Who: ANYONE AND EVERYONE Where: ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE When: May 29 - 31 Summary: GET IN HERE AND MINGLE Rating: BUT PLEASE MARK YOUR THREAD CONTENT ACCORDINGLY Log:
Ah, but that's what I'm doing - it isn't just the prosecution entrusted with that particular task, after all.
[He's got no idea what you think he'd be doing if not that, unless...hm.]
Our court system is heavily skewed against the defendant - they're assumed guilty until proven innocent, rather than the other way around. I would think that ensuring the actual guilty party is found out and punished for what they've done counts as "putting bad guys behind bars," wouldn't you?
[...Well, there's...less murder, anyway? Surely that has to count for something.]
That we do, actually - it's not a terribly popular decision, but several facets of the legal system more or less completely collapsed in on themselves several years ago and since then we've been trying to rebuild. Or so I've heard, all of that was obviously before my time, though we've had massive setbacks since then that are making people speculate that we're in a second legal dark age.
Essentially, all defendants are guilty until proven innocent beyond a shadow of a doubt, all trials are to be resolved in three days or default to a guilty verdict, bench trial only - no jury.
[...HE SAYS, AS THOUGH ALL OF THIS IS A PERFECTLY RATIONAL SOLUTION TO THE FUCKING LEGAL SYSTEM COMPLETELY COLLAPSING, TWICE.]
Most of the cases I've handled dealt with capital offenses. I don't personally agree with it, but the system is both very fond of and very prompt with the administration of the death penalty.
[...GLAD TO HAVE PROVIDED YOUR JOY FOR THE DAY, SCHULDIG...]
Come now - we're not uncivilized.
[...okay thankfully that statement was so utterly self-aware that it's probably contemplating the meaning of life, because that'd just be sad otherwise.]
All of that aside, some of us have become very proficient at working within the legal boundaries we've been given. It's an interesting challenge, most of the time.
[Just...the sort that involves human lives and probably somebody dead at the end of it, you know how it goes.]
[Because it's occurred to him that he may not be the only one from his...particular version of things who's arrived here; there's hardly any sense in giving out anything resembling his actual name until he can ascertain whether that's the case or not.]
[And his first thought is "not with hair like that, you don't," but it's possible it's a private bodyguard...thing, he supposes.]
Hopefully you enjoy your job as much as I do mine, then - because to answer your question, even if some may find the stress and the risk to be unpleasant, I find that's what makes it worthwhile in the end.
Occasional damage to one's faith in humanity notwithstanding.
[It's always the hair, isn't it. No one appreciates a little style, a little flash.]
I find my job's a lot easier when I keep things simple. Some people are cut out for making world-changing decisions; I just make sure they make it to the right time and place to get to make 'em.
[You know, depending on who's doing the grabbing, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Which is precisely the kind of thinking that gets him thrown facefirst into floors by his ponytail, but you know.]
I worked for the prime minister of Japan once. It was an election year and he was favored to win, so you can imagine there were at least a few people who weren't all that happy about that.
[...The prime minister of Japan, being bodyguarded by a twentysomething with godawful hair who is also, from the sound of the name alone, the World's Most German Man.
Kristoph is fairly certain that he's being fucked with, but then, he is also kind of magically here in the dumbest situation known to man and he's got a tremendous cobra for no reason, so he's not entirely sure where the line is even supposed to be drawn with regards to suspension of disbelief.
...So sure he's being fucked with, though.]
I'd imagine keeping things as uneventful as possible on your end would have been considered a success, then - how did that work out for you?
He won the election and then terminated my services. I didn't take it personally.
[And he just kind of smiles, and for once in the conversation listens carefully for "Mister Lehrer's" thoughts, because if he's got his read on this guy right, there should be a connection to sudden and mostly-unexpected death taking place in about three seconds.]
[Perhaps surprisingly, it's not the thought of violence that enters his head first, not really; rather, it's a sick sort of understanding for what's being said - about how that sense of anger eventually reaches the part of your brain responsible for deciding what you're going to do about it, and once it gets there, there's calmness and a sense of purpose and once you've found that point?
It's very, very easy to not take things personally.
And then there are the fantasies and sometimes the fantasies end and you suddenly come to with a blunt object in your hands and blood all over the table and there's your sudden mostly-unexpected death, really, but that's not personal either, because the most you can think to say out loud is muttering a completely blank "Oh my god, really..." while you clean it up.
His thoughts never do slant towards "Like hell you didn't take that personally," because he has no doubt that regardless of what actually happened, you didn't take it personally at all. Not really, anyway.
He smiles again.]
You're more forgiving than most, then, if there were no hard feelings whatsoever; then again, it's possible that I just have a bad frame of reference for these things, isn't it.
[Working with homicides and all.]
Edited (i don't know what that first sentence was but i'm pretty sure it wasn't english) 2015-05-31 08:37 (UTC)
It's a good thing he's a professional at this (the mind-reading, that is, which isn't to say he's not a professional in the other bits too, but that's beside the point), because he's long since learned how to keep his expression constant no matter what he's hearing, and that's coming in handy because everything that thought process just decided to be is approximately the equivalent of holding a door for somebody and having them hand you the keys to their private yacht in gratitude.]
Well, you deal with some sketchy people, it sounds like. Maybe it's good to meet one that can give you back a little faith in humanity.
[And for a brief moment it's clear that he doesn't know what to do with that; his expression doesn't slip entirely but he blinks a bit at it, and the reaction is slightly more pronounced on the left side of his face than it is his right, and there's something weird and blank behind his eyes before he seems to get his bearings.]
You really are being helpful today; it's been a while since I've been offered a casual invitation like that.
[And that actually is entirely true; even before the last six months had rendered him...socially unavailable, he'd never really been the sort invited on casual outings - there were professional obligations and all, of course, but he really only did casual things with...well, someone whose friendship didn't work out, to put it very gently.
(That bastard, he hopes he dies.)]
I don't usually drink, but that doesn't mean I won't make an exception for you. I don't see why not.
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no subject
[He's got no idea what you think he'd be doing if not that, unless...hm.]
Our court system is heavily skewed against the defendant - they're assumed guilty until proven innocent, rather than the other way around. I would think that ensuring the actual guilty party is found out and punished for what they've done counts as "putting bad guys behind bars," wouldn't you?
no subject
[HOLY SHIT THIS GUY IS CONFIRMED TO BE FROM BIZARRO WORLD.
ALSO HE'S BLONDE.
...THIS COULD POTENTIALLY BE BIZARRO-WORLD CRAWFORD WHO WENT INTO A LEGITIMATE PROFESSION INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, MURDER
but let's not leap to conclusions]
Are you kidding? You guys can really get away with that — guilty until proven innocent, no shit?
no subject
That we do, actually - it's not a terribly popular decision, but several facets of the legal system more or less completely collapsed in on themselves several years ago and since then we've been trying to rebuild. Or so I've heard, all of that was obviously before my time, though we've had massive setbacks since then that are making people speculate that we're in a second legal dark age.
Essentially, all defendants are guilty until proven innocent beyond a shadow of a doubt, all trials are to be resolved in three days or default to a guilty verdict, bench trial only - no jury.
[...HE SAYS, AS THOUGH ALL OF THIS IS A PERFECTLY RATIONAL SOLUTION TO THE FUCKING LEGAL SYSTEM COMPLETELY COLLAPSING, TWICE.]
no subject
oh my god he's like equal parts aghast and like really fucking into this right now.]
Do you settle appeals by, like, road race through the desert or something? Bladed combat? Healing from a burn in three days or less?
no subject
[god like it ain't even a thing]
no subject
[THIS IS THE BEST THING HE'S HEARD ALL DAY
CAN WE MOVE HERE]
no subject
Come now - we're not uncivilized.
[...okay thankfully that statement was so utterly self-aware that it's probably contemplating the meaning of life, because that'd just be sad otherwise.]
no subject
[...]
I mean, there's a process, and you sure are doing it.
no subject
[Just...the sort that involves human lives and probably somebody dead at the end of it, you know how it goes.]
no subject
Do you enjoy your work, Mister...?
no subject
[Because it's occurred to him that he may not be the only one from his...particular version of things who's arrived here; there's hardly any sense in giving out anything resembling his actual name until he can ascertain whether that's the case or not.]
And you would be...?
no subject
[As inwardly he thinks you fucking liar and ...good man and oh, I LIKE you, all in fairly rapid succession.]
I'm Dietrich Jaeger, I do security work. The pleasure's all mine.
no subject
[And his first thought is "not with hair like that, you don't," but it's possible it's a private bodyguard...thing, he supposes.]
Hopefully you enjoy your job as much as I do mine, then - because to answer your question, even if some may find the stress and the risk to be unpleasant, I find that's what makes it worthwhile in the end.
Occasional damage to one's faith in humanity notwithstanding.
no subject
I find my job's a lot easier when I keep things simple. Some people are cut out for making world-changing decisions; I just make sure they make it to the right time and place to get to make 'em.
no subject
Exactly how world-changing are we talking, if you don't mind?
no subject
Which is precisely the kind of thinking that gets him thrown facefirst into floors by his ponytail, but you know.]
I worked for the prime minister of Japan once. It was an election year and he was favored to win, so you can imagine there were at least a few people who weren't all that happy about that.
no subject
[...The prime minister of Japan, being bodyguarded by a twentysomething with godawful hair who is also, from the sound of the name alone, the World's Most German Man.
Kristoph is fairly certain that he's being fucked with, but then, he is also kind of magically here in the dumbest situation known to man and he's got a tremendous cobra for no reason, so he's not entirely sure where the line is even supposed to be drawn with regards to suspension of disbelief.
...So sure he's being fucked with, though.]
I'd imagine keeping things as uneventful as possible on your end would have been considered a success, then - how did that work out for you?
no subject
[And he just kind of smiles, and for once in the conversation listens carefully for "Mister Lehrer's" thoughts, because if he's got his read on this guy right, there should be a connection to sudden and mostly-unexpected death taking place in about three seconds.]
That's just how things go sometimes.
no subject
It's very, very easy to not take things personally.
And then there are the fantasies and sometimes the fantasies end and you suddenly come to with a blunt object in your hands and blood all over the table and there's your sudden mostly-unexpected death, really, but that's not personal either, because the most you can think to say out loud is muttering a completely blank "Oh my god, really..." while you clean it up.
His thoughts never do slant towards "Like hell you didn't take that personally," because he has no doubt that regardless of what actually happened, you didn't take it personally at all. Not really, anyway.
He smiles again.]
You're more forgiving than most, then, if there were no hard feelings whatsoever; then again, it's possible that I just have a bad frame of reference for these things, isn't it.
[Working with homicides and all.]
no subject
It's a good thing he's a professional at this (the mind-reading, that is, which isn't to say he's not a professional in the other bits too, but that's beside the point), because he's long since learned how to keep his expression constant no matter what he's hearing, and that's coming in handy because everything that thought process just decided to be is approximately the equivalent of holding a door for somebody and having them hand you the keys to their private yacht in gratitude.]
Well, you deal with some sketchy people, it sounds like. Maybe it's good to meet one that can give you back a little faith in humanity.
no subject
It's just a bit strong sometimes, that's all.]
Once in a while they come along - and believe me, I'm always grateful for them when they do.
no subject
I know a bar where you won't even have to leave the snake at the door.
no subject
You really are being helpful today; it's been a while since I've been offered a casual invitation like that.
[And that actually is entirely true; even before the last six months had rendered him...socially unavailable, he'd never really been the sort invited on casual outings - there were professional obligations and all, of course, but he really only did casual things with...well, someone whose friendship didn't work out, to put it very gently.
(That bastard, he hopes he dies.)]
I don't usually drink, but that doesn't mean I won't make an exception for you. I don't see why not.