The Fourth Grail Wars (OPEN FOR FOURTH WALL)

[ex_cashcow493]

WHO: Saber, Saber, EVERYONE ELSE. Including the possibility of even more Sabers.
WHERE: Lavender City
WHEN: Fourth Wall Weekend!
SUMMARY: What happens when you fuse Carnival Phantasm + Pokemon Stadium? This post.
RATING: PG13 for censored nudity, will add warnings if and when they come up.
LOG:

[ It's a rather dreary day in Lavender City, but what else is new? The same creepy music continues to play in the background as it always has and the NPCs of the town just continue to stand around with blank looks on their face. Wait a second though... was that a Meowth with a video camera? No, that's not right.


( those are definitely not Meowths!! )

When the PokéGear clicks on, there will be what appears to be a mirror image. One is slightly taller and thinner, while the Other has more noticeable attributes. No matter where you are this weekend, this broadcast will permanently be playing on the PokéGear, as well as any television or radios nearby. Sugoi!! Isn't the power of the Fourth Wall so incredible? ]

Welcome everyone to the first annual Holy Grail War hosted right here in Johto! [ The Saber dressed in a blue Luxray costume announces eagerly, her microphone barely steady in her “paw”. ] Normally this type of event would be hosted by a lesser grail and the designated overseer of the Holy Grail War, but since we are lacking, the two of us have taken up this duty with great honor!

Place the camera squarely on me, staff! [ The cats quickly do as they’re ordered... but they do manage to have the mane of Blue Saber’s attire visible. The Roman Emperor herself is dressed as a Charizard, wings and all. ] Mmm, good! We will both be judge, jury, and participants of this wondrous event! Its name is...

[ Clap clap! There’s a bit of hustle and bustle and a large neon sign hangs over them both and in bold, bright colors says: CARNIVAL PHANTASM! Yes, that is an audience clapping... somewhere. Saber grins and looks to her counterpart, and that’s where the camera features them both again. ]

Hm, Carnival Phantasm? That sort of title is fit for a spin-off more than a grand event. [ Saber murmurs loud enough to be picked up by the camera because the technology here is godly, just look at these two in high def as she brings a “paw” to rub the side of her face. ] And these costumes...

Ah, but let us waste no more time with idle chatter. Saber! [ Turning to face her fiery twin, she gives a nod. ] Let us show them an example of the games here!

Hold for a moment! [ She throws her arm out in a flourish... then crosses her arms, a displeased look on her face as she regards their current surroundings. ] These dreary settings are not fit for our games to take place. In fact, why are we here in the first place? This is not acceptable. I shall have to take things into my own hands.

[ Then her red longsword appears in her hands and she goes to swing it a few times while letting out a brief, but loud chant. Once she strikes the ground, the whole area blossoms with colors of red and gold and rose petals briefly rain down on them. With a pleased sound, she retracts her sword and lets it disappear before turning to her counterpart. ]

My Domus Aurea shall suffice, yes? [ There’s something in her voice that suggests it’d be... unwise to answering that incorrectly. ]

Um. [ It takes Saber a moment to adjust to the fact that she’s now stuck in an “enemy servant’s” reality marble. Once it passes though, she gives an enthusiastic nod of the head. ] Yes, this will suit us just fine.

Now onto the example! [ Withdrawing a box out of nowhere with several sticks poking out from a circular hole at the top, she holds it out towards her partner. Because in all honesty, she knows what will happen if she didn’t allow her first pick. ] Please, pick from the lottery our chosen competition!

[ Saber thrusts her hands into the box, and without even stirring it around, she pulls one. Stares at it for a moment. Then she promptly tackles her counterpart to the ground. ]

What is this madness?! [ Twin, why you do this to her? Saber squirms in the arms of the other as she tries to free herself. ] Explain yourself!

We are to wrestle, as the stick dictates! [ Nope. No, you are not gonna get out of her hold. A+ strength for the win, you know. There goes the mane coming off! ] Now will you not participate? I would have my partners to be more spirited than this!

I am certain that there is no such game as ‘wrestle your partner’ in that box! [ Stupid game mechanics, why is her strength only B ranked?! ] Someone must have added their own modifications!

Are you insinuating I would rig our games? That insult demands payment! [ Is that the sound of a zipper coming off. More struggling, too. ] Hrmph. If you would have proof... [ Straddling Arturia right now while she reaches for the stick and shows her exactly what it says: Strip Wrestle. ] I am thoroughly familiar with such a game: we are to strip the other naked to win!

… Strip the other naked … [ Poor Saber seems devastated at the thought as she flails her “paws” about with more energy than before. ] I shall not be defiled in this manner! Off!

Make me! [ There goes the paws. Now she’s trying to tear the Luxray costume off. Wow, that A+ Strength is really helping right now. Have another laugh. ] Hahaha! At this rate, I shall be crowned the victor!

[ There’s no way Saber can settle for that. Once her hands are free of the gloves, she’s quickly going to work on tearing off her twin’s costume as well. After a few tugs and inevitable rips that come with it... the two girls will be entangled in a mess of scraps and thick black bars out of nowhere. ]

Huh, what is this? [ The smaller and much more thinner bar seems to be stuck to the one who previously wore blue, leaving her to poke at it cautiously. ] Some kind of sorcery?

[ Saber looks down at herself. Oh. Oho. She knows what these are, and is thoroughly disappointed at their appearance. Temporarily distracted fromhaving her way with her twin her game, she notices that her bar is a lot bigger and thicker than the other Saber’s. ]

Hah! As if these will stop me! [ She tugs on one corner of the bar, and like ripping off a bandaid, throws it aside... only to have a digital blur replace it. It’s like a huge cloud covering her breasts. She bristles. ] I should have known... the budget the staff have given us did not rate for a higher viewer content. What a bore!

I cannot... I cannot... [ The other Saber is just lost in her pure shock at the scene as her arms quickly cross over to hold her own bar tightly to her. ] We should just... yes, we should allow the games to begin now!

[ After that, the "cats" will disperse off to each section listed in individual threads to record for all to see. You're free to reply with video despite this being in the logs community or participate in any of the nine mini games. The threads don't have to stop there though! Everyone is welcomed to make their own threads with their own games and thread jack galore. It's the Fourth Wall. Play as though it is ❤ ]

Comments

✰✰✰ RUN, RATTATTA, RUN!! ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

RUN, RATTATTA, RUN!!

    ✰ Players dressed up like Rattatta must run an obstacle course.
    ✰ Vehicles, Pokemon, and everything else are permitted. Sort of like another Grand Prix, isn't it?
    ✰ There are no penalties.

✰✰✰ RUN, RATTATTA, RUN!! ✰✰✰

[bersercar]

[CAN HE JUST DRIVE OVER THE OBSTACLE COURSE

BEFORE CONSIDERING THIS MINIGAME BE AWARE THERE IS A GIANT ROBOT CAR HEROIC SERVANT DRESSED UP IN A RATTATA OUTFIT DRIVING OVER THE COURSE

LITERALLY

CONSIDER THIS WELL

ALSO CONSIDER IT IS HONKING THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE WHILE DOING SO]

[rulebreak]

Hah-! Hahahahah!

[Wearing Rattata ears and a tail, Gilgamesh is currently running (flying?!) the course on a gigantic sweet ride.]

Too slow--! You're all too slow to share the same course with the King of Heroes!

✰✰✰ MAGIKARP SPLASH ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

MAGIKARP SPLASH!!

    ✰ Players dressed up like Magikarp must Splash high enough to hit the button at the top of the screen as many times as they can in a specific time period.
    ✰ They can't use Splash? Then they must find another way to hit the button at the top.
    ✰ Except that button is pretty high up there... Geez, how is anyone expected to hit it?

✰✰✰ MAGIKARP SPLASH ✰✰✰

[melodicnocturne]

[Every single part of this event was a complete cinch for him considering his powers had somehow come back. Even though he was in the ridiculous Magikarp suit he still managed to repeatedly launch himself into the air by summoning a geyser of water to shoot himself up and push the button every time. His grin must have been stretching from ear to ear as every burst of water streaming up from the ground had him rocketing up to the target, it was a reckless strategy for sure, but would it win him the first place prize?]

✰✰✰ MAGIKARP SPLASH ✰✰✰

[onceaman]

[Cobra Commander has definitely seen better days. Instead of the mask and annoying laughter, he’s a snake…thing, currently trapped inside a Magikarp costume. Apparently Magikarp costumes come in bizarre snake monster sizes.

And Cobra doesn’t really know how to Splash, so he’s doing some bizarre combination of flailing and slithering while hissing. About to set a high score, he is not.]

[swordedpast]

Don't worry, Saber.

[ He's not sure how he got here--but he is pretty sure that his Saber's honor needs to be defended from the Saber in red. ]

I'll take care of this, so...

[ And he's just going to summon swords to stab the water until it splashes higher and higher. That's definitely efficient.

Cheating hasn't occurred to him yet, okay. He'll figure it out once he figures out he can take off the Magikarp costume. ]

Don't stress yourself out struggling against that woman!

✰✰✰ THUNDERING DYNAMO ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

THUNDERIGN DYNAMO!!

    ✰ Players must charge up enough electricity to light up the bulb Lancer?!
    ✰ No powers? Find a more creative way to charge up the target!

[sapphisms]

[Yeah do you know who kicks ass at this game?

A certain swordswoman wearing barely a battle bikini flinging lightning around, charging it around her sword and letting loose. She's not sure why she's here but she may as well kick back and enjoy herself.]

Aha! Take that, fiends!

✰✰✰ ROCK HARDEN ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

ROCK HARDEN!!

    ✰ Players must use Harden at the right time to prevent being smashed by rocks.
    ✰ ... other ways to avoid getting smashed by flying boulders work just as well!

[croibhristeoir]

I do not understand any of what is going on at this poin--

[BOULDER'D.]

...could I....get some help, please...

✰✰✰ SNORE WAR ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

SNORE WAR!!

    ✰ Players must use Hypnotize or any other method to put the other players to sleep at the right time.
    ✰ We don't really know why there's a pendulum swinging in the middle, but it's shiny enough to be distracting!

[kotrollmine]

[Putting people to sleep, you say? Enjoy the vice of Jouji Nakata as Kotomine simply refuses to shut up. Darkrai floating at his side, he begins to speak with a smirk on his face.]

[He's even managed to replace the background music.]

This world is one valuable to those within it; this is no more than fact. You who dwell in this land seek your own joy and pleasures, as is only the most base of instinctual behavior. And perhaps you may yet attain that which brings you joy, if you have not already reached it. But in doing so, you must ask yourselves; is this Eden for all, or for you alone?

For one to gain, another must lose. Happiness and misery, hope and despair...the world thrives on these in equal amounts. It is a delicate and vital balance, one that can not be disturbed through any means. Yet for some, a contradiction lingers; 'joy' is drawn from others' 'misery' or their 'misery' is drawn from the 'joy' of others. For one to realize their dreams, their enemies must be forced to suffer defeat and fall into despair. The concept of success is brought about by one unafraid to break the hearts and wills of countless others, trailing broken dreams in their wake.

You are able to live in peace because of the pain inflicted on these creatures which you call 'partners'. You praise them as your friends in the same breath used to order them into battle. The love and solidarity you claim to share is no more than a lie, crafted to absolve you from guilt. And the majority of you seem to fight for the sake of the fight itself. You have no cause to champion, no joy in battle other than battle in and of its own merits.

Is that your reason for existence? To strengthen pawns into kings in an eternal power struggle, one individual against the rest of this land? Do you fight in order to establish dominance upon this land, to crush all who stand in defiance? And if so, can you live bearing upon your shoulders the knowledge that your 'partners' suffered uncountable wounds for your glory and fame?

I wonder if you've ever considered it. Do they answer to you out of choice? Or are they unknowing slaves to a world in which they as a race have known nothing else? Yet there is no shepherd to this Exodus, no plagues and no land promised by Arceus for them to be led to. If ever they held hope of a change in the natural order of this world, it has long since faded to naught but the wildest fantasy.

Rejoice, Lavender Town. You may yet attain your goals, if you have the strength to trample the will and dreams of your allies as well as your enemies.

✰✰✰ EKANS HOOP HURL ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

EKANS HOOP HURL!!

    ✰ A simple game of throwing Ekans at Digletts that pop up.
    ✰ It's like whack-a-mole, except Pokestyle!
    ✰ Expect characters and their heads to randomly pop up. They're worth extra points!

[friendyousohard]

[A pony head pops out of one of the holes and looks around in utter confusion.]

How did I... get here?

✰✰✰ DIG, DIG, DIG ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

DIG! DIG! DIG!!

    ✰ Players must dig a hole deeper than other participants in a short amount of time.
    ✰ There may be complications found under the earth.
    ✰ Or treasure. There's treasure buried, right?

✰✰✰ DIG, DIG, DIG ✰✰✰

[maguskiller]

[Boom goes the dynamite. Hope none of the other players were nearby!]

[Kerry likes this game.]

✰✰✰ SHUSHI, GO ROUND ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

SUSHI GO ROUND!!

    ✰ Players must eat as many plates of food as they can in order to rack up a high bill. Who is paying for this?!
    ✰ Some food are from foreign worlds and may have strange side effects...

[embarrassingfates]

[SO HE HAD JUST SEEN HIS SISTER GETTING INTO A BRAWL WITH ANOTHER LOOK-A-LIKE.

WHO CARES THERE'S FOOD HERE.

NOM.]

✰✰✰ CLEFAIRY SAYS ✰✰✰

[ex_cashcow493]

CLEFAIRY SAYS!!

    ✰ Clefairy-senpai is instructing all of the players as though they were her little kouhais. Aw.
    ✰ Except sometimes the instructions she gives might seem unreasonable (such as stab the person on your left)
    ✰ Did she just say destroy the world? Lancer, why did you give Saber such a dangerous Pokémon?!

Re: ✰✰✰ CLEFAIRY SAYS ✰✰✰

[puppy_lancer]

...

[He really does not know what he is doing here or what the fuck is going on.]

action; AVOIDING THE TWO LIKE THE PLAGUE

[impulsives]

.......................Looks like it's the time of the year again.

[YEEAH there might be a dude just. Facepalming.

Away from the mess.

In his maid uniform.

Icon key words relevant.]

[ex_cashcow493]

I will trade you.

[ Pointing to her censor bar and then to his maid uniform. ]

video

[puppy_lancer]

Woah, this is one Holy Grail War that actually looks nice!

[Lancer doesn't know what he's doing here, but the girls are pretty!]

video

[ex_cashcow493]

[ Turning the PokeGear down to the ground so no one can oogle her scale-covered chest. ]

You are kidding, yes?

action;

[bersercar]

[rolls the fuck up

naw there ain't anyone actually obviously controlling it]

action;

[bersercar]

[does a wheelie while firing shots into the air wildly]

Action

[dreamsofahero]

*....so he was going to wonder how on EARTH he found himself here

and what in the world was going on

and why he was suddenly dressed as though he were heading out to the battlefield

.........but really at the moment he's too busy trying to avert his eyes and pretend he never saw that*

[ex_cashcow493]

[ Never fear, Sion. It takes Saber approximately two seconds to be decked out in her armor and vestments once more. Yay magical girl transformation sequence?? ]

I was not expecting you to be here. [ A cough. ] Have you been well?

[ Just going to act as cool as she can. ]

[maybe_a_king]

[Have a Saber in a school uniform.

Who is debating if she should be embarrassed or getting in line for the sushi game because dear God food that isn't instant!]

[Action]

[forcefateshand]

[A low, amused rumble of a laugh is the only warning before a huge purple man with wings and horns (DEMON!) dives down to the ground, landing next to the two of them and clapping.]

What a spirited competition, Saber. It would be enough to tempt me into joining if it weren't for one minor factor.

[ex_cashcow493]

Hoh, and what is this minor factor? [ Suddenly right there in his face... or as much of his face as a shorty can get. Dang Illidan, why so tall? ]

Well? What is it?

action

[usedthemonkey]

[In some kind of cartoonish blur, Johnny Bravo was there in the audience the moment clothes started coming off ladies.]WOAH, MOMMA!
[Well, you had Johnny at strip wrestling.Cue him spitting out his drink into someone's face when he realizes blue!saber is a chick.]

HOLY AEROSMITH! THAT DUDE WAS A CHICK THE ENTIRE TIME!

[ex_cashcow493]

... A bird? [ Because she doesn't quite catch your slang, Johnny. Isn't it sad? ]

AU!Lina Inverse, Action

[banditkiller]

*This redheaded, flat-chested girl off to one side is just staring at this scene so, so hard. And both Sabers can tell she's a Caster from another world's Grail War.*

Okay, I knew that Nero had her issues, but Arturia being this crazy?

What did Xellos do to me this time?

Re: AU!Lina Inverse, Action

[puppy_lancer]

Huh, another participant.

[Lancer wonders if this girl is gonna be fighting the old-fashioned way.]

le action

[manlypassion]

... I've missed some kind of massive character development here if this is what the two of you have fallen to, haven't I?

[riastrad_ridire]

Is 'character development' code for 'sudden inexplicable insanity'?

[action]

[riastrad_ridire]

OKAY, THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT!

I've been shocked, crushed, run over, shot at, and beaten up by a Clefairy and I just have one thing I wanna know!

AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN SANE MAN IN THIS STUPID WORLD?!?!

[action]

[eatsyouout]

YES!!

[Brb running away after this, CAN'T CATCH HIM LANCERRRRR]

[action]

[rulebreak]

[What's that?]

[Look, up there! On top of Lavender Tower, it's...]



An entertaining phantasmal carnival, to be sure. But I, the King of Heroes, take offense to the lack of a personal invitation begging my esteemed presence! You should be pleading for me to grace your little games; were Saber not responsible for such a thing, I might not lower myself to this at all!

And what a shame that would be, to have a competition with no Gilgamesh to declare his victory!

[ex_cashcow493]

[ How did he get all the way up there? Gilgamesh, seriously quit glitching the game... ]

Ah, you were not invited to this spin off. [ Saber calmly informs him. ] Something about how your very presence would lower the ratings due to shippers.

... Although I suppose a ship or two would not be that bad.