happy birthday from all of us to you

[diamondo]

Who: All the Dangans + Parker!
Where: Violet City
When: 8/31, evening
Summary: It's Ishimaru's birthday and his classmates are throwing him a surprise party. This can't end badly.
Rating: PG-13 for language. I'll update this if there are any changes!
Log:
Never again. Mondo is never planning a party this big ever again. Of course the original plan didn't take into account the arrival of five classmates, so originally this would have been easy enough to handle. Now, though? He'd practically run himself ragged making sure that everyone was here and everything was ready.

The hotel was kind enough to lend them the Conference Room for the occasion, and it was quite a large room that should easily fit all of the Hope's Peak classmates and Alice. All the food is spread out on a table by the wall (it's entirely vegetarian, since that's what Ishimaru likes) and the tables are situated nearby so that the guests can actually sit and eat. There's plenty of open space in case anyone wants to dance to the music that's been set up (though Mondo doubts Ishimaru will set foot on the dance floor, it's mostly to entertain the other guests). The gifts are all piled in the back corner and there's even a large TV for the guests to watch. All in all, it seems like the perfect place to hold a party.

All that's left is for Fujisaki to bring Ishimaru to the location, so Mondo fires off a quick text to his friend, letting Fujisaki know that everyone's ready and in position. This is gonna be awesome.

Comments

[ardent]

What...do you mean...?

[I mean that's sort of a broad question there, Kuwata-kun...like, just in general or what...]

[struck_out]

Like...what do you like to do, or to eat! So that next time when your birthday comes round, Oowada can make somethin' that's more your style for you.

[ardent]

Ah. Well, I'm usually not very picky, and he's handled it well for the most part! I've just never been too keen on sweet things; I'm not used to having them. Once in a while, yes, but not very often.

[struck_out]

OK ok, you don't really like sweet things! That's not the point of my question Ishimaru! Whaddaya like? I bet a rules guy like you must like healthy stuff like vegetables and fruits right?

[ardent]

[...Kuwata, you had best be prepared for most conversations with him to generally go...uh, not much better than this, really. Lead the target, lead the target, he'll get there eventually...]

Well, yes, of course! Our bodies are a gift and all, and we've only been blessed with one of them - they should be respected as such!

[...that...wasn't weird at all...]

[struck_out]

Ah...umm, not gonna lie but that sounded a bit...weird Ishimaru.

So...ok! You like fruits and vegetables. Which types do you like?

[This is not a hard question Ishimaru. Help him please he is trying to be nice and patient.]

[ardent]

Well, it's true, isn't it?!

[...Leon

Leon bro

now is about when you should pause and try to re-examine your life choices

because how badly do you want him to start yelling about your body in public

because he will do it

he will]

And again, like I said, I'm not very picky! As long as it isn't entirely made of preservatives, it's fine!

[struck_out]

Yeah it's true but you don't have to say it that way. Normal people don't talk like a textbook, ya know? Just say something like, "Yeah, we should take good care of our health!", it's the same thing but at least you don't sound like a walking ad for MEXT.

But that just means that you can eat the stuff! Isn't there a fruit you like better than all the others? And not just for all that health crap, but just because you like how it tastes?

[There's no turning back Ishimaru.]

[ardent]

I don't sound like a -

[...wow, you can practically hear the thoughts screeching to a halt inside his head. While it's true that Kuwata's more than a bit of a livewire and he's nowhere near as...well, normal as Naegi, he's at least sort of charismatic, right, in his own way? And judging from something Naegi had said, he'd been friends with Oowada and Fujisaki, back before everything had gone so strangely in the school...

Hm.]

[ardent]

[Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh.]

Strawberries are good.

[There, is that better?]

...Do I really sound that abnormal?

[struck_out]

See, that wasn't so tough huh? Now Oowada can make you a strawberry something next year and skip the chocolate and vanilla! Everyone wins! Though strawberries are a bit girly but their still ok I guess. I never figured you for a strawberry guy, I thought you'd be all over watermelons, 'cause that's a traditional Japanese fruit but hey! Good to know you're not just the poster boy for the ideal Japanese kid!

Hate to break it to ya Ishimaru but...yeah, you do. Stuff like eating vegetables 'cause it's healthy for you, or even just gettin' up on time for school...well, everyone knows it already! It's like, normal stuff for all of us. So talkin' about somethin' that's so basic and actin' like it's the most important thing we should be talkin' about, well...

[He rubs the back of his neck, why is he the one having to tell Ishimaru this?]

...yeah, it's just weird.

[ardent]

[Well, if it makes him feel any better, he's technically not the first, though he hasn't had it explained in quite that way before.]

The problem isn't that others don't know these things, as I would hope they do by now! However, things like that often aren't prioritized as much as they should be - normal or not, most don't adhere to it properly!

[struck_out]

But not in normal conversations. I mean if you were trying to give me advice or something then that'd be ok, but we're talking about what kinda food you like to eat Ishimaru. This ain't a PE class! There's no right or wrong answer, there's just you and what you like to eat, not what we should be eating to respect our bodies or whatever the hell you just said.

[ardent]

[...excuse him while he just kind of stares at you like you have come bearing divine revelation from God, Kuwata.]

Because it's not necessary. Right?

[struck_out]

YES!

[Leon looks so thrilled. Now, time to put Ishimaru to the test!]

OK, so now if I ask you this question again: what kinda vegetables do you like to eat, you say...?

1/3

[ardent]

Nagaimo.

[ardent]

[...DIVINE

REVELATION

FROM GOD]

[ardent]

[...that sudden burst of laughter is probably a little alarming - sorry man - but holy shit he is so pleased right now Kuwata you have no idea]

Ah, that's been troubling me for weeks now - you've taught me something very valuable tonight, Kuwata-kun, I'm very grateful!!

[struck_out]

[A little? Try flat out freaked out. But hey, whatever makes you happy birthday boy.]

Uhhhh, yeah. Glad to help.

...did you really not know this stuff? Jeez, how'd ya get by in school all this years then, huh?

[ardent]

W-Well, it's not anything I needed to get by academically, and as long as I could perform my duties as a hall monitor without them, things like that weren't exactly necessary!

[struck_out]

But what about the more important things? Like hanging out with friends, or watching movies. Hell, have you even had a girlfriend yet Ishimaru?

[ardent]

Those things aren't more important than school by a long shot! And I...

[...]

Of course I haven't!

[struck_out]

Of course they are!! Especially the girlfriend. Life's all about living and enjoying it and doing whatever you want, don't let all that boring crap keep you away from chasing your dreams!

Have you at least kissed-...wait no, you're not in my league so...OK, have you at least held a girl's hand? Or taken a girl out for a drink. Something simple and easy, yeah.

[ardent]

I don't find it boring!! "Doing whatever I want" has never been an option, and even if it was, it's not one I would want to pursue!

[...okay, wow, look, let him just. Breathe. For a moment.]

But no, I haven't done any of those things you're talking about!

[struck_out]

Alright alright, calm down. If ya wanna go through life being a stick in the ass then go ahead, but it ain't gonna get'cha any friends if you keep going on like this.

Ya gotta loosen up a little Ishimaru! You've got nearly all of us here, haven't you? So kick back and relax, take a chill pill and don't stress out all the time. Take it from me: don't sweat over the small stuff! It just makes your life even more miserable.