So Make A Wish On Heaven

[these_balls]

Who: Participants of the Dream Plot!
Where: In your dreams!
When: Anytime your character is asleep on April 17th!
Summary: As promised, this is a catch-all log where people can post a character's dream as a top-level comment and allow other holders of our Mysterious Feathers™ to come visit them! Remember that the content of your dream is entirely up to your discretion, but we ask that you only have one, and to please also warn for content as needed!
Rating: PG, and please warn for threads that may go higher!
Log:

[Under the light of the full moon, the Mysterious Feathers™ begin to glow.

In the hours that follow after they sprawl out to sleep, those who had the good fortune (or at least the insatiable curiosity) to pick up one of those feathers earlier in the week will come to discover that something very strange is happening across the regions of Johto and Kanto. There's a saying about what happens when you let your mind wander; this time, though, it's a little more than just one's mind that's going wandering, as dream after dream stretches out before you like a horizon just begging to be chased.

Don't worry about getting lost, dreamers; as real and vivid as they may seem, your surroundings are really only visions and illusions, and in the end the failsafe way to escape from them is to simply wake up. If and when you do, you might feel perfectly well-rested or as on-edge as if you'd just jolted awake from a nightmare; like the dreams themselves, there's really no telling how the experience will play out for you, being different and unique to everyone.

But for now, you've got the whole night ahead of you, filled with places to go and people to see. Might as well make the most of it while it lasts...]

Comments

[a_sin_for_him]

"All of them?" Lust repeated the words softly, not really intending it to be a question that had an answer. "I think I would, too. What other choice was there?"

Stacked against them. That was putting it mildly.

"But I hate it, sometimes. It was like being a little wind up toy set on a track." No real choice, just the illusion of it. Do anything differently and things would only be worse. All that was left were so many years full of memories that meant little to nothing, or brought pain and unpleasant feelings. She hadn't even been left the good memories of her first life to counter them in some way.

"I can take the blame for this, if nothing else."

[envy_the_sinners]

What was that supposed to mean? Scar looked away for the first time in several moments. It was getting more and more difficult to find the right things to say.

"We should leave." His hand moved, just barely, towards hers, indicating that she could take it if she wanted.

[a_sin_for_him]

Lust took his hand.

"It doesn't matter if we leave," she admitted. "It's always with me. He never suspected I was anything other than I said I was. I wonder what would have been different if he did. If I'd ever been honest about anything..."

But she'd never said a word, and she'd killed him and still said nothing that would give him any understanding.

Maybe there was some reason she found herself with a man she couldn't be emotionally honest with. Or didn't need to be.

"My own emotions have always frightened me, I suppose." She sighed. "I apologize, you don't want to hear all this maudlin rambling nonsense."

[envy_the_sinners]

"Yes, but being in here won't help." Scar started to walk toward the door, but he stopped when she apologized.

"As if I haven't gone on a dozen maudlin ramblings with you," he pointed out a bit more gently than he usually spoke. Scar struggled to speak again, for a moment. "You don't need to apologize," he nearly whispered. "You speak on your emotions far better than I do."

[a_sin_for_him]

"No. I suppose it won't."

There was nothing left for her here. She made a small noise in her throat that could have been a chuckle.

"And I suppose you have. I've never spoken on this at all before. The other men, the other alchemists...I barely thought of them as people. I still don't. They used me as much as I used them. Lujon...he didn't. There was never even anything physical between us, but he...." she couldn't finish the sentence. It still hurt and frightened her, how Lujon had loved her.

"He was a good man that cared. And I killed him."

There. She'd said it.

[envy_the_sinners]

"It makes things more bearable, to speak on them." Scar wasn't surprised that she had killed him. He almost didn't say what he did next.

"Did you care for him?" Scar continued to stare ahead.

[a_sin_for_him]

Lust was quiet a moment.

"I don't know."

She gave the only honest answer she could. "I felt something, I think. If for no more reason than he was good and kind and cared for me without being coaxed or prompted to. I'd never known that."

There was no real sense to glossing over details now. Scar deserved honesty.

"He was supposed to get married. On his wedding day told me how he felt and asked me to be with him. I left that night. But he found me years later and asked me the same thing again. Idiot. If he'd just stayed..."

Interesting, wasn't it, how the outbreak has resurfaced so suddenly, two years later. Considering it hadn't been a natural outbreak in the first place.

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar had to admit to himself that Lujon did sound incredibly foolish, but... he wasn't one to talk. Not when he still had bullet scars on his chest because of this woman.

"You're saying 'if' too much. You should stop considering it that way. What's done is done." He waited for the inevitable 'but I can't help it.'

[a_sin_for_him]

"What's done is so cruel. What ifs have the potential to be kind."

Lust shook her head, trying to shake away the things preying at her mind.

"Not in any realistic envisioning, there was no hope once he'd caught my master's eye. I just wish I'd told him something kind, given him something real, been...good for him." She dropped her eyes.

"Perhaps I wouldn't be quite so miserable at it now."

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar stopped walking again.

"That is completely illogical," he said simply. It just was. It was another moment before he spoke again.

"You aren't miserable at it." He felt an uncomfortable quiver in the back of his throat, and that damn lightness in his stomach. "You're awkward, but less so than I am. You make me..." he trailed off again, not sure of what to say.

[a_sin_for_him]

"In comparison, maybe." Lust shrugged. "I struggle with my emotions, with expressing them properly. I think and feel so many things that I never say. I don't know how to comfort anyone properly. It's hard to learn these things, late in life."

She squeezed his hand, her own eyes lowering. She wondered if he'd intended to say something and thought better, or simply had no words for expression.

[envy_the_sinners]

"Better," he finally mumbled, as if his brain was still stuck on what he had failed to say rather than realizing what Lust had been saying in response.

"Everyone has emotions they never verbalize. It is awkward for everyone, sharing emotional things."

As evidenced by his muffled rambling only a moment ago.

[a_sin_for_him]

She didn't know what to say to him, in response to wanting to be better because of her. She could only look away, awkward, proof in the flesh - so to speak - of their very conversation.

"It's not fair that it's so difficult. If it were easier...so much else would be easier."

[envy_the_sinners]

"If it were easier, they wouldn't be emotions." Scar started moving again, hand gently pulling Lust's to hopefully have her follow him out of this room. He couldn't imagine it was doing her any good.

[a_sin_for_him]

Lust let him lead her away.

"It still isn't fair." There was little venom or vehemence in her voice, just a tired sort of quiet. It ought to be easy, after everything. But nothing ever was, not if it mattered. Valuable things had to be hard won.

"I suppose I'm just tired of difficult things, right now."

[envy_the_sinners]

"If there were ever a place things did not need to be difficult..." Scar felt he didn't need to finish. It would be in this world, regardless of what's been thrown at them.

And if there was anything he could do to make it easier... Well, he kept that thought to himself as he led her away.

[a_sin_for_him]

"You make it better."

The words were out before she could stop them. There was less control, in dreams. And it was a deep, simple truth. Scar's being here made her own quest to be better and do better that much easier. It wasn't just for her sake, something she wasn't sure would be enough motivation alone. It was for him - to be better for him.

And perhaps somehow make it better for him.

"You make it...worth the difficulty."

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar felt as if he had tensed and deflated at the same time when Lust spoke. He was important to someone. But that also came with a certain sense of obligation. He was the last person who should be anyone's emotional counsel, but she trusted him with these things.

"You as well," he finally muttered.