route_1065 | Everything we've loved has turned to stone

Entry tags:

Everything we've loved has turned to stone

Who: "Alice White"/Parker (

nostabbing); Kiyotaka Ishimaru (

ardent); Mondo Oowada (

diamondo)
Where: Route 36, en route to Goldenrod City
When: The evening of 8/21
Summary: What with so many new arrivals from Hope's Peak Academy, telling Alice what actually happened in the school is becoming a necessity, not an option. Contains spoilers for Dangan Ronpa.
Rating: Starting it at PG-13 due to swearing and discussion of dead teenagers; will adjust if necessary!
Log:

[They'd discussed it after they'd landed for the night.

The idea of going to pick up Celes was an uncomfortable one all around, but one that Ishimaru deemed completely necessary for his own well-being; he still wasn't sure how he should feel toward her in general, but for now he was doing a decent job of pushing through it. However, he couldn't trust her to not say something in front of Alice; even if it wasn't anything completely damning, she might say enough to make Alice ask questions that neither of them were prepared for. Just the same, he would have been willing to ask Celes to just remain quiet and actually pretend to be a decent person for two days and spend the next 48 hours running on sheer optimism alone if it weren't for Hagakure and Kuwata showing up.

Kuwata was angry beyond belief, something Ishimaru had inadvertantly not helped with (and in all honesty, he's still not sure what he did; he'll likely spend some time thinking on it, because that was...bad and he knows it, he's just not sure how to fix it and Kuwata is being stubborn as hell about answering his phone) but just the same couldn't fully blame him for; Hagakure meant well but tended to run his mouth without thinking about the consequences. The chances of someone saying something around Alice was suddenly much higher, then, if for no better reason than there were so many of them - she could overhear them talking or stumble into a sensitive topic conversationally (as she had with Naegi some time ago, apparently) - and in the end Ishimaru had pulled Oowada over and they'd decided that something needed to be said.

Of course, being the masters of conversational planning and general foresight that they are, they've only hashed out the most basic of guidelines by the time they go find her; there are some things that are Definitely Off-Limits, but the rest...they'll see how it goes. Ishimaru is less keyed-up than he was yesterday; it's hard to tell whether that's because he's genuinely calmed down or he's managed to overstimulate himself to the point of not feeling anything anymore - he seems to have spent the last damn he had to give on that fight with Kuwata and so he's been pretty comfortably numb for the better part of the day, which is a little confusing but not something he's going to question too much.]

Alice-san? We'd like to talk to you about something, if you have a moment - it's important.

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[Mondo tries not to laugh. He really does! But he fails pretty spectacularly.]

Yeah, that's probably the best way to put it!

[The laughter dies down quickly enough though, and Mondo glances down at the ground so his hair is effectively blocking his expression.]

There's... there's something else I gotta tell you. I mean, it might not come up at all but... it doesn't feel right keeping it from you. It's about the school, and again, I'd rather you keep this between us, alright?

[...This sure is a lot of secret sharing, um.

...

It's...actually making her feel a little weird, a bit, given the whole...they still think her name is Alice-san...thing.]

Did you—

[AND SHE ALMOST SAYS "kill somebody" (because really, that's the logical thing to assume with a lead-in like that, right), but then the brain-to-mouth filter abruptly SLAMS on the brakes and after a moment of uncertainty and vague mouth motions...]

...cut...classes?

[#SAVED IT.]

[wow

w o w

that was elegant, Alice...]

Well, yeah-- Look, that isn't the point!

[At least that's got him looking at her for a moment! Albeit he's staring at her like she's grown a second head, but you know. Progress!]

No, I... I've got this... this thing where I black out when I get really angry. It usually happens when people talk about strength and shit. I dunno. Anyway, when I black out, I'm not really aware of what I'm doing. Or well, at the time I am, but I don't remember it, I guess. Point is, that happened in the school.

[He glances back down at the fire, staring intently at that and trying to put some distance between himself and his next words.]

I haven't experienced it yet, but it happens within like, twelve fucking hours of me returning. So if I ever go home I'll--

[He cuts himself off, winces, and tries again.]

I attacked Fujisaki. I guess something was said and it caused me to snap.

Train, train, train, fucking train, get stronger.

[She voices the words a bit parrotlike, which is largely because they're not hers; she's reciting them verbatim from the list of his she remembers seeing, back when he had his to-do list and they talked about girlfriends.

Maybe that explains the bruises, too.

Except that then, "Fujisaki" registers — tiny, petite, snap-her-in-half Fujisaki who got the pink phone charm she'd made, and Mondo is a big guy, and size admittedly isn't everything but there's no doubt he's a hitter and she isn't, and then all of a sudden she's remembering Ishimaru's explanation about how the school worked and what people had to do and this must be what it's like to be Nate, because if Mondo attacked Fujisaki then Fujisaki probably died, and that means the only way Ishimaru can still be alive is if Mondo isn't, and like dominoes all the little pieces are tumbling into place and oh.

...

And she just. Stalls out.

Just for a minute.

But that minute is probably long enough.]

[Ishimaru flinches sharply at those words she's rattling off, and for a moment he's tempted to snap at her, to tell her to stop - but then something seems to click and he isn't sure what it is, but it's obvious that something just went wrong in her head and that sort of stalling-out...he recognizes it.

He shifts abruptly, reaching out as though tempted to touch her but stopping before he makes any contact, his hand hovering awkwardly over her arm; he glances over at Mondo, knowing he'll probably want an explanation for what happened, and he's quick to toss one out there - ]

It's fine that you told her, but it's a lot, just...

[He draws his attention back to her, unsure of how to finish that.]

...Alice-san. Are you all right?

Edited (VERBS) 2013-08-22 03:52 (UTC)

[Mondo nods at the words, but he doesn't give any sort of verbal reply. Ishimaru is quick to figure out what's wrong, which is good, because Mondo was beginning to question if he had just let Alice down horribly. Maybe he has. It feels like he has. He's started to look up to her as a sort of big sister figure, and letting down his brother is the worst possible thing he could think of, so of course that's what his mind defaults to.

But this isn't about him and he knows it. He forces himself to look up, expression concerned.]

I... yeah, I'm sorry.

[He would have been better off not saying anything.]

[It registers, sort of, that they're talking (and probably talking to her), but at the moment Parker's mind is fixated on turning over and over the conundrum and implications of someone she's talking to being dead, and it's not even emotion that's distracting her, so much; it's tunnel vision, processing just this one concept because no amount of life experience or grifter training has ever prepared her for something like this.

(Well, except for that time when Sophie faked her death and they all had to pretend that she was dead without really being dead, but that's really not the same thing at all.)

Sophie. What would Sophie do? Sophie would know the right words to say...maybe. Eliot would...understand. Nate would come up with a plan, or he'd hit the bottle and drink himself into a stupor.

...what would Hardison do...?

She looks up, and really looks at Mondo, like she's trying to see something that she knows must be there, like frowning at a foreign language and trying to make sense of the words...and then gradually extends one hand, hesitant and tentative with a lot of falters along the way, like trying to pet a wary cat.

Hardison...would want him to know it was okay. Right?]

Hey.

[It is quite possibly the most awkward thing in the world, but god bless her, she's trying — and the angle of her arms suggests that she'd shift over to hug him now, if he'd let her.]

[Mondo doesn't hesitate. He surges forward to pull her into a tight hug and before he really realizes it, he's shaking and about three seconds from breaking down in tears. At least he's not wearing his eyeliner today, but god he was hoping he wouldn't get his eyes wet in this conversation.]

I'm sorry... I'm so fucking sorry...

[He's perfectly content to repeat himself over and over again while he just clings to her.]

[It's awkward as hell, there's no denying that; Parker is not the best at hugging people by any means, and there's a certain amount of WHAT DO I DO WITH MY ARMS and THIS SURE IS A PERSON ALL RIGHT involved. But there's something about Mondo, the way he's been filed away in her perceptions (kid, brother, delinquent, hitter), that's reminding her in an almost painful way that the people she's come to call her family, they're all bad people, too — thieves, delinquents, maybe even killers themselves. Eliot doesn't talk about that, but that doesn't mean they don't speculate.

Eliot's her family. So is Ishimaru. So is Mondo.

And she remembers when she was freaked and alone and crying — they were there. They showed up. Just like she showed up for Archie. Just like they showed up for her again when she was caught. That's what family does.

Family, she decides quietly, doesn't judge.]

Are you okay?

[There are probably better words, since the question she's trying to ask doesn't really have anything to do with whether he's okay or not, but holding on and letting him cling will probably have to do as far as getting across what she's really after.

She doesn't hate him, and she's pretty sure that's what he's afraid of. Hopefully she can find a way to say that, too.]

[The fact that she's letting him cling to her does speak volumes, even when she can't. He's getting used to dealing with Ishimaru and he knows that sometimes the words just don't happen. He figures this is one of those times for Alice. He's okay with that.]

Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I guess I'm still processing it.

[He doubts he'll ever be able to talk about this without breaking horribly, but then again, if he could, wouldn't that mean that he didn't care about it? Well, something like that anyway. He eventually loosens his death-grip on Alice, but he doesn't let go of her entirely. If there's anything awkward about this hug, Mondo certainly doesn't feel it.]

...Thanks. For, y'know, not ditching or anything.

[She's quiet, then, just holding him and letting him define the other parameters of it from there, and suddenly it occurs to her that in the midst of this talk, all this sharing of secrets, saying something about her name now just wouldn't be...right, somehow. Like offering up pocket change to someone who lost their house. It's just...not...]

I had a little brother who died.

[Her voice is soft, but it doesn't waver.]

It was my fault.

[For a long time, she'd never told that to anyone. She'd never wanted to. But at least the only people who know it are still her family.]

It...takes a long time.

[...processing. Assuming you process it at all, instead of bottling it up and hiding it away and trying never to think about it.]

[Mondo draws back a bit, eyes wide.]

You did?

[He almost asks about what happened. Almost. But he can't bring himself to do it.]

I lost my brother too. That was my fault as well, though it wasn't 'cause of the... blacking out thing.

[That's just a simple statement rather than anything else and Mondo finally pulls away from Alice.]

Yeah. Yeah, it'll take a long time to get used to it. I know that much. But I'll be okay.

[Ishimaru is quiet through all that, letting them get it out as best they can; it's...good, to see someone able to provide comfort like this for his brother, and at this point that's what matters. His sense of family had never really been a strong one, before Mondo - he'd had his parents, yes, but they were always distant; his grandfather...the less said about that, the better. But now...well.

There's a sense of comfort in it, in knowing this can happen.

Just the same, however, when Mondo volunteers that bit of information it sends something cold through him; something just...clicked for him in a really unpleasant way, give him a second.]

...that's what your secret was, wasn't it.

[It's not exactly a question.]

The second motive? It was what you said just now, about Daiya. That's why...what Fujisaki-kun said to you...

Edited (HONORIFICS...) 2013-08-22 04:53 (UTC)

...Yeah.

[Mondo hesitates for a moment before facing Ishimaru fully. He doesn't hide behind his hair, instead he states it with confidence. It's a minor change physically, but it's a big change from how he usually presents himself.]

Daiya died because of me. I don't... I don't know if that secret played into why I killed Fujisaki or not. I wasn't planning on killing anyone even after getting that fucking motive, but when I black out I... I dunno. Shit changes. Maybe that had something to do with it, maybe it didn't. I won't know unless I go back and experience it.

That's why I have to get stronger. If I get stronger, I won't hurt anyone else.

How many times do I have to tell you not to start with that?!

[And here we go.]

I understand what you mean, but what you're talking about and what you're actually doing are two different things entirely - you've been demonstrating nothing but a complete lack of control and willpower every time you say that!

The fuck are you talking about!? I've got plenty of fucking control and willpower! If I didn't have any I'd just fucking sit back and accept that I'm not gonna get stronger!!

[Well, we've gotten into flat-out yelling territory. Mondo surges to his feet and balls his fists, but he doesn't seem interested in doing anything more at the moment.]

You're always going on about that! What the fuck would you have me do then, huh!? That's what I wanna hear! What the fucking hell would you have me do instead!?

[Oh, you are not the only one jumping to your feet, good sir - ]

Something that doesn't involve physically harming yourself, perhaps?! You've been nothing but self-destructive about this since you started - that's why I'm "always going on about it," because you keep coming back injured!!

I'm fucking fine! I can handle myself!!

[He's shaking and god does he want to lash out and hit something. But he promised Ishimaru no more violence, and besides, the only person he could really lash out and hit here is Ishimaru, and he doesn't want to hurt his brother.]

[Well, that escalated quickly.

Parker remembers all too well the last time she took a swing at Mondo, and she instantly recognizes the nuances of his stance and those tremors (body language is so much easier to read than verbal communication sometimes, not that they're really making the verbal half difficult either). And frankly, she's half unsettled and half just plain mad, because they just got done talking about this and now it's like they're going out of their way to give her an in-person demonstration so she can see firsthand what Mondo is like when he's angry.

And quite frankly, she's having none of it.

She knows she won't land a punch even if she tries, not when he's in a mood like this and expecting one. So she opts to use her position to her advantage, pivoting and bringing her legs sweeping around in a fast and practiced arc, slamming into the backs of his knees and carrying the momentum forward to sweep Mondo's legs out from under him.

Nor does she wait to see if he drops; as she continues the follow-through, she shoves herself up to her feet and rushes Ishimaru, ducking to get under his arm and grab him about the torso such that she can physically move him back about ten feet before stopping.]

Hey - !

[Oh, what the gently caress -

Honestly, Ishimaru is a bit too shocked to really process what the hell just happened with regards to Mondo, he just knows that something attacked him and that's quick to make his anger flare up, but before he can do anything about it Alice has grabbed him and he's very aware that fighting her is likely not a good idea.

Both because she's a woman and because she could probably kick his ass, um.

He stumbles a little once she's stopped, but it doesn't take him long to square off again - he's not angry, just...loud. As usual.]

Alice-san, that was uncalled for!

[Mondo certainly wasn't expecting that kick and he goes down instantly, landing hard on his back and losing his breath in the process. By the time he finally gets to his knees, Ishimaru has already stated exactly what he was thinking.]

What the fuck? I wasn't gonna fucking hurt him! He's my brother!

[Although uh, that hasn't stopped him from tackling Ishimaru to the ground before, but we don't mention that incident.]

Yeah, and I wouldn't hurt my brother, and guess what!

[Seriously, do you not...realize...how actually bad this looks when literally within the last five minutes we were talking about dead brothers and now all of a sudden you're claiming I'd never hurt my brother as a defense.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Though that doesn't mean you're off the hook either, Ishimaru.]

And you should stop yelling at him and just say that you're worried because you are and if you would just say that then maybe he wouldn't hear it wrong!

[And back to Mondo—]

And you should stop being stupid because talking to people is hard and he's bad at it!

[Seriously.]

Just stop!

[Ishimaru flinches sharply at that and he can feel his right hand starting to tic a bit, fluttering a bit at his side; he's quick to fold his arms across his chest, still looking irritable as hell but clearly having no real argument for that, either.

That said, he doesn't apologize, either, simply because it doesn't occur to him to; apologies have never been anything he does well.]

...Of course, Alice-san.

[Mondo flinches like he's been slapped. He doesn't move from where he's kneeling on the ground, instead staring down at his knees and trying to come up with something to say. Yes, he knows that was a bad defense. It's true though - they just don't know how Daiya died. For all they know he could have beaten his brother to death. That thought alone makes him flinch again, but he still doesn't look up.

He knows Ishimaru has trouble reading social cues. He's always thought that Ishimaru understood him better than anyone else because he's usually so open with his words. Has he really been confusing Ishimaru? He doesn't want to do that.

When he finally speaks, Mondo's voice is a lot softer than usual.]

I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry.

[He doesn't offer any excuses or explanations, just the apology.]

[She looks from Ishimaru to Mondo one more time, then draws a breath and tucks her head down a little; as she does so, it occurs to her that her hands are balled into fists, too, and she makes the conscious effort to unwind them and flex the fingers before trying to figure out what she's even supposed to say next.

Breathe.]

So do something about it.

[It's not accusatory, the way she says it; it's simple, and in a way, a little bit resigned.]

Okay?

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