It took them long enough to get here...

[envy_the_sinners]

Who: Scar, Raikov, Lust, Greed
Where: Outside Saffron
When: Around Sept 16, may contain subthreads on different dates.
Summary: Meeting up! ...Semi-reluctantly. But totally not.
Rating: Starting PG to be safe?
Log:

Why had they crossed two entire regions, again? Right, because Lust wanted to "see Scar" about something, and he had had nothing better to do.

Raikov had, for some reason, stuck by him throughout the month he had spent traveling.

They were approaching Saffron City when they finally caught up with Lust and Greed, though Scar was beginning to show reluctance as they approached the campsite. This whole thing was stupid, not to mention pointless. What was he even doing here?

Comments

[a_sin_for_him]

"But why not take it, when it's offered?" There was genuine curiosity in Lust's voice. "It isn't as though it's going to hurt anything. At absolute worst, you spend a short time sitting in the woods."

[envy_the_sinners]

"Because it's not helping." He didn't mean to snap, but his instincts were kicking in like he was some cornered animal.

"It's souring what could have been a perfectly pleasant discussion. We have been dealing with one another fine. Getting better. But then you try to force things forward without just letting them run their course. If I had known that this was going to be all about my own issues, I wouldn't have come."

[a_sin_for_him]

Lust looked down at her hands, twisting them together in her lap. Her hair fell over her face and she left it there, biting her lower lip. She felt sick and strange. A trembling sort of weakness she didn't quite understand went through her and she swallowed hard."

"I'm sorry." Her voice was very quiet. "I...was trying to help. I'm not very good at helping."

[envy_the_sinners]

"Then stop trying." But Scar's sudden anger was quickly withering into regret, and he closed his eyes as he tried to collect himself. Tried to put together what to say in a way that wasn't so awful.

"You do help. More than anything," he murmured. He truly hated himself, when he was like this. When he let his emotions get so out of hand so easily. It was nearly impossible to even look at her, knowing that all of this was his fault.

"When we can just... talk. And be normal." Now he was watching her.

[a_sin_for_him]

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "It's just...that's what people do, for people they care about. I don't know how to express that, well. Caring for people."

And most people were lenient with her, because of that. She'd gotten a bit too reliant on that fact.

"It's easy to pretend I know exactly what I'm doing, but that's all it is. It's just pretending because I'm so damned confused and frightened so often. I didn't mean for this to be about you, I just...thought of something as we were walking, and... I want to be something that helps people and does good. I've done so many awful things..." She shook her head and took a deep breath. The words wouldn't seem to stop once they'd started.

"I'm sorry, this wasn't what I had in mind at all."

[envy_the_sinners]

"You don't owe me any apology." That irritation was creeping back into his tone, but it was more directed at himself.

"It's not pretending. What's pretending is when we can only talk to each other through carefully twisted words and solid walls." Somehow, Scar's eyes were still fixed on Lust. "You're a good person by nature. It's all of the other poison that's so damn hard to find and let out."

Maybe he was talking to himself a little, too.

[a_sin_for_him]

"No, I do. I shouldn't push you." No matter how cruel he'd been in telling her, his point was valid.

"And I mean in general, not just between us. I don't like talking like that, but sometimes it's like that's the only way we can possibly talk about our feelings." At least when it came to one another.

"I barely know how to be a functioning person, let alone a good one."

[envy_the_sinners]

At least she admitted to it. That lifted a weight of Scar's shoulders.

"It's only like that because we make it like that," he grumbled, now looking back down to Miriam, who had settled nervously on his legs.

"And you're doing much better than you were." He would argue that the other homunculi were awful people to be spending so much time with for someone who wanted to be better, but now wasn't the time for it.

[a_sin_for_him]

"Then how do we stop making it like that? Why can't we just be honest and plain with each other?" It wasn't exactly a question she expected an answer to, she knew she was as much to blame as he was.

"Thank you. I do try. And people help." And sometimes it worked.

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar glanced up to her briefly before he returned his attention to Miriam, who purred quietly as he stroked her back.

"I don't know." Now was the closest he had ever come, to simply being honest with her.

"I think about it. But never actually do anything."

[a_sin_for_him]

"Think about what, exactly?" Being honest, or trying to be a better person? Both made equal sense in context.

[envy_the_sinners]

"Just trying to be more honest with you." There was a tightness in Scar's chest, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. Actually, he couldn't place it at all.

This was very difficult to give voice to.

[a_sin_for_him]

"It couldn't do any harm. I'd like you to be more honest with me." She finally brushed back her hair, tucking it behind her ears. She stood to take the lunch basket from her Furfrou.

"We're set down, we may as well eat."

Guttle rolled over onto his back excitedly at the prospect of food.

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar didn't feel as if he could possibly eat right now, but she had gone through the trouble and he wasn't about to brush that off. He cast a fond look in Guttle's direction.

"I never know how to put things in a way that doesn't sound wrong."

[a_sin_for_him]

"Well, I'm aware of that, at least. I know not to take it the wrong way." Lust began unpacking, laying out a picnic cloth and pulling out sandwiches and cold salads and a dish of fruit.

Guttle rolled a little closer, tongue lolling out as the food was lifted out of the basket.

"Just...say whatever's in your mind, I suppose."

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar shook his head, back to watching the Pokémon rather than her.

"I can't even figure out what's on my mind, most of the time."

[a_sin_for_him]

Lust let out a small laugh.

"I know what you mean. I've started keeping a journal, so I can write it all out. It's half jumbled nonsense, but...it helps me, sometimes."

Finally she began taking out plates and napkins and things.

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar reached over for Guttle to roll him like a ball toward him and Miriam in hopes of keeping his excitement about the food curbed long enough for Lust to take everything out.

"Writing it down makes all of it too real." He had actually tried that before, back home. Getting it out somehow. But like voicing his thoughts, putting them on paper was too hard.

[a_sin_for_him]

"They are real, though. Even if they're just thoughts, they're still real. I find them less confusing and overwhelming, when they're written down in proper words. Or as close as I can manage to expressing them in proper words." Sometimes words couldn't contain ideas or thoughts.

Guttle happily rolled over to Scar, swiping his tongue out to lick him in greeting.

[envy_the_sinners]

"That doesn't mean I like to think on them." Scar was mostly unbothered by Guttle's greeting. He had a much smaller tongue than Scar's Growlithe.

It was easier to simply let himself be distracted by his Pokémon than by his own thoughts and difficulties. He rubbed Guttle's back, content as always to give the rotund seal a little attention.

[a_sin_for_him]

"I think of it the same as I think of certain aspects of human biology. Unpleasant, and I'd rather not have to, but necessary for healthy life." Lust sat back on her heels, eyeing the spread. Yes, that looked right.

"There." She settled in, tucking her legs under her, and sighed fondly at Guttle, lolling happily under Scar's attention.

[envy_the_sinners]

It wasn't often that Scar's expression made it obvious that he was genuinely perplexed. But had Lust just compared facing one's emotions to...

He looked up at her when she made that bizarre comparison, brow furrowed and eyes wide and almost a not of amusement on his face, if only at the simple unexpected absurdity of it.

"That doesn't exactly incline me toward the idea."

[a_sin_for_him]

"But once it's done, it's done and over with and one generally feels the better for it. Or at least relieved in some way."

From high, unbridled emotion to polite toilet jokes in hardly any time at all. But that was how they were, like weather in summer. Volatile and unpredictable and changing from a moment to the next. Lust wouldn't believe it if she didn't actually live it.

[envy_the_sinners]

Now that bit of exasperated amusement shone through in spite of Scar's best attempts to hide it. This wasn't actually happening. He was dreaming. Or losing his mind.

"Is this how you plan to win me over? Toilet jokes?" He was distracted from Guttle for the moment, eyeing Lust skeptically.

[a_sin_for_him]

"If it works..." Lust shrugged with a small, honest laugh and began serving herself.

"They do say men like a woman with a dirty mouth."