route_1065 | you couldn't be that man I adore ♫ [closed]

Entry tags:

you couldn't be that man I adore ♫ [closed]

Who: Sebastian and Chrome.
Where: Sebastian's room at the Violet City Inn.
When: The morning after this little trainwreck.
Summary: Chrome saw the battered wife and is coming to confront the abusive husband.
Rating: PG at worst; Sebastian's calmed down by now.
Log:

[ After the night's fiasco, Sebastian honestly thought it best to get as much of the violence out of his system as he could. It was quick work, a simpler task as a human; his human body grew tired, and it had a finite amount of rage, unlike a demon. After trashing the room, he fell asleep on the bed, and he's only now woken up to survey the damage.

The mantle, the table, the shelves, all of them swept clean with a broad stroke of his arm. The mirror is still broken, traces of blood on the shards that haven't fallen, and the desk chair is upended in the doorway of the bathroom, where the shower curtain is sprawled in the tub.

With a soft sigh, he rises to his feet (tired, so tired, which is so much better than angry, since there's no one here to see him) and begins by removing his ruined glove and washing his bloodied hand. Even clean, it looks bad, but it doesn't hurt much anymore. He replaces the shower curtain and takes a scalding hot shower, changes into fresh clothing — not his butler uniform, but some spare clothes he bought around Christmastime — and begins the tedious task of cleaning up the rest of the mess. ]

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[She didn't even bother to knock. The door swings open and there's Chrome, just standing in the doorway and watching Sebastian with accusing eyes.]

It looks like there was an earthquake in here.

[ Last night, Sebastian might have snapped at her for being so impolite as to walk right in, but today, he sighs, sweeping shards of glass off the mantle. Even his tone has no bite to it; he speaks mildly and calmly. ]

It's nothing to worry about, Miss Chrome; I'm cleaning it up now, and the damages will be paid for.

[She says nothing; just watches him. SILENTLY JUDGING.

After a moment though she sighs, quietly closing the door behind her and leaning against it]

What happened?

[ He turns to dump the shards into a paper bag on the desk, and she might notice the bandages on his right hand versus the glove on his left. ]

There was a minor disagreement; I believe it's been resolved. [ For a given value of 'resolved.' ]

[She notices but says nothing about it at the moment. Again she's quiet, before moving to sit on the edge of the bed, to make herself appear less threatening]

Ciel-san has a very nasty bruise on his face. [Her eyes go to him, watching for a reaction]

[ Rolling the bag up, he drops it into the trash can, then moves back to the bedside table to pick up the lamp, which is by some miracle unbroken. He rights it on the table. ]

I imagine he does. [ The sentence 'he's not the only one' came to mind, but that just isn't fair, and he doesn't have it in him to say it. ]

I wonder how it got there?

[She places her hands on the bed and leans back on them. Yeah well, she hopes that bruise she left you HURTS SEBASTIAN >:C]

[ Since his back is turned, he rolls his eyes. ] Sounds to me as though you have every idea how it got there. Why are you fishing for answers, Miss Chrome, if you've already spoken to the boy?

[ 'The boy,' not 'the young master.' There's a jarring sound for you. ]

Because I wanted to be proved wrong. I was hoping it was a misunderstanding.

[He's not even talking about her and she still feels hurt by it]

...I was hoping you could work things out, and make up.

[ He turns his back on the desk now, leaning against it and looking at her. He's smiling, but only with his mouth. He even looks tired. ]

It was no misunderstanding. The boy needed a wake-up call, and as atrocious as it is to admit, I needed to break something. He won't be coming back here. He can't. He thinks he has something to prove. Perhaps he does. Perhaps my presence has hindered his growth as a man. I am honestly not sure.

[ His voice is soft and a little rough; his words are candid. Sebastian is in rare form, here. This whole affair, the entire last month, have worn him down to this point. ]

[She stands then and walks to him, walking close enough to feel the heat from him. She reaches up to touch the bruise at his face and sighs sadly]

I think you should sleep for a while and relax. And I think you should apologize for hitting him.

...He's still young, and I think he still needs you, but he won't admit that. You're not thinking rationally at all--neither of you are. You're both acting like children.

[ Her proximity makes him straighten slightly, and he reaches up to touch her hand gently with his own before taking hold of it and pulling it away from his face. He doesn't immediately release her hand. ]

It's hardly any fault of your own, but I don't believe you understand... our relationship; our... way. If I hadn't hit him, I would never have gotten through to him. And even if I apologize now, he won't come back. Even if he needs me, he won't come back.

[ He glances down at her hand in his and doesn't refute the insult. It may well be true, and he's in no mood to argue. ] I'm thinking perfectly rationally. If I go to him, if I insist, if I apologize, he might eventually take me back. [ He hates those words — 'take me back,' as if he'd wronged the boy somehow. ] But he needs to do this for himself, at least for a little while.

[She looks down at their joined hands in silence. It hurts. The emotional, worrying pain that something has changed or will change, that nothing will ever be the same.

It's similar to what she felt after the event with Byakuran, and after Yamamoto had been hospitalized. That everything was changing, being forced to grow up too far, too fast. Making decisions even normal adults should never have to make, fighting and killing.

It's the same, but different. It's like grasping at something slipping away, that she can't place. Chrome doesn't want any strain, to be forced to choose, or for everything to fall apart. It's strong enough to make her blink back sudden tears.

When did everything become 'too much'? And the implication that she doesn't understand them... She really doesn't, does she.]

And what about you? What do you need? [Chrome finally tears her eyes away to look at his face again]

Edited 2011-01-15 05:12 (UTC)

[ The question still catches him off-guard; he's spent enough years as a butler, a mere piece of furniture, that even if he knew he was better than the others, he's grown unaccustomed to being considered. To be asked his opinion, much less what he needs, is a surprise.

He sighs, chuckles a little, and reaches up with his gloved left hand to brush at the welling tears in her eyelashes. ]

I need you to stop crying. It's nothing you should worry yourself over; this is our mess, and you have no need to trouble yourself so with it.

[ He's avoiding the question, and he half-fears she knows it. He's avoiding it because the answer is too deep, too far beneath the surface. It's more of himself than he's willing to show her — more than he's willing to show anyone, but if anyone should hear it, it should be Ciel, by all rights. ]

[She blinks, breath catching and glances away] I wasn't crying. Not really...

[No need to trouble herself? Chrome almost laughs] You're my...friends. [She says it oddly, like it's a word she's never used before, that leaves a strange taste in her mouth. There's a pause, and she repeats it a bit more firmly]

You're my friends. I don't want to see this tear anything apart. If I can help in any way, then I want to help.

[ Friends? The word is essentially foreign to Sebastian, but he's long since learned to reconcile a concept he knows with a word he doesn't.

For humans, he's learned, 'friends' are something invaluable, irreplaceable and desperately important. The meaning of her words isn't lost on him. ]

My, my... [ He sighs, rueful and a little wistfully amused. ] You humans never cease to amaze. You really were a stroke of genius.

[ After a pause, he lifts her hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the back of it. He's quiet for a moment afterward, still holding her hand between them. ]

... There may be a way to repair the damage done. [ He says it very slowly, because he doesn't much like the idea. ]

[She swallows hard, surprised by the kiss laid on the back of her hand, made curious by his words. She can ask what he meant by all of that later, because all her mind can focus in on then is 'there may be a way']

I'll help. [it's said automatically, probably sealing herself to something she might not like; but she's willing to try anything to help them]

[ And now he sighs, because this is the part he hates. ] No... this is something only I can do.

[ And he closes his eyes, because he really hates these next words. ] You were right. I should apologize to him. An apology alone, however, might not be enough. He deserves an explanation.

[ It's an explanation he'd rather not give Ciel. They're far beyond the pretense of the flawless, unshakable butler, but the facade of the powerful, mysterious demon still stands, and these explanations would damage it considerably. To explain himself to Ciel will be to humanize himself to Ciel — but it may be what the boy needs.

It may be what Sebastian needs, but that's not a thought he's willing to contemplate right now. ]

[She says nothing but moves a bit closer to rest her head against his chest, just briefly, to be comforting.

And then she's stepping away to put some much-needed space between them] I'm sure you can do it. It'll be hard--you're both very stubborn and proud... But, it's something you both need.

[Because despite Chrome only being 14, she's had to grow up a lot in the very short span of only a couple months back home. A part of her wishes desperately to go back to being mostly carefree, with a broing life. But she enjoys ait a little, being able to see and understand what most 'children' wouldn't, and even as a child she was able to connect with adults more than people her own age.

It's probably why she and Ciel got along so well]

[ He's startled by the contact, but he rests his hand on her back gently until she moves away, whereupon he lets her go, and finally surrenders her hand he's been holding, too.

Her last sentence strikes an unpleasant chord, because he knows she's most likely right, and he hates the very idea of it. That, he's almost sure, makes her braver than he is. He hates that idea, too. ]

... Thank you, Chrome. [ He smiles, just as tired as before, but it lights his eyes this time, if only barely. ]

But first... [She takes his sleeve, tugging him towards the bed-- no not like that]

You need to sleep... You look dead on your feet.

[ He sighs a bit, but doesn't resist, even as he protests: ] I slept last night. I'm not able to function without sleep anymore.

[ Case in point, Sebastian. ]

[She just gives him a pointed look] Please, sleep. For me.

[She's trying to tug him to sit on the bed]

[ With a sigh, he settles onto the bed and removes the glove from his left hand, laying it aside. When he looks back up at her, it's through his lashes, his head slightly lowered. ]

I'll sleep. On one condition.

[She even goes as far as semi-tucking him in, but pauses at his words.]

One condition?

[ A small smile sneaks its way in again. ]

Stay with me until I fall asleep. ... If that's all right.

[She sees what you did there.

She smiles a little and nods] It would be my pleasure. [because two can play at that game]

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you couldn't be that man I adore ♫ [closed]

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