route_1065 | 1st Live Show

1st Live Show

Who: Cecil Palmer and YOU
Where: All over Goldenrod
When: The week of the 14th all through the 21st
Summary: Cecil does not understand the Pokemon world's festivities and so he fears and detests them.
Rating: Possibly PG-13 due to the nature of Cecil's canon and his worldviews
Log:

[With Goldenrod being a decently big city and the holidays looming ever ominously closer, Cecil has decided to camp out here for at least the end of the month. He has somehow also purchased a garish holiday sweater, which he has taken to wearing as he looks over the festivities in a whirl of confusion and fear.]

[During the first part of the week, he has decided to take advantage of the busier shopping days to be a barista. Be wary if you ordered anything that has nutmeg in it--or asked for nutmeg in anything you ordered that doesn't ordinarily contain it. He might have added too much nutmeg.

Like. A cup too much. Let's hope you notice lest you spend the next several hours in nightmarish pain.

If you don't notice--or at least, if you only notice when you feel the tingling burn of the spices at work--you might notice Ballou smiling widely at your pain. Yes, your anguish is sustaining the beast. ~~Don't worry, he won't last till the end of the week.~~]

[All through the week, he can be found just wandering around the Christmas market, the department store, or Goldenrod in general. He'll have at least one of his Pokemon out with him most of the time, whether it's Ballou sitting atop his shoulders, Delora floating around with a bag on its head as per usual, or even Cecil with Richard out trying to see if any of the ornaments will fit on him.]

[In the last stretch of the week, he'll still mostly be hanging around the Christmas market, although his Pokemon will be hovering around the area, passing out pamphlets warning everyone in the vicinity about the dangers of wheat and wheat by-products: that they will turn into venomous snakes, malevolent spirits, and may or may not do things like curse your family, spontaneously combust, or contaminate the surrounding area with wheat fallout. (And the carbs...) The pamphlets go on to warn that the Christmas spirit is not about baking things, or giving baked goods, or even receiving them--but if you do any holiday baking this year, you should definitely try a gluten-free recipe.

So. You know.]

[OOC: This is the catchall for "come bother Cecil bother bother" during the holidays! If you don't like any of the above scenarios, feel free to come up with your own.

I'm also shamelessly plugging in his OOC egg post from earlier this month, in case anyone wants to get on that.]

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[Jimmy has been spending a lot of time in the Christmas Market this month, so naturally the way that Jimmy runs into Cecil proper is when his Breloom comes trotting back to him with one of those pamphlets in his claws, holding it out for Jimmy to take. Here, he got this from a nice stranger!

He takes a moment to read it over before looking to see Cecil's other Pokemon pushing pamphlets onto passerby. He approaches with a paper in hand, his Breloom at one side and his Volcarona hovering at his other.

Hope you like giant walking mushrooms and fire moths, Cecil.]

Hey there! Did your Pokemon give mine this?

[He asks curiously, holding out the paper in question.]

[Naturally, in the Christmas season, it would be a given that Veronica would run into Cecil at least once.

A shame that it was when he was a barista.

It wasn't even her that met him first. Sometime, earlier in the week, two Gengars floated up to his stand. The two ghosts were only indistinguishable by the hair clips in 2shade's "hair". Wicked G was busy chortling to himself, looking over the many concoctions with his sister.]

2shade! Wicked G!

[Sure enough, Veronica followed a moment later, trailed by her Sylveon. Her Gengars looked at each other one last time and floated back to their trainer, waving their arms happily. Look, trainer! We have found refreshments!]

Wha... Oh. [Well, she'd already tried some other places...She walked over to Cecil.] Do you serve drinks?

[You know, he really didn't expect to come to the store only to have like ten pamphlets shoved at him about the dangers of wheat. This... is kind of weird. Mondo looks them over warily for a moment before locating the guy seemingly responsible for this.]

Hey, you!

[He shoves his way through the crowd toward Cecil. He doesn't look angry, just bewildered.]

What the fuck are these?

[He shakes one of the pamphlets in Cecil's face.]

[Sir, sir, you are shaking the pamphlet and your hair looks like a corncob and what are you doing

...teenagers.]

Helpful learning material to teach the public about the dangers of wheat and wheat byproducts?

...Dude, I don't know where the fuck you come from, but there's nothing wrong with wheat here.

[...]

Or wheat byproducts.

[ Valmont's been out Christmas shopping, if you can call it that. Buying a present for one person, who doesn't even celebrate Christmas, more like. But caring about even one other person is thirsty work, and after all that he figures he deserves a drink.

He's not looking at the barista as he approaches the counter, baristas being common people beneath his notice. So it's only when he's right in front of him that he recognizes who he's dealing with. ]

You - ! The one with the furry pants!

[ He'd... never gotten the man's name, had he.

Well. It doesn't make sense to refuse to patronize someone just because they can't dress themself. And besides, he's thirsty. ]

I do hope your drink-making skills aren't as utterly abysmal as your... fashion sense.

[ He pauses doubtfully before those last two words, as though he isn't sure that whatever Cecil has going on can even be termed "fashion sense". ]

What are your options, then?

_{[Guess who finally made it out of the Rocket Base and into the great outdoors?]

[Wrath, fresh with a few Rocket-training sessions under his hand-me-down belt, is trotting through the market and getting distracted by things approximately every three feet. THERE'S SO MUCH THAT SPARKLES. He has never seen this much sparkly stuff in one place before. IT'S AMAZING.]

[Of course, Cecil has likely accumulated a small crowd around him with his theatrical flyer-giving, and Wrath literally can't resist going over to take a look.]

[A scruffy child shoves his way through the crowd at roughly waist-height to see what's going on.]}

[He is indeed attracting a crowd, and the crowd is whispering things like "get a load of this whackjob" and "what the heck is this about?" and generally being as confused as someone reasonably would be reading about the dangers of wheat.

Especially when those pamphlets have crudely-drawn snakes all over them.

We're not currently sure whether or not Wrath can read, but the image of Sevipers emerging from loaves of bread, along with eyes bleeding and ectoplasm oozing out of people's mouths.

Such are the dangers of wheat and its byproducts.]

_{[As it happens, Wrath cannot read a single word.]

[So when he bends down to pick up a pamphlet that someone discarded on the ground, he's pretty much only paying attention to the diagrams of venomous snakes emerging from loafs of bread. And of peoples' faces melting.]}

... Uh.

I...think it did.

[He peers over at the pamphlet before determining that it is, in fact, a wheat and wheat byproducts pamphlet, and that his Pokemon did indeed give it to Jimmy.]

Yup!

Okay, cool!

[He turns the paper back around, giving it a second glance.]

But what's all this for, anyway?

...huh. That's odd. Y'know, back home they would almost always turn into venomous snakes. Unless, of course, they turned into malevolent spirits, and in that cause, boy, were you super dead.

But if you say there's nothing wrong with them here, I'll give them a try.

Carefully.

We sure do!

[He proceeds to rattle off a list of drinks that the coffee shop serves--most of which contain nutmeg in some capacity, because it's the goddamn holidays and if it's not peppermint it's a fuckton of spice.]

[Cecil, Valmont. His name is Cecil.

But he turns to you, acknowledges you in some basic, human manner, and proceeds to rattle off a list of holiday beverages.

In particular there's an eggnog-flavored beverage that this man particularly enjoys.

Mostly because he has an excuse to put nutmeg in it.]

So, anything in particular? The holiday specials won't last long!

...well. Nothing lasts long, compared to the nigh-immortality of the universe.

[...oh. Well, this is awkward.

It's not that Cecil doesn't like children--he does! And it's not even that he doesn't think children should be exposed to this sort of crap, because if you aren't exposed to the horrors of existence as a child...well, when will you be?

It's just.

Well.]

I'd be careful if I were you.

I've been told that the wheat here is safe--it never hurts to ask, of course--but if you're ever in doubt?

Fearing the wheat and hating it is probably your best solution.

[ Well, how is he supposed to know that? It's not as though he actually bothers introducing himself to people. Everyone should know who he is already, after all. ]

...Er, yes. Well. [ He's not sure quite what to make of Cecil's last statement. ] No tea, then? I suppose I expected as much from an American.

In that case, I might as well try that eggnog one you mentioned. Do make it quick, won't you? I haven't got all day.

...Okay.

[That's a lot of drinks. Okay, hmm...]

Hmm, let's see... can I get [Insert name of drink with nutmeg in it here.]

Don't most humans eat wheat?

_{[Not that he's an expert on human dietary staples... but HE THOUGHT BREAD WAS LIKE. A BIG DEAL.]

[Holding up the pamphlet, he points to the picture of the snakes erupting out of a loaf.]}

I can't read.

What's happening in this?

Listen to me, Jimmy:

Nothing and nowhere in this world is ever safe. You must always be vigilant, ready to fight with courage and insatiable bloodlust--or at least, run and hide--from any danger.

...such as wheat and wheat byproducts.

[A few minutes later, Valmont can expect a drink coming his way. It's piping hot! And it's got entirely too much nutmeg.

From the outside, though, you almost can't tell. A storm brews beneath its holly jolly surface.]

[If Veronica were used to all manners of poisons, she would probably have reason to suspect something, but even the best of bodyguards can let their guard down in Johto. It probably helps that Cecil's poisoning isn't intentional either.

But there's about a cup of nutmeg lovingly stirred into this eggnog-based drink. It just doesn't look that way.

Such is the way of lovingly crafted Night Valean beverages.]

Most of them can, but it's always important to take precautions. I mean, look here, [and he gestures to one of the diagrams on the pamphlet] here they're turning into malevolent spirits and possessing people.

It's kinda hard to know when that's happening to you, but shooting plasma out of your nose is a good start.

[Sadly, Veronica had let her guard down for weeks now. She was used to near constant assassination attempts. This was completely different from her normal way of life.

And it was just a drink place. What's the worst that could happen? She hadn't run into poisons for months.

So, she took the cup, sniffing it suspiciously because wow that nutmeg smell. But, it couldn't be that bad, right? She raised it to her lips and took a sip....]

....W-whoa, that's really-

[And then she started dying.]

[...]

Such as...

[He blinks and brings a hand to the side of his face, his brows knitting together as he tries to parse what exactly Cecil is trying to tell him.]

How is that stuff dangerous, though?

[ Valmont examines the drink critically. Well, he guesses it looks good enough for his refined palate. Perhaps the criminally fashion-impaired can be good for something after all. ]

Cheers, I suppose.

[ He drops a P500 bill on the counter, raises his cup, and takes a generous sip.

And chokes. ]

Oh god - what -

[ He doubles over as the cup falls to the floor, nutmeg-infused nog spilling everywhere. This, though, is the least of Valmont's worries. His throat is on fire, oh god ]

...what did you... do to me...

_{[Wrath's eyes just... slowly widen.]

[HE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS AND HE HAS NO FORMATIVE EXPERIENCES THAT WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM THE BULLSHIT RADAR THAT MOST PEOPLE DEVELOP TO TUNE PEOPLE LIKE CECIL OUT.]

[HOW WOULD SOMETHING SO HUGE HAVE JUST NOT BEEN MENTIONED???]

[At the last tidbit, he claps his hands over his nose. You know, in case it decided to start spurting plasma everywhere.]}

--I don't wanna turn into a malevolent spirit!

_{[HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT 'MALEVOLENT' MEANS BUT IT SOUNDS BAD.]}

Huh.

[He hovers over Valmont, a look of increasing concern spreading across his face.]

That's...odd...

Don't you - bloody act like - like you don't know what -

[ He's interrupted by a sudden, violent coughing fit. ]

...you've poisoned me - I'll - I'll sue -

[Fortunately, Cecil's noticed that something is amiss and has placed a phone call to the local hospital while apologizing profusely, but uh.

That wasn't supposed to happen.]

[Good job, Cecil. Meanwhile, Veronica will just be over here, on the ground. Dying.

At least her Gengars are getting a kick out of it.]

They're one of the deadliest things you could ever possibly come across, Jimmy! Possessing unsuspecting citizens, infecting the weak...

[A beat.]

And the carbs...

[NOT THE CARBS.]

Huh....is that really true?

[Nope, not taking any chances, LET'S CALL THE AMBULANCE

~~WII U WII U WII U WII U~~]

[SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG THE AMBULANCE HAS ARRIVED

god this is like the second time today what the fuck is with this world]

[IT'S PRETTY BAD]

It's okay, it's okay!

Just...don't eat the wheat until you can be sure it's safe, alright?

Then you ought to be fine.

Why would anyone lie about this kind of thing?!

[]Yeah, okay, gonna be carried off now.

wow this day sucked.

Her gengars drop off some money for him, at least.]

[ And that's how Valmont spent an embarrassing few hours in the hospital. ]

H-how do I know if it's safe or not?

...Huh.

I guess you've got a point.

[....son.]

...I dunno, but my best guess is that if it's not turning into snakes or anything, you're good?

But I've NEVER seen bread turn into snakes!

What if the snakes are just inside, waiting?

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1st Live Show

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oh my god Wrath needs a pamphlet

YES HE DOES (some blood/vomiting mention)

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1/2

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