You have no chance to survive

[these_balls]

Who: Rocket Grunts, Magma Grunts, and Aqua Grunts! Basically all the Grunts!
Where: The Whirl Islands and Cinnabar Island
When: February 1st
Summary: Pretty much this
Rating: PG-13? It doesn't need to higher than that? Right, guys?
Log:

The orders are pretty simple. Go in. Wipe out the Team Aqua and Magma Grunts. That's it. So there's not going to be any farewell speeches or anything like that from the Admins because they're of the opinion that you guys have totally got this.

And if you don't...

Well, don't worry about that for now.

Instead, just worry about getting to the nearest base and boarding a helicopter. After that, you've got a short (or long, depending on which base you're heading to) ride ahead of you to some islands in the middle of the ocean, inhabited by a bunch of Aqua and Magma Grunts who have no idea this surprise is on the way. So just do what you do best, Rockets!

And as far as the Admins are concerned what you do best should be to win at all costs. Anything less and well, that would just be an embarrassing return to the region for them. And nobody wants that.


QUICK LINKS
EVENT INFO | QUESTIONS | PLOTTING POST

☆ HELICOPTER RIDE THREAD ☆ TEAM AQUA BASE THREAD ☆ TEAM MAGMA BASE THREAD ☆ AFTERMATH THREAD

Comments

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Valmont's exit from the helicopter is... actually pretty graceful, surprisingly. Lands on his feet and everything. He hasn't done too much that requires his physical skills in a while, so it's nice to know he's still got it.

All right, so now he's inside, and he's got his Servine and Gothorita out, the latter because it's his strongest Pokémon and the former because, well, it fits with his aesthetic. Even if his aesthetic is almost completely obscured at this point. He's got on the godawful uniform with its stupid mask, like he's some kind of petty bank robber, but what really rankles is the fact that he has to keep his hair up under the (dumb, tacky) hat. Honestly, what's the point of having a beautiful ponytail like his if you can't even show it off to your enemies?

God, he misses his own criminal organization. The Dark Hand didn't have any dress code, that was for sure. Possibly to its detriment.

Well. The sooner he can defeat one of these Magma grunts, or whatever the hell it is they're meant to be doing here, the sooner he can change and go home. Where are the grunts? Perhaps the other team members have taken them all out, and he won't have to get his hands dirty at all. The thought is an appealing one.

In the meantime, he's looking around to see if there's anything even remotely valuable in this base, Servine assisting with opening various crates and Gothorita keeping a lookout. He's not having too much luck. What the hell do they need all these ropes for? ]

[whos_that]

Not that it's any of Team Rocket's business but because one never knows when they'll have to make a hasty exit from their secret subterranean volcano lair. But Valmont's not likely to find that out because once he's spotted, a Grunt's running over there yelling, “Hey! That's our stuff! Get out of there!”

He's already got his hands on a Pokeball, the only one on his belt actually, but he hasn't brought out a Pokemon yet. For what it's worth, he's hoping his yelling is enough of a deterrent, even though it probably won't be.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Well, he can't say he wasn't expecting that. Looking forward to, no, but expecting, yes. ]

Is this yours? [ He looks from the Grunt to the open crates and back. ] Well, it's certainly not very interesting "stuff", is it? I was told we were to be raiding a secret base, not a rope warehouse.

[ WHO NEEDS THIS MANY ROPES ]

Do tell me you've got something more valuable somewhere, won't you? I didn't come all this way for nothing.

[ He shoots a meaningful look at his Gothorita. If the man decides he doesn't want to tell him, perhaps a mental nudge will do the trick. ]

[whos_that]

There's no need for a mental nudge since Team Magma Grunts, and just Grunts in general, aren't exactly good at keeping their mouths shut.

“Of course we have more valuable stuff! But you won't be seeing it any time soon! Go, Numel!”

That...sure is a Numel. Yup. Definitely nothing out of the ordinary here. Nope. Not at all.

...unless you consider a level 100 Numel to be something out of the ordinary.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ And yet he still knows absolutely nothing about what these valuable items are. Damn it, Gothorita, what the hell does he pay you for? ]

Tsk, fighting already? And here I had hoped we could settle this with a civil conversation.

[ He doesn't sound particularly disappointed, though. This fight ought to be an easy one, after all. That thing's hardly any bigger than his own Pokémon! ]

You. [ He nods to his Servine. ] Take care of that thing, won't you?

[ Guess who's still clueless about type advantages... ]

[whos_that]

“The only thing that's going to be taken care of today is intruders like you! Numel! Flamethrower!”

And that tiny camel sure is breathing fire now. Yup. Thats happening today.

Maybe Valmont should pay more attention to Pokemon typing?

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ There's no maybe about it, friend.

Valmont reflexively steps back as the Numel begins to breathe fire, even though it's clearly aimed at his Servine and not him. Why doesn't he have one of these firebreathing things for himself? He really ought to get one. It would be like the dragon talisman, only less conveniently handheld.

Well. Perhaps once he defeats this man he can steal his camel thing for himself. That'll definitely happen. ]

Right, then. If you're quite done with your little pyrotechnic display -

[ Wait a moment. Something's not right. Namely, the fact that his Servine seems to have collapsed onto the ground face-first, charred and smoking slightly. ]

...Are you serious? [ He stares at the Servine in utter disbelief. ] One attack! You can't even handle one simple attack?!

[ Receiving no answer, Valmont growls and turns to his Gothorita. ]

All right, your turn. See if you can make a rather less pathetic show of it than that one, won't you?

[ With a rather worried glance at his fallen comrade, the Gothorita steps up to bat. Rather than attack in the traditional manner, though, because lol 60+ level difference, he just sort of stands there concentrating. Concentrating, specifically, on the strong suggestions towards nonviolence he's sending into the opposing Pokémon's mind. How difficult can a Numel be to manipulate, really? ]

[whos_that]

Meanwhile the Grunt is over here trying not to laugh. Oh who are we kidding? He's cracking up because that was hilarious. Team Rocket, you clearly made a mistake today.

“I don't see any reason to change things up,” the Grunt says, not knowing that Gothorita is attempting to mess with Numel's head. “Do it again!”

It yawns instead using...well, Yawn, obviously. That was nonviolent at least? It might put Gothorita to sleep on the end of the next turn though.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Team Rocket's finest, this one. ]

How dare you laugh at me! You - you merely got in a lucky shot! You won't be laughing after this one gets through with you, I assure you!

[ Speaking of, hey! It looks like their mind control strategy is working out. Finally, a subordinate of his who actually does what he's supposed to! ]

Mm, and it doesn't look like your camel is particularly interested in fighting right now, does it? What a shame. I'm afraid that leaves it wide open for attack!

[ Right on cue, Gothorita launches a Psybeam in the Numel's direction. It probably won't fail horribly! ]

[whos_that]

Psybeam succeeds in sort of...spinning Numel around in a circle. Didn't really do a lot of damage though. Sorry about that.

“I didn't tell you to use Yawn! I told you to use Flamethrower! Listen this time!”

Unfortunately for Valmont, Numel's not happy about being hit with Psybeam or being yelled at, so it's turning around and aiming a Flamethrower for Gothorita.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ Of course it didn't do a lot of damage. Don't tell Valmont, though. He's looking quite pleased with himself. ]

Finally. I knew one of these things had to be good for something. Well then, since yours seems disinclined to actually -

[ Oh. He takes it back. Flamethrower sure has returned with a vengeance. For a moment Gothorita seems like he might be able to withstand it better than Servine did - but just for a moment. Then he totters, staggers, and goes down just as hard. ]

Oh, for god's sake!

[ Well, this just turned ugly real fast. Gothorita was the one he was counting on to make his team not suck. He hasn't trained either of his remaining Pokémon in any way. But they're all he's got, so...

He takes out a third Pokéball, releasing a Stunky, who takes one look at the situation and immediately jumps in between her trainer and the Numel. She's going to defend the hell out if him, all eight levels of her. Bless her heart.

Valmont, for his part, just sighs and holds his nose. ]

Do what you do best, I suppose.

[ And clouds of Poison Gas begin to emanate from the Stunky's rear. ]

[whos_that]

Well, of course the Grunt is going to cover his face with that because ew, gross. He wants no part of that. Neither does Numel, but since Numel lacks any sort of way to keep away from the gas, it's poisoned! So congrats Stunky, you managed to poison a level 100 Pokemon.

“Ugh, gross. Numel, clear the air with...”

...okay, shooting fire into the poison gas is probably a bad idea, so let's not do that on this turn. Using an Earthquake might be a bad idea too, so that leaves...

“Use Double-Edge!”

So Numel's going to charge through all that gross stuff in an attempt to collide into Stunky. Is it overkill? Probably, but the Grunt doesn't want that poisonous smog to last any longer than it has to.