There's an endless road to rediscover

[neededlassie]

Who: Shaun Mars and Yusuke Urameshi
Where: Olivine
When: mid-July something or other - after they've been bumming around about a month
Summary: Discussion about where to go next turns into a feelings jam. [Potential spoilers for Heavy Rain]
Rating: Probably PG-13, maybe R if you think that child-murder warrants a rating increase or if Yusuke exceeds the allotted amount of swears that's also entirely possible
Log:

By the time Yusuke got to Shaun, now slightly less drowned-rat-like after the rain let up enough for him to let his Charizard out to keep warm by, the younger boy had been so happy to have company that he was able to push all those anxious thoughts and fears to the back of his mind. When the random snow showers came, he and Yusuke spent all day playing in it, throwing snowballs at each other and using their teams to form ambushes. And the fun didn't stop just because they made it to Olivine. They annoyed the lighthouse staff and trained their teams and basically everything fun to do in Olivine.

Except go near the beaches.

It's been about a month and Shaun still doesn't go any closer to the sandy shore than the nearest building, and he's been taking his time challenging the gym (even though he knows he's not going to have a problem with it). There's an ice cream stand near the lighthouse that has really great value, and they have pokemon-friendly ice cream, too, and it being the middle of summer it's a pretty great treat every so often to just get some ice cream and cool down from training and goofing off all day.

"You know what my favorite thing about being here is? Besides all the people I met that I wouldn't have gotten to know back home. Not having to worry about going back to school."

Comments

I am trash I'M SORRY

[neededlassie]

Shaun knew that Yusuke didn't mean anything bad, he didn't know. He guiltily looked down at his own ice cream and licked up a dribble over the edge. Despite Yusuke stretching out beside him, he stayed somewhat closed-off, watching Maddie and Jack enjoying their ice cream obliviously. Susie knew her trainer, however, and she picked up on the change in tone quickly, the crest of fur on her head flattening slightly as she looked between the boys with a worried 'Floa...'

"I guess not. Too much water," Shaun admitted as casually as he could, trying to force the nervousness out of his tone. "I liked going to the lake, but that was...a long time ago. We didn't go after Jason--" There wasn't much grief in his tone when he said his brother's name, and after all the stories about Jason griefing him from the treehouse or giving him wedgies or tormenting his bird, the name's at least somewhat familiar.

But the way he cut off his sentence meant that there was a story he hadn't told yet. One that he was reluctant to tell, if the speed at which he moved on was any indication.

"Anyway, I don't mind if you like going to the beach! I just...hope I wasn't hurting your feelings by not going with you."

YOU'RE FINE

[angerpoints]

Yusuke was silent as he listened to Shaun's answer. The cogs in his brain were turning, piecing together the information Shaun had given him so far. So Shaun didn't like the water, he thought, eating his ice cream contempatively. He used to like it enough to enjoy going to the lake, but that was a while ago. And then there was something about Jason. Shaun had told him a little bit about Jason before - mostly about the kinds of crap he pulled on him. Yusuke, of course, could appreciate that. He liked to hassle Shaun a little himself from time to time.

Anyway. He wouldn't normally think this hard about Shaun's words, but something about the way he was acting was bugging him. He knew there was something wrong, and it seemed important to figure out what that something was.

Belatedly, Yusuke noticed that Gin had managed to get ice cream all over her face. The Lucario was sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of him, shoveling her ice cream in like she hadn't eaten in weeks. He made a face at her. She was gonna make herself sick eating like that one of these days.

"Nah, don't worry about it," he told Shaun. He fished a napkin out of his pocket and leaned forward, shoving it under Gin's nose with a quirk of his brow. Gin took it sheepishly and wiped her snout. "It's not like I expect you to wanna do everything I wanna do. 'Sides, my feelings are pretty hard to hurt."

Gin crumpled the napkin up in her paw and held it out to him. He scowled at it. "Hey, I don't want it. Throw it in the trash."

Looking cross, Gin begrudgingly clambered to her feet and dragged herself slowly and resentfully over to the trashcan nearby. That sulky attitude would normally be enough to set Yusuke off, but fortunately for Gin, his mind was still on Shaun. He cast a sideways glance at the younger boy. He didn't want to force Shaun to talk about anything he didn't want to talk about, but the kid looked so withdrawn he couldn't help but say something.

"Hey," he said. He was careful to keep his tone light. "Everything all right? You seem kinda nervous."

[neededlassie]

Shaun had surprised himself with how easy it was to be a little brother again, to let himself get teased and picked on and know that it wasn't meant to be mean. But he was stronger now, too. He was brave enough to pick back, smart enough not to need an adult to retort.

Sure, sometimes he still got nervous that he'd gone too far. He was still afraid at some point he'd screw up and Yusuke would decide he didn't want to hang out with him anymore. Rejection hung over Shaun's shoulder like the new Death, now that he'd accepted that the latter couldn't touch him here. Everyone left him sooner or later.

The thought made him even more miserable. A drip of ice cream ran down over his hand before he stopped it with his tongue, cleaning the edges of the cone. He doesn't pay any attention to Yusuke's exchange with his Lucario, but he glances at Maddie and Jack to see Jack fastidiously cleaning his fur, having finished his cone. The last bit of Maddie's disappeared in her strong jaws, and she looked up at him with a smile and a cheerful Snub!

For a second, it seemed like Shaun didn't even register when Yusuke addressed him again.

"Too much water," he said again, almost too quiet to be heard. "...Promise you won't make fun of me?"

[angerpoints]

"... Uh, yeah. Of course," Yusuke replied, furrowing his brow. He was trying to keep his expression neutral for Shaun's sake (because if there was anything he hated dealing with when he was down, it was other people looking at him like they thought he was gonna flip out at any moment), but the longer Shaun sat there next to him with his head down and his voice small, the more worried he became. It was hard to seem indifferent under those circumstances.

"What's up?"

Puu gave a concerned hum from where he was hunkered down next to Susie. Looked like she and Yusuke weren't the only ones who noticed there was something amiss.

[neededlassie]

If Shaun's used to anything it's people being worried about him. His teachers, his mom, the last four years have been a string of people scrutinizing him for any sign that he wasn't okay, and one thing he likes about being here is that (other than Blake) the only people who know what's happened to him are the ones he's told. He can be sad sometimes, and people are okay with that.

There's no one here to make him talk about Jason or his dad if he doesn't want to...And there's no one he has to be afraid of hurting when he talks about Jason.

I just want things to go back to the way they were before.

It's too bad they can't. Even worse that it's taken him four years and losing his dad, too, to accept that. He's given up hope on his dad ever coming to Johto, just like he's given up on Norman ever coming back. Or anyone else who'd left.

"...You know how I don't like to go outside when it's raining?"

[angerpoints]

"... Yeah. What about it?"

Yusuke barely even noticed Gin trundling back over; all of his focus was on Shaun. He'd never thought anything of Shaun's reluctance to go outside on rainy days. Plenty of people didn't like going outside on rainy days, just like plenty of people didn't like going to the beach. Had there been something else going on this entire time and Yusuke just hadn't noticed? The thought didn't settle well with him, but he decided to worry about it later. Right now, the important thing for him to do was to listen to what Shaun had to say.

[neededlassie]

Shaun was aware of how intently Yusuke was listening. He was aware of the arm on the back of the bench (it reminded him of the last time he saw his dad before he was kidnapped but he'd rather not think about that), and he knew Yusuke. He trusted him more than he'd trusted pretty much anyone since he was rescued from that well.

The older boy's opinion means a lot to him. But he's kept some parts a secret for so long, he has to tell somebody. If he was Superman, what he's about to admit would be his kryptonite.

"I almost drowned. ...In the rain." he feels like he has to hurry to explain before Yusuke laughs. "There was a man, he locked me in a well in the rain. I didn't like...do something stupid like state at the sky with my mouth open or something."

[angerpoints]

It was rare for Yusuke to look horrified. Hell, he'd stared death right in the face and smiled before. But when he heard those words come out of Shaun's mouth ("There was a man, he locked me in a well in the rain"), his eyes popped wide open, the color drained out of his face, and for a long, long time, all he could do was sit there and stare at him, feeling as cold and as clammy as he would if he'd been doused in ice water.

A man tried to drown Shaun in a well. Yusuke turned the thought over and over in his head, his jaw tightening as a flood of hot anger suddenly welled up in his chest. Some bastard tried to drown Shaun in a well. Yusuke hated people who hurt kids to begin with, but the thought that someone would try to hurt Shaun - that they would try to kill him, even...

Needless to say, when Yusuke finally mustered up the ability to speak again, it was a wonder he didn't shout.

"When?" He asked, eerily quiet. His voice was tight with barely constrained rage. "How long ago?"

pffft and then I noticed a typo wow screw my hot life

[neededlassie]

Shaun hazarded a glance at Yusuke and flinched visibly at the look on his face. Now he'd done it, now Yusuke was going to not be able to look at him like he was just a normal kid. Now he was damaged, even broken.

I never shoulda said anything.

"...About two years ago," he admitted, because Yusuke's tone was one that required a straight answer. "I-I... I was in that well for four days... before my dad saved me." He'd talked about his dad before. His dad the architect, the man with broad shoulders perfect for piggyback rides and a dorky sense of humor. He'd never mentioned Ethan the Hero. At least, not more than in passing.

His shoulders slumped and he tried to become even smaller, as if that was possible. The crest on top of Susie's head had flattened slightly, as she watched the humans carefully (mostly Yusuke, in case she had to snatch Shaun away from his reaction), but other than a little worried half-chirp she knew that she had to let the humans handle it.

"...That's why I don't like to go near the water," he added quietly, almost too quiet to be heard. As if it wasn't obvious.

[angerpoints]

Yusuke noticed the way Shaun looked after that brief moment of eye contact - how he flinched and looked away, and how he curled into himself afterward, like he was trying to put as much space between the two of them as possible. But as angry as he was right now, he couldn't think about anything other than what Shaun had just told him. He barely even registered any of the activity going on around them; his focus had narrowed down to how badly his hands now itched with the urge to throttle the man who'd dared to lay his hands on Shaun.

"Did they catch the guy?"

They better have, he thought fiercely. His expression was dark. Suddenly, he looked less like the easy-going, mischievous teenager Shaun had probably grown accustomed to, and more like a battle-hardened, steely-eyed warrior who had fought the worst kinds of monsters and murderers and sent them straight to their graves.

WOOHOO HEAVY RAIN SPOILERS

[neededlassie]

That question surprised Shaun. It probably wasn't the last one he expected, but it certainly wasn't one he saw coming. The child specialists had interviewed him in the hospital, Did you see the face of the man who abducted you?
Yeah.
Did you know him?
No.

"...He was dressed as a police officer," Shaun all but whispered under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut and pulling his feet up onto the bench to hug his knees. Did he tell you his name?
He said his name was Officer Shelby. He told me to call him Scotty.
Thank you, Shaun. We'll let you rest now.

"I don't know," Shaun admitted quietly. "I told them everything... But I don't know if they caught him." He squeezed his arms around his knees even tighter. "Mom always changed the channel when the news came on..."

[angerpoints]

He was dressed as a police officer.

Of course.

Of course he was dressed as a police officer. Yusuke didn't know the exact circumstances that had led up to Shaun meeting the guy who'd stuck him in the well, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the guy probably pretended to be a cop so he could lure Shaun in without looking suspicious. Revulsion twisted in Yusuke's gut. And here he'd thought it wouldn't be possible for him to feel more disgusted than he already did.

"Son of a bitch," he snarled. He leaned forward and thrust what was left of his ice cream at Gin, gesturing for her to throw it in the trash. He'd lost his appetite.

As Gin trudged away to do as she was told to do (without arguing or putting up a fuss for once, because as much of a pain in the ass as she could be, she was smart and sensitive enough to know that now wasn't the time for that), Yusuke leaned his elbows on his knees and knitted his fingers together, hard enough to make the tendons in his forearms stand out. His mind was racing. He wanted to hit something. Everything made so much sense now, from Shaun's refusal to go to the beach with him to his reluctance to go outside when it rained, but to think that this had been the cause of it all--

It took a second for Yusuke to get a hold of himself enough to wrench his gaze away from his clenched hands and look at Shaun again. When he did, the sight hit him harder than a punch to the gut, and for a moment, Yusuke forgot all about how angry he was.

Shaun looked so small. Yusuke stared at him, feeling suddenly at a loss. He didn't know what to say to him. Didn't know if there was anything he could say. He wasn't gonna tell him he was sorry, because that was the most stupid and useless response in the book, but what else could he tell him? He wasn't good at using words to solve problems. He was used to solving them with his fists.

"Hey," he said after a moment, his voice soft. It wasn't exactly the most profound thing he's ever said in his life, but it was a start, at least. Better than just sitting there and watching Shaun look miserable.