superordinary: (pic#6036104)
MAKOTO NAEGI < 苗木誠 > ([personal profile] superordinary) wrote in [community profile] route_10652013-07-27 10:28 pm

insert generic song lyrics here.

Who: Makoto Naegi ([personal profile] superordinary) and Kiyotaka Ishimaru ([personal profile] ardent)
Where: An inn in Violet
When: July 25th.
Summary: The endgame spoiler bomb has been dropped by Asahina. Naegi decides to talk with someone about it.
Rating: PG-13?
Log:



[ Three days later, and Naegi has barely started to digest all the things Asahina told him. It's a lot to absorb. There's the relief, the immense relief in knowing that he wasn't going to die alone in the depths of the garbage room should Johto ever decide to show him the door, and that he and the other five would end the school of mutual killing in the final trial. No more murders, no more being the playthings in Junko Enoshima's sick despair games.

And then there's the gap in his memory and, well, everything else. He's lost hours of sleep to staring at the photography of forgotten days and trying so hard to make something resurface. The smallest memory would do; a school festival, Togami crushing his ego in a single sentence on their way to class, anything. But all Naegi gets for his efforts is the faint, lingering nostalgia. Were the memories simply locked away and he only needed the key to unlock them, or... were they gone for good? What had she done to his brain to cut out those specific years?

Naegi doesn't know, and it bothers him. He later decides that he needs to talk to someone about it. Ishimaru had said he'd listen if there's something he wanted to talk about, and he is going to take him up on that offer.

It's still early in the day, barely past noon, when Naegi locks the door to his room and heads downstairs to the floor where Ishimaru's room is. They both need to talk about this, he thinks. This isn't something they should deal with alone; they're all in the same amnesia boat. ]


Ishimaru-kun, please open up! [ He knocks on the door with more force than intended, his voice louder than usual. ]
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-27 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ishimaru has been trying to remain upbeat for the last handful of days; after all, Asahina is here now, and he's finally received answers - everything is over back in the school, and it ended before everyone else had ended each other. There's a definite sense of relief in that, in knowing that some of them had gotten out; there's a sort of hope to it. It's the first he's felt in regards to their situation, and he fully intends to embrace it, as much as he's able.

He'd taken to spending more time with his brother, when his schedule allowed; they didn't discuss it much between themselves, and if anything Ishimaru was content to discuss just about anything but. It was a lot to take in, and perhaps more pressingly, there was nothing to be done about any of it; for now, he was content to wait for Asahina to join them, to see her properly.

It was almost like none of it was real until he saw his classmates in person; the feelings would likely hit him then. For now, however, there's still work to be done and...an alarming amount of displeased Pokémon out there, and he's in the process of looking out the window at the, uh, swarm down there and being grateful that he was scheduled for early-morning when the knocking on the door comes.

Something cold jolts through him when it registers, and he's at the door immediately; he's not sure if this is urgent or not, but it sounds as though it definitely might be.]


Naegi-kun? Is everything all right?
ardent: (Is an art that's hard to teach)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-27 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Asahina-kun...yes. Yes, she -

[He cuts himself off then, shaking his head a bit; it's more to clear it than to indicate a negative answer to anything, however.]

My brother isn't here for the time being, I should be alone for a while; come inside and we can discuss it, then!
ardent: (And turning all against one)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-27 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ishimaru doesn't move to sit down anywhere, instead standing near the small table and overhanging lamp that seemed to be hotel-room standard around here. The usual tension to his posture clearly isn't going anywhere anytime soon; the fact is that it...stings a bit, to think about it for very long - not that it's over, because that's always a pleasant thought, but it's the fact that so many of them had to die before it happened that cuts at him.

He pushes that aside for the time being, however; that isn't something he should discuss. Not now, anyway.]


Likewise - and it was good to hear that several people were able to escape, at that!

[He hesitates briefly, twitching a bit before he continues.]

I didn't want harm to befall any of you, of course, but given what you'd told me about your situation before, I...I was particularly relieved to hear that you survived, Naegi-kun.
ardent: (It was really only you)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-28 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
It's better that we can't fathom that sort of thing; it would say a lot more and a lot worse about us if we could, wouldn't it?

[While he doesn't join him in sitting on the bed, he does close a bit of the proximity between them, reaching out and setting a hand down on Naegi's shoulder; his touch is firm, intended to be reassuring, though he still has next to no idea what he's doing.]

Nothing like that can happen here, though, and it's finally over back home - it's something we can recover from.
ardent: (Is an art that's hard to teach)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-28 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's the spirit, Naegi; Ishimaru's grip tightens momentarily, squeezing Naegi's shoulder a bit before he allows his hand to slip back down to his side.]

And if there's anything in particular you need from me, you know I'll do what I can! We have each other here, in ways we didn't back in the school - it's going to be difficult, but I think we'll be all right.
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-29 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you really think it would be better if we could remember? Knowing what happened in the end - isn't it preferable that we can't?

[There's nothing pointed or sarcastic in the question; it's entirely genuine. It's something he's considered himself since Asahina's arrival; it's also something he's not sure he can answer.]
ardent: (Is an art that's hard to teach)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
I...I see.

[And he does, in some ways. At the very least, he can see where that would be a priority, as it's an understandable priority to have; he'd likely want the same thing, in Naegi's position - to know what plans had been made, to know what could be salvaged, to make sure that those he cared about were all right. But the fact is that he isn't in Naegi's position, and as such it's a bit awkward; he's never been particularly close to his family (save for, perhaps, his grandfather, but the days he had felt close to Toranosuke had been overshadowed by a lot of anger and resentment and quite frankly a lot of hurt toward the end, and it was a completely moot point now besides), and any plans that he may have set aside for his future effectively don't matter.

It's...strange, to discuss the future with someone when he knows he doesn't have one anymore; again, however, he's determined to shake it off, at least for the time being.]


Well, it would be difficult to fix it, since we don't know exactly what was done...

[Hm.]

Some of the animals here can read minds, however; it's possible something like that might be useful, isn't it?
ardent: (Another clever word)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
I have two of them, and a third that's taking a similar route - it's a bit unsettling at first, but nowhere as unpleasant as one might think!

Some of them also are rather good at dealing with nightmares, which has proven useful, if nothing else!
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
I...

[For a moment, Ishimaru just looks at him strangely in response to the question, though it's not due to anything that Naegi has done wrong; he's had a lot to think about for the last...month or so, really, what with everything that's been happening, but he hasn't really discussed it with anyone. In a way, he's actually finding himself relieved that Naegi is asking; it's an unfamiliar feeling, wanting to discuss this with someone, but if it's really all right...]

...I know I said I wouldn't trouble you further with discussions of what happened, Naegi-kun, but there are a few things I need to ask you about, whenever such a thing would be possible.
ardent: (And now you steal away)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
One of my questions deals with my brother - he...mentioned something to me that's been troubling me. Something about losing control past a certain point; he'll have violent incidents without realizing what he's doing until after the fact.

[He hesitates for a moment; the last thing he wants to hear is that whatever is set to happen the night after he was brought to Johto may have been premeditated, but he needs to eliminate the possibility.]

I already know that he was executed and whom he killed, but...is that what happened with Fujisaki-kun...?
ardent: (And turning all against one)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[He actually worked that one out through simple logic; three dead people per photo, Fujisaki and Oowada in the photo on the third floor, no logical way that Fujisaki could have killed anyone.

Simple. And again, much easier if you think of them as facts to be manipulated and not dead kids.

He folds his arms tightly across his chest, his posture tightening slightly as he tips his head up; now that it's started, might as well keep going.]


I'm guessing I voted to have him executed, then.
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
I...?

[He falters then, clearly and visibly, and it seems to take him a moment to try to find words; he obviously hadn't taken punishment for refusing to vote entirely, judging from what he'd heard, so that could only mean that he'd voted incorrectly. Right?

For a moment he's deeply, deeply relieved with the knowledge that he didn't condemn his brother to death; it isn't long before the realization of how sick that is kicks in. Obviously the voting was based on a majority vote; he hadn't known that until just now, however, and obviously, he didn't know that back in the school, either. The implication of exactly how close he'd come to possibly killing everyone isn't lost on him; for a moment his resolve wavers hard before he seems to force himself to recover at least somewhat.

His words are shaky, however; he needs to make himself keep going, otherwise he's concerned he'll back out, but he's clearly not very comfortable with it.]


...I need to know what happened after that. About...about Ishida, and what happened when I died.

As much as you can; d-don't leave things out.
ardent: (And turning all against one)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
[He hesitates for a moment; takes a deep breath. Fidgets a little, eventually folding his arms again.

Then he nods, the gesture resolute.]


I'm sure!
ardent: (I'm sorry that you never made it)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
...I think I've seen what you're talking about before. That sort of reaction, I mean.

[Whatever he had been preparing to say, it certainly wasn't that, but it feels right once it's out there. It isn't exactly the same, but the the pattern of someone not being themselves anymore - no longer speaking and not seeming to sleep, needing to be cared for instead of the one caring for so many others, becoming some sort of shell, so different to what they once were - Ishimaru recognizes it, of course he does; he'd seen it himself for years, after his grandfather had fallen to ruin. It had been difficult to watch, especially since he had been a bit too young to understand when it had first happened, and he had never quite forgiven his grandfather for it; here, now, he still can't quite understand what would make someone lock up like that...though it's also true that he can't imagine losing Oowada like that, period, and the knowledge of what he had done to Fujisaki hadn't come gradually - if it'd come out at the trial, it would have been all at once, wouldn't it? So there wouldn't have been any time to come to terms with it, it would have just come out and then there would have been an execution and -

He's suddenly reminded of the few, brief moments when he's...locked up a bit here, when he's had to deal with something so jarring or painful that he'd simply stopped feeling anything after a while, and how badly that had freaked him out; if it's anything like that, he can't imagine feeling that way for more than several seconds at a time, much less for days. The idea is also upsetting on some visceral level that he doesn't understand or even begin to put into words; he decides that it's not important for now, that he can try to sort through his thoughts on it after Naegi is done telling him what happened.

He moves to sit next to Naegi on the bed, hands down at his sides and pressed firmly against the mattress, fingers curling tightly around the corners of it and digging into the fabric of the duvet while he steels himself; from what he's heard and been able to piece together, this isn't even anywhere near the worst of it.]


But we can discuss that later; keep going?
ardent: (And now you steal away)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[...well, if Alter Ego resembled Fujisaki that much, then he can see why he may have thought it was some sort of way to speak to Fujisaki even after death, especially if he wasn't exactly...mentally present.

He keeps his attention focused somewhere on the wall across the room; eye contact clearly isn't going to be happening for the time being.]


My brother said he saw Ishida here once - during that weekend when everything was so strange for everyone. From the sound of it, he's very aggressive and profane, and he was insisting that he was the result of some sort of spiritual fusion. But that doesn't even make sense! I don't know why I would believe such a thing, unless I'd -

[He freezes up before he can finish, however; there's really only one explanation for this, isn't there, and it's so laughably simple that it takes him a moment to get his head around it, to really reaffirm to himself that that's really what it comes down to.]

...so what you're telling me is that I went insane. Is that right?
ardent: (Default)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[He flinches a little at that first bit; he hadn't known Naegi nearly as well back in the school, not like he does now, but the idea of treating him poorly still doesn't sit well with him. Really, it's a wonder that Naegi is still willing to talk to him after something like - ]

...Money?

[...and then that hits, and Ishimaru is suddenly on his feet again.

Really?

Really?]


Why would he think any of us would kill for such a shallow reason?! Especially after seeing five of our classmates die! That...that's repulsive! None of us would possibly be that self-centered - it's insulting to even think to try to use something like that!!
ardent: (Now dance fucker dance)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-30 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[The noise that gets out of him is brief and choked-off; Ishimaru is struck again by the same thought that'd hit him when Asahina had given him the list of survivors and he'd worked out from that who'd died. That Celes had been smart, that she'd seemed to know what she was doing. If anyone had a good chance of surviving, he would have thought it'd have been her. To know she'd thrown it away over something like that...]

Celes-kun...

[He can feel himself starting to shake, badly; he's quick to form fists to try to control it, to try to get himself to stop. He's honestly not sure if he's angry with her or disappointed; either way, it's making his chest ache.]

She...she could have had all the money she wanted if she'd just held on a bit longer - if we'd kept working together as we had been, eventually there would have been some way and...

[He's not sure when the tears started, but he's suddenly very aware that they have, and he doesn't do anything to try to conceal them.]

...I may not have found her...talent to be worthy of respect, not at first, but she had so much potential, so much more than that, and if she'd just...!

[He has to force himself to stop, however; the tears themselves aren't stopping and neither is the shaking, but at least the yelling has.]

...keep going. Just...keep going.
ardent: (Nice work you did)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-31 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Ishimaru doesn't look away from Naegi, still doing nothing to conceal the tears; the flow seems to stem itself a bit eventually, but it's in favor of cold shock flowing through his system. He twitches rather sharply, his left hand fluttering a bit at his side while he takes it in; it isn't long before he's brought it up to his face, clamping it down over his mouth, and he isn't sure whether it's to keep himself from making some sort of noise or to discourage himself from being sick on the spot.

Whatever it is that it's supposed to accomplish, however, it seems to work for the time being; he closes his eyes and just takes a moment to breathe. Tries to get himself to focus. He finally manages to lower his hand after a moment; his voice is halting and jagged when he forces himself to say something.]


N-No one should have died for that motive in the first place...that...that much is obvious, but to kill two people for it...

[His words are picking up speed again as he speaks; if he's aware of it he doesn't seem to care.]

I don't understand. I don't understand - what could possibly drive someone to act that way, why would she even want to form an arrangement like that in the first place, I...

[His voice catches hard in his chest; the crying has started up again in full force, and he's brought his hands up near his face but he isn't exactly covering it, either, he just doesn't know what else to do with himself.

It's not his death that's upsetting him, really; it's the senselessness of it all.]


I-I don't...why would she want me to die that badly?

[It's not a fair question and he knows it; the selfishness of it will hit him later, and he'll probably hate himself for it. But for the time being it's what he has; he just...needs to cry it out for a while...]
ardent: (And now you steal away)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-31 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[The touch at his shoulder does startle him a bit, though it's not enough to get him to try to pull away or discourage it any; he does flinch a little, but it's reasonably contained. It takes him a while to calm down; it's not a terribly comfortable while, because when Ishimaru cries he cries, but Naegi's attempt at comforting there actually does manage to go a long way toward settling him, or at least get him to a point where he can start trying to take swipes at his eyes. The gesture is harsh and more than a bit angry, though it's a little difficult to say at what, but eventually he's at least calmed down enough to make an attempt at coherency.]

That's...ah, all of this isn't very fair of me, is it...

[He's clearly trying to force his tone back into something that can be considered normal; his attempts are somewhat undermined by the way his voice cracks a little at the end of it, and by the fact that he needs to have another go at his eyes with the heel of his hand before he can continue.]

It's been troubling me for...some time now, not being sure what had happened...I do appreciate you telling me, Naegi-kun.

[He hesitates for a moment; steels himself again.]

...How...did he do it, was it at least quick...
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-31 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ishimaru's eyes widen a bit as it hits, though he's honestly more bothered by Naegi's reaction than what he ends up saying - clearly that was another of those things that you just don't ask people, though he can't exactly work out why; he finds the words themselves to be almost comforting in an incredibly surreal sort of way. Maybe it's in how he was most likely unconscious when he died - meaning that, as Naegi had said, he wouldn't have been aware of any pain; with what he's been given to work with, the definite fact that he's going to die, isn't the knowledge that his last few minutes had been spent free of pain the best he can ask for?

But there's something else there as well; he isn't sure how to describe it, other than the simple awareness that things might actually be okay now. It takes him a moment to pinpoint why; some vague, distant part of him is aware that it's probably not a good thing, but for now, it's what he has.

He reaches across his body, placing his hand over Naegi's own; he really does appreciate the comfort, if nothing else, and for the time being the tears have stopped entirely.]


As I've said before, Naegi-kun, this must be troublesome for you - and I won't deny that all of this...it hurts.

[...]

Quite a lot, actually.

[He shakes his head, however, as though trying to clear it.]

But as difficult as it is to hear all of it...knowing so plainly what's going to happen is almost a relief, in a way. As though there's nothing to be afraid of anymore.

I think it'll be okay.

[His grip tightens a bit around Naegi's fingers as he says it; despite his wording, that last bit is almost a question - seeking verification rather than offering reassurance.]
ardent: (And as you step back into line)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-07-31 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[O-Oh.

Ishimaru's eyes widen at that; it's not as though he's completely unfamiliar with that sort of sentiment, because he's used to aiming it at his classmates on a regular basis. But it's something else entirely to hear such a thing himself, and it strikes him so deeply that for a moment he's tempted to cry again.

But he doesn't; instead he just hesitates a bit before deciding that even though he's still not terribly comfortable with just reaching out and touching people there's quite a lot of contact going on already, and that was kind of legitimately one of the most touching things anyone has ever said to him and as such a bit more contact won't hurt anyone and before he can talk himself out of it, he's pulling Naegi forward to embrace him, his grip tight.

...this would be a lot easier if Naegi weren't literally half a foot shorter than him, but as it stands he'll manage.]
ardent: (Is an art that's hard to teach)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-08-01 02:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, if Ishimaru notices how long it takes Naegi to reciprocate, then at the very least he doesn't seem to mind; as it stands, it's one of those hugs that lasts about three seconds too long to be comfortable, and Ishimaru's never really been a terribly huggy person to begin with so there's a definite air of not being sure what he should be doing, physically. But he does let go eventually, looking far calmer as he steps back.]

You're far too good to me, Naegi-kun; I...I can't possibly express how much I appreciate it!

[...]

I just have one more question about...something Asahina-kun said, if you would be willing to answer it.
ardent: (I'm sorry that you never made it)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-08-01 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Honestly, it would be a bit more alarming if Naegi was enthused about it; Ishimaru presses ahead regardless. It's the last thing he needs to know, really; he can be...not okay or satisfied with what happened afterwards, but at least he'll be placated a bit.]

Asahina-kun mentioned the names of those that survived; Oogami-kun wasn't among them. What...what happened to her?
ardent: (And now you steal away)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-08-02 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I...I see.

[That...it hurts to hear it, and it's difficult to ensure that he keeps his composure; he manages...somehow, however, though he finds it difficult to maintain eye contact with Naegi even after he's finished speaking.]

Oogami-kun is a very noble person; that's why I had to ask you about what happened, overall. As I said, Asahina-kun told me about who...who survives, and I was able to work out who didn't, based on that; I couldn't imagine Oogami-kun killing anyone, but the numbers weren't working out properly.
ardent: (Another clever word)

[personal profile] ardent 2013-08-04 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
[Ishimaru tips his head a bit at that, as though trying to make sense of it; the noise he makes eventually is somewhere between a sigh and a laugh - it's light and almost relieved-sounding, and even though his expression retains most of the usual severity, he seems to have calmed down exponentially.]

It's impossible to describe how glad I am to know that, Naegi-kun; I told Asahina-kun this as well, but...I'm very proud of all of you.