[Oh. Well, that sure is a hug he just got. Man he's so unused to that kind of shit that it catches him off guard, though he doesn't terribly mind. After a moment, he lets out a sigh. He wants to help, but he really doesn't want to alienate Dirk either. It's a fucking complicated situation.]

I tell you what... Here's some advice for a hypothetical situation. No names or anything attached. Y'know, for the future, if you ever find yourself in a totally different yet weirdly similar situation with other people.

Say you're crushing on this guy, but someone else is too. This guy is blissfully unaware of the fact he's got two hot bitches craving his muffins, which may or may not be english in this scenario. But since this is a different hypothetical situation, they aren't english.

Anyway. I'd say it'd be worth it to try and get those muffins first, sway their affections over to you before the other person can get there. Because who's to say you wouldn't make 'em just as happy, or even happier, as that other person?

[He shrugs.]

I dunno, like I said. That's advice for a totally different situation which doesn't have any relevance to this current little predicament. So I honestly don't even know why I said any of it.

[He's so full of shit right now, but he honestly couldn't just not help out. He just hopes she knows not to throw him under the bus if it ever comes up.]