to protecting the Takatori family left him confident that he probably would not repeat his past decision given the opportunity. Masafumi was family, and he did in fact have a kind side, even if it was one only shown to a select few. Was confirmation of his humanity validating or that much more heartbreaking?

"I'm sorry."

It wasn't as if she could have told him anything other than what she did, even if her Papa had done bad things nothing he did would ever be as bad as the things others had done. He had taken care of Schrient and they all loved and cared for him in their odd little way.

Mamoru's words of apology confused her. "For what?"

"That you don't have him anymore. It's an expression of condolences." And that might seem confusing too. Masafumi was his brother (cousin, technically, but for the sake of simplicity, better to humor the misconception). How strange for a family member to be offering condolences to someone else?

To continue was both uncomfortable and against his nature, but he had already decided this was the best path for the conversation to travel in leading up to his admission. With that goal in mind, Mamoru pressed onward.

"The truth is, I have almost no memories of my brother. Of any of my family."

"Well, Tot misses Papa and Hel and Shöen and Neu, but she has Nagi and you. And Tot's made other friends here too." It really was okay as far as she was concerned, most of the time she was too busy to think about it.

"Oh...not of anyone?" That was really sad; she didn't remember much of her real family, but she at least had her other family.

"No one," Mamoru confirmed.

"Tot... I want to tell you a few things about the time I was young. About the reason I have no memories. This is something I've never told anyone before." And wouldn't be sharing now if it didn't have an express purpose.

"Is that okay?"

That he would want to tell her something like that was both a little surprising and curious; she wanted to ask him why he didn't have anyone else he could talk with, but that would be rude.

"Okay."

"When I was young, I was taken from my family. Although I was presumed dead, I had managed to escape with someone's help. But somehow, maybe from trauma, all of my memories were blocked out. I couldn't remember who I was, or where I came from. I couldn't remember my family's faces. Nothing.

"And so, for the next several years, with nothing more to go on, I lived a different life, with a different name. I wanted to find my family, but I didn't know who to look for. And they didn't know there was a reason to keep looking. In the meantime, I had school and a job. And I did things in that time that, looking back, I know I wouldn't do now.

"Have you ever felt that way about something?"

While Mamoru talked she tried to sit there and listen, but some of the things he was saying made her feel kind of twitchy and very uncomfortable, not that she understood just why. Mostly it just made her feel really sad.

"Tot's not sure." It's not like anyone ever explained to her that the things Schrient did were bad, or that most people didn't do things like that, she was helping her Papa after all.

"I see. That's all right. The point is... I was a different person. And the actions I took then, under the name Omi Tsukiyono, are in conflict with who I am and what I want now. Omi wanted to protect the entire city. Mamoru Takatori wants only to protect his family... and those close to it." He said as he looked at her.

"Like you."

“Omi…” It’s been several months but something in the back of her memory gets slowly sharper. She knows that name, especially in regards to the blond, when Neu tricked him and Weiss; Omi was the one that fell in the lab, the one with the darts that never really fought her.

Tot stared at him for a moment or two as the little pieces started to click into place. If he was Weiss…had been…is? Is or was, he hurt her Papa. He had said he had done things he wouldn’t do now; was that one of them? But, why would he have in the first place?

“You’re Weiss.” Later she would probably figure out that Nagi knew all along and be very upset with him; for now, she was just sad and confused. Was this some terrible trick they were playing on her?

"...Yes. Omi was Weiss. Mamoru, however, never has been, and never will be." Did Tot understand the difference? Mamoru had the sneaking suspicion it was not being recognized.

"I've told you these things because I think you should know. Weiss does not exist here, and its members, both former and current, have no interest in fighting or hurting you."

Some part of her did understand, some part that recognized in many ways they were a lot alike; but that was also a part that wasn't to keen on letting her remember too much of her own past.

Realizing something was wrong with the girl, Neu returned to her side. Tot slide off the bench to the ground and wrapped her arms around the Lopunny. Maybe he really did mean it, but she was just so hurt by all of this.

"Tot doesn't want to fight, I just want..."

Mamoru let her be. He did not try to comfort, because it was not his right to even attempt it; far better to let Tot's Lopunny see to that. He did not follow her to the ground, respecting her decision to place more distance between them.

"What...?"

She shook her head a few times at first, almost too afraid to even think about it. It was too much to hope for in the first place, as much as she knew both of them wanted to.

Finally she turned to look up at him and asked, "Do you know where Tot is?"

"...I don't. But Nagi-kun and I are looking. I want you to get to see him again."

That made her feel a little better, not that he didn't know but that he was helping Nagi look for her. She promised if she went home, she'd look for him as well and she knew where, or with whom, to look. Not that she wanted to return home anytime soon.

Right now, all she wanted was to return to her room at the hotel and see if Nagi would explain it to her.

Mamoru looked over Tot at Akihiko and nodded indicatively towards her. The Rapidash approached and knelt down beside her, close enough to be touched.

Looking back up to Mamoru, Tot reached over and patted the Rapidash on the muzzle, she hadn't forgot about him.

"Thank you for him. And for helping Nagi." And for not thinking she was too stupid to be told the truth, but she wasn't really sure how to say that.

Mamoru was glad to see a verification that she still accepted Akihiko in spite of what she'd learned about his giver. He hadn't doubted she was a loving caretaker under normal circumstances, but it would have been understandable for her to refuse him after what had surfaced. He nodded solemnly to her and passed Akihiko's empty Pokéball to her hands.

"What I've said doesn't change that you're someone important to me now. I'll help you here, too."

He carefully stood from the bench, stepping around Tot and her Pokémon, although he hesitated from walking away.

"Thank you for listening. And... please don't be angry with Nagi-kun. He made his choice in an effort to protect you. I accept full responsibility for the consequences of this conversation."

Tot knew better than to hold something like that against an animal, they had no choice in the matter most of the time. Everything that had happened, happened before they had even arrived in Johto or knew of Pokemon.

And even if she didn't exactly understand everything she did get that he could have kept the truth from her longer, that went a long way in helping her believe him although it still hurt knowing he was one of the ones responsible for hurting her Papa. "Tot would like that, but...maybe not right now." She was going to need some time to work all of that out.

Tot took the Pokeball and returned Akihiko to it, then stood up. She wasn't really angry with Nagi, just upset he kept the truth from her again; but that would be between the two of them.

"It's too cold out, Tot needs to take Neu inside." It was as good of an excuse as any to try and leave, particularly since the warmth from the Rapidash was now gone, and it didn't look like she was trying to run away as much as she wanted to.

Of course she would need space. Mamoru was fully prepared to give her as much of that as she needed. He nodded once in understanding.

"Please get somewhere warmer. Take care."

Feeling strangely cold even inside his coat, Mamoru turned and walked away.

She watched as he walked off before gathering Neu and heading back to the hotel.

It wasn't as if there was anything either one of them needed to say that wouldn't wait. They weren't going anywhere soon.

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Keep your secrets in the shadows and you'll be sorry

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