Who: ANYONE AND EVERYONE Where: ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE When: May 29 - 31 Summary: GET IN HERE AND MINGLE Rating: BUT PLEASE MARK YOUR THREAD CONTENT ACCORDINGLY Log:
[... all right, that outburst definitely leads to Takatora taking a minute or so to process what he just heard, because he can't understand any of it. Mitsuzane believing he'd killed him? ... was it the forest incident? That certainly hadn't been Mitsuzane's fault.
Then, a slight memory clicks into place, a time where Ryouma had spoken to him about the vague possibilities of other worlds, worlds beyond Helheim, that if they truly existed, could be used for their benefit. At the time, Takatora had thought that if these worlds would exist, he could save more people, somehow, and that would be what Ryouma wanted as well. Thinking about it now, he's fairly sure Ryouma would have only wanted those other worlds to use them for his own ends.
... is this... one of those other worlds? A world outside of his own, or Helheim?
... but why is Mitsuzane here, looking at him like this?
Gently, Takatora detaches the Sylveon from his arms (who looks positively mournful at being separated from his trainer, circling Takatora's legs the best he can), taking a step closer towards Mitsuzane. He won't touch him, not when he's so tightly wound.]
[... Would he? He's not sure, and his expression cracks enough that the confusion in his eyes is evident. He doesn't know. He doesn't know, and that fact alone is hard to deal with. He's not yelling at him, not berating him... could this really be him? But he's dead -]
[But again, these days don't ever seem to make sense.]
[There's something else, too - something he's picked up from other people. People can come from different points in their timelines. Maybe this is what happened. When he speaks again, his voice is tired. Controlled, but just weary.]
... I killed you, Takatora. It's not you who should be the one who goes away.
[Oh. He can't remember the last time Mitsuzane ever called him anything but 'nii-san' and he's surprised to find how much it hurts to sense that ever increasing distance between them. The hurt look on his face is obvious before he attempts to bury it, trying his best to stay neutral.
It certainly doesn't fool his Sylveon, who is very distressed by how unhappy her trainer is and how unhappy this other human is, so he wanders over to Isamu and circles him instead, trying to figure out what he should do to make this situation better.]
It's only reasonable, isn't it? That you would want me to go away, if you did such a thing.
[Takatora is well aware of how much space is between them, but he works to close it again, stepping forward until there's only about a foot left.]
You aren't talking about that day in the forest, are you? ... with Ryouma.
[Isamu looks down and shakes his head. His trainer is... odd. He hasn't been able to really help him yet, and he's not sure what to do.]
... After that. You joined up with Kouta-san and the others... and you tried to stop me. I was only trying to keep her safe. I only wanted... I only wanted her to be safe. So I killed you, because you were in my way. A Kureshima has to get the job done, no matter how dirty it makes his hands, right? ... So I killed you, and I killed him.
But he... but Ryouma-san didn't keep her safe. He killed her, too.
[And it was all his fault, and he can't erase what he did. Isamu lets out a slightly panicked whine as Micchy's aura twists and darkens.]
[That's... honestly the worst news Takatora is sure he could have ever received. The expression on his face goes blank and he seems to shut off entirely from giving any sort of reaction, trying to process exactly what his once preciously innocent younger brother is telling him.
Mitsuzane... To think that Mitsuzane was capable of such things, and then to stand here saying them so calmly...
He can't think of much to say, so he goes with the first thing that comes to mind.]
You trusted Ryouma, after what he did to me?
[Of course he did... With that sort of talk, Mitsuzane would have liked to think he would be different...]
He was useful. He had the most knowledge of what was going on. Even after the Overlords started to become even more aggressive... if I could use him to get to my goals, to keep her safe, to try to make the best ending for things...
Of course I didn't trust him. But I needed to use him.
[But he didn't expect something like that to happen, true.]
[Honestly, Mitsuzane. Where does he even start with you?
Sylveon is still quite distressed, but he's taken to lightly laying a feeler on Mitsuzane's leg, trying to comfort him. He can tell that his trainer is horribly concerned, but if his trainer won't move forward to comfort this boy, then he's just going to have to try and do it for him.]
... so you risked the lives of everyone in the world for someone you loved? [There's something to be said for that. Nothing good, certainly.] And how did it all end? Suitable for you?
[Does he sound angry? Because he's a little angry.]
[He tries to gently move his leg away. He doesn't want comfort. He wants to speak to his brother, no matter how aggravated he gets.]
The only other options were never going to work. Try to force the strongest to survive? Let Ryouma try to make a new world? At least if I had a say in it I would be able to try to direct it towards a good end.
[His fist clenches, and he longs to just yell and scream and fight this out, but he's not a child anymore. Isamu senses the tension and grabs his trainer's shoulder firmly. No fighting.]
... But no. It didn't work. I lost everything, and everyone's going to die or worse. ... It's my mistake. I won't deny it. But there's nothing that I can do to take it back.
[... fine. Sylveon is just going to curl up at Isamu's side, feelers kept close to his body as he watches the pair. It's obvious that he's not feeling too great about this development, when nothing he's doing is helping to calm the situation.]
Did you even consider anyone else when you made your decisions? Or were you only thinking about what you wanted?
[Takatora hates this. He hates not knowing the full story, not knowing what happened to him, or Kazuraba Kouta, or the type of person Ryouma turned into. He hates the idea that all of his work, everything he'd dedicated his life to, everything he'd sacrificed so much for had been for nothing, all because of his younger brother's recklessness.
... no. No, this is still Takatora's fault, isn't it? He'd had to have done something wrong at some point. When they were younger, Mitsuzane had been fine, but something had shifted in his brother over the last few years. ... but it couldn't be helped. Takatora had no choice but to focus all of his time and attention on his obligations, while still trying to keep Mitsuzane safe.
He'd tried so hard to do the right thing.]
I trusted you, Mitsuzane. ... I wanted you to be the one to help people, even if I couldn't be there.
[It sounds strange and unfamiliar to speak in past tense like this when it feels like he'd only seen the other yesterday, pleading with him to seek out Kazuraba Kouta and work together with him to save everyone.
What I wanted for myself never entered into it. To keep her safe... a full assault against the Overlords was never going to work, and we all knew it. To appear allied with one would have been for everyone's benefit. Redyue... she could have always been deposed later. And if she were the power, I could be the one behind the throne, directing her to do the things that would save the most amount of people.
But none of you wanted to see something like that. Against creatures that were so powerful... even Ryouma's technology had limits. I wanted to keep her safe, yes. I didn't want to make it so that everything was destroyed, though. I wanted to help... but none of you would even listen to me or try to see things my way. Even she didn't want to - and then... and then...
[Isamu senses his trainer moving before he even starts to make the motion, and in a flash he's in front of him rather than at his side, pushing him away before he can go to grab Takatora. Micchy stumbles and blinks in shock, staring at Isamu, before letting out a small, defeated sigh.]
We all did what we thought was right... and... it ended in disaster. At least here - at least here I think I'm doing things right this time.
[Maybe not the police surveillance, but he's trying.]
Why would you need to keep her safe, other than your own desire? Part of our responsibility, part of being a Kureshima, is that if we love someone and want to protect them, we can't let ourselves be blinded by putting them as a priority. We aren't the only ones in the world with people we love and it's our responsibility to protect as many people as we can, because they can't fight for themselves.
[He can... understand, somewhat, the idea of trying to ally with the enemy if only in appearance. But the idea that Mitsuzane be the one secretly in charge, manipulating an Overlord? Takatora's not so sure that could have ever ended well. Mitsuzane, despite all of his protests, was still horribly inexperienced.
It's also... painful, and surprising, to hear Mitsuzane speak so strongly of someone he'd wanted to protect. It had never occurred to him that Mitsuzane would have someone like that in his life. He'd only known about Kazuraba Kouta in passing, but nothing about any other members of the team.
When Isamu steps between them, Takatora raises a hand to let the other know it's all right, if Mitsuzane wants to approach him. For any reason.]
How do you feel, about how everything turned out? Disappointed you couldn't protect someone, but is that all?
[The Lucario eyes him warily, but steps aside. He still doesn't really understand humans fully. He's mature enough for his species, but humans live so long... he just doesn't know.]
[At the question, though, Micchy lets out a weak chuckle, hands balling into fists again.]
Of course you'd say that. And... of course I don't. I killed you. I killed Kazuraba Kouta. Even if he was a fool, he was my friend, for a time. And you... you're my brother. Even if I thought you were a fool for trying to go about things the way you did... you're my brother.
Do you think that it's something I enjoyed? Even with being 'blinded'... it was enough that I saw you everywhere after that.
[He doesn't want to say outright 'I felt guilty', but... at least his brother should pick that much up.]
I have nothing left anymore, and it's because of what I did. No, 'disappointed' isn't all I feel about it.
[That's right. Mitsuzane had yelled at him, said something about being haunted by him when he'd first seen him. ... was that his guilt, somehow, or something deeper than that? There's a brief moment where he senses an unpleasant connection, something he doesn't want to think about too much, but...]
It's difficult to tell how you might feel. ... I believed Ryouma to be a dear friend of mine as well, though it makes me wonder if he ever regretted what he did to me.
[Takatora has no idea where all of his relationships went so wrong. Ryouma had been such a strong, comforting presence in his life for so long. And Mitsuzane, his precious younger brother...
He's willing to take a chance on being hurt more, because right now Mitsuzane isn't the only one who feels as though he's lost everything. Cautiously, he reaches up to grab Mitsuzane's shoulder, tugging him in the rest of the way to hold him securely against his chest, one arm wrapped around his back.]
[He stiffens, before just falling limply against his brother. He should yell, he should push him away, he should warn him not to get close... but he's just so tired of this. And... this just proves to him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the phantoms he was seeing were in no way representative of his brother.]
[He lets his hands rest against his sides, and closes his eyes. He doesn't say anything, just tries not to cry and tries not to let his breath start hitching like it keeps threatening to do.]
[Takatora's never felt at such a loss for what to do as he does right now, except for perhaps when he'd first heard about the forest and had yet to meet Ryouma. Ryouma had managed to give him hope that somehow they could survive, but for that brief time... the feeling in his heart was the same as it is now. What are the chances he can change anything? He's not even sure if he'll be alive when he returns to his own world, or if he'll ever be able to go back.
It really does hurt, to think of all the sacrifices he'd made and all the time he'd spent trying to save the world. ... and this is how it ends, with all of his work being for nothing. Nearly half of his life wasted.]
... I'm sorry, Mitsuzane.
[Takatora's not even sure what he's apologizing for, but he feels like his brother needs to hear it. At the very least, maybe he's apologizing for never being there for his brother in the first place. Maybe that would have changed things, somehow.]
... You're not the one who did this. These were my choices. It's my responsibility to bear the consequences for them. I don't know what happens to make us leave this place or come back... but if there's anything left when I get back home, it'll be my responsibility to bear it. I've been trying to keep myself busy and out of trouble here as much as I can, and to try to help other people not make the same sorts of mistakes I did... but it's not enough. Nothing ever will be.
[He pulls away a little, gently, and looks at Isamu, half a smile on his lips.]
At least I have Pokemon that are better at being heroes than I ever could be. Isn't that right, Isamu?
[The Lucario straightens up, looking somewhat pleased with himself - and the change in his Trainer's aura.]
[Takatora listens, even though he doesn't know what to say. He gives Mitsuzane's body one last, firm hug before releasing him, though the touch doesn't feel anything like it might have when they were younger. It's as though all of the affection has been taken out of the action and he's doing it more out of obligation than anything else.
Now that the two are apart, Sylveon whines softly and pads back to Takatora, lightly pawing at his leg to be picked back up. He can tell his trainer is still very sad and wants to help him, somehow.]
Do you feel it's helped you, being here?
[Takatora doesn't look down at Sylveon, but he does put one hand back down to his side, which Sylveon gratefully accepts by wrapping one of his feelers around it and pressing his body against Takatora's leg.]
... I think so. I've been trying to help people as much as I can. The right way, I mean.
[He does have his obligations to Team Rocket, but breaking from them right now would just be foolish - and possibly dangerous.]
There are some people who... understand more than I could have imagined. They don't know everything that happened, of course, but... some of them know enough. And Isamu and another one of my Pokemon tend to drag me back whenever I start to get off track. Training them is... interesting, and somewhat humbling in other ways. They can be extremely powerful and extremely intelligent. Even the smallest of them are much smarter than any sort of animal I've ever seen at home.
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Then, a slight memory clicks into place, a time where Ryouma had spoken to him about the vague possibilities of other worlds, worlds beyond Helheim, that if they truly existed, could be used for their benefit. At the time, Takatora had thought that if these worlds would exist, he could save more people, somehow, and that would be what Ryouma wanted as well. Thinking about it now, he's fairly sure Ryouma would have only wanted those other worlds to use them for his own ends.
... is this... one of those other worlds? A world outside of his own, or Helheim?
... but why is Mitsuzane here, looking at him like this?
Gently, Takatora detaches the Sylveon from his arms (who looks positively mournful at being separated from his trainer, circling Takatora's legs the best he can), taking a step closer towards Mitsuzane. He won't touch him, not when he's so tightly wound.]
Would it make you happier, never seeing me again?
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[But again, these days don't ever seem to make sense.]
[There's something else, too - something he's picked up from other people. People can come from different points in their timelines. Maybe this is what happened. When he speaks again, his voice is tired. Controlled, but just weary.]
... I killed you, Takatora. It's not you who should be the one who goes away.
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It certainly doesn't fool his Sylveon, who is very distressed by how unhappy her trainer is and how unhappy this other human is, so he wanders over to Isamu and circles him instead, trying to figure out what he should do to make this situation better.]
It's only reasonable, isn't it? That you would want me to go away, if you did such a thing.
[Takatora is well aware of how much space is between them, but he works to close it again, stepping forward until there's only about a foot left.]
You aren't talking about that day in the forest, are you? ... with Ryouma.
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... After that. You joined up with Kouta-san and the others... and you tried to stop me. I was only trying to keep her safe. I only wanted... I only wanted her to be safe. So I killed you, because you were in my way. A Kureshima has to get the job done, no matter how dirty it makes his hands, right? ... So I killed you, and I killed him.
But he... but Ryouma-san didn't keep her safe. He killed her, too.
[And it was all his fault, and he can't erase what he did. Isamu lets out a slightly panicked whine as Micchy's aura twists and darkens.]
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Mitsuzane... To think that Mitsuzane was capable of such things, and then to stand here saying them so calmly...
He can't think of much to say, so he goes with the first thing that comes to mind.]
You trusted Ryouma, after what he did to me?
[Of course he did... With that sort of talk, Mitsuzane would have liked to think he would be different...]
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Of course I didn't trust him. But I needed to use him.
[But he didn't expect something like that to happen, true.]
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Sylveon is still quite distressed, but he's taken to lightly laying a feeler on Mitsuzane's leg, trying to comfort him. He can tell that his trainer is horribly concerned, but if his trainer won't move forward to comfort this boy, then he's just going to have to try and do it for him.]
... so you risked the lives of everyone in the world for someone you loved? [There's something to be said for that. Nothing good, certainly.] And how did it all end? Suitable for you?
[Does he sound angry? Because he's a little angry.]
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The only other options were never going to work. Try to force the strongest to survive? Let Ryouma try to make a new world? At least if I had a say in it I would be able to try to direct it towards a good end.
[His fist clenches, and he longs to just yell and scream and fight this out, but he's not a child anymore. Isamu senses the tension and grabs his trainer's shoulder firmly. No fighting.]
... But no. It didn't work. I lost everything, and everyone's going to die or worse. ... It's my mistake. I won't deny it. But there's nothing that I can do to take it back.
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Did you even consider anyone else when you made your decisions? Or were you only thinking about what you wanted?
[Takatora hates this. He hates not knowing the full story, not knowing what happened to him, or Kazuraba Kouta, or the type of person Ryouma turned into. He hates the idea that all of his work, everything he'd dedicated his life to, everything he'd sacrificed so much for had been for nothing, all because of his younger brother's recklessness.
... no. No, this is still Takatora's fault, isn't it? He'd had to have done something wrong at some point. When they were younger, Mitsuzane had been fine, but something had shifted in his brother over the last few years. ... but it couldn't be helped. Takatora had no choice but to focus all of his time and attention on his obligations, while still trying to keep Mitsuzane safe.
He'd tried so hard to do the right thing.]
I trusted you, Mitsuzane. ... I wanted you to be the one to help people, even if I couldn't be there.
[It sounds strange and unfamiliar to speak in past tense like this when it feels like he'd only seen the other yesterday, pleading with him to seek out Kazuraba Kouta and work together with him to save everyone.
There's so much he's missing...]
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But none of you wanted to see something like that. Against creatures that were so powerful... even Ryouma's technology had limits. I wanted to keep her safe, yes. I didn't want to make it so that everything was destroyed, though. I wanted to help... but none of you would even listen to me or try to see things my way. Even she didn't want to - and then... and then...
[Isamu senses his trainer moving before he even starts to make the motion, and in a flash he's in front of him rather than at his side, pushing him away before he can go to grab Takatora. Micchy stumbles and blinks in shock, staring at Isamu, before letting out a small, defeated sigh.]
We all did what we thought was right... and... it ended in disaster. At least here - at least here I think I'm doing things right this time.
[Maybe not the police surveillance, but he's trying.]
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[He can... understand, somewhat, the idea of trying to ally with the enemy if only in appearance. But the idea that Mitsuzane be the one secretly in charge, manipulating an Overlord? Takatora's not so sure that could have ever ended well. Mitsuzane, despite all of his protests, was still horribly inexperienced.
It's also... painful, and surprising, to hear Mitsuzane speak so strongly of someone he'd wanted to protect. It had never occurred to him that Mitsuzane would have someone like that in his life. He'd only known about Kazuraba Kouta in passing, but nothing about any other members of the team.
When Isamu steps between them, Takatora raises a hand to let the other know it's all right, if Mitsuzane wants to approach him. For any reason.]
How do you feel, about how everything turned out? Disappointed you couldn't protect someone, but is that all?
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[At the question, though, Micchy lets out a weak chuckle, hands balling into fists again.]
Of course you'd say that. And... of course I don't. I killed you. I killed Kazuraba Kouta. Even if he was a fool, he was my friend, for a time. And you... you're my brother. Even if I thought you were a fool for trying to go about things the way you did... you're my brother.
Do you think that it's something I enjoyed? Even with being 'blinded'... it was enough that I saw you everywhere after that.
[He doesn't want to say outright 'I felt guilty', but... at least his brother should pick that much up.]
I have nothing left anymore, and it's because of what I did. No, 'disappointed' isn't all I feel about it.
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It's difficult to tell how you might feel. ... I believed Ryouma to be a dear friend of mine as well, though it makes me wonder if he ever regretted what he did to me.
[Takatora has no idea where all of his relationships went so wrong. Ryouma had been such a strong, comforting presence in his life for so long. And Mitsuzane, his precious younger brother...
He's willing to take a chance on being hurt more, because right now Mitsuzane isn't the only one who feels as though he's lost everything. Cautiously, he reaches up to grab Mitsuzane's shoulder, tugging him in the rest of the way to hold him securely against his chest, one arm wrapped around his back.]
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[He lets his hands rest against his sides, and closes his eyes. He doesn't say anything, just tries not to cry and tries not to let his breath start hitching like it keeps threatening to do.]
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It really does hurt, to think of all the sacrifices he'd made and all the time he'd spent trying to save the world. ... and this is how it ends, with all of his work being for nothing. Nearly half of his life wasted.]
... I'm sorry, Mitsuzane.
[Takatora's not even sure what he's apologizing for, but he feels like his brother needs to hear it. At the very least, maybe he's apologizing for never being there for his brother in the first place. Maybe that would have changed things, somehow.]
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[He pulls away a little, gently, and looks at Isamu, half a smile on his lips.]
At least I have Pokemon that are better at being heroes than I ever could be. Isn't that right, Isamu?
[The Lucario straightens up, looking somewhat pleased with himself - and the change in his Trainer's aura.]
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Now that the two are apart, Sylveon whines softly and pads back to Takatora, lightly pawing at his leg to be picked back up. He can tell his trainer is still very sad and wants to help him, somehow.]
Do you feel it's helped you, being here?
[Takatora doesn't look down at Sylveon, but he does put one hand back down to his side, which Sylveon gratefully accepts by wrapping one of his feelers around it and pressing his body against Takatora's leg.]
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[He does have his obligations to Team Rocket, but breaking from them right now would just be foolish - and possibly dangerous.]
There are some people who... understand more than I could have imagined. They don't know everything that happened, of course, but... some of them know enough. And Isamu and another one of my Pokemon tend to drag me back whenever I start to get off track. Training them is... interesting, and somewhat humbling in other ways. They can be extremely powerful and extremely intelligent. Even the smallest of them are much smarter than any sort of animal I've ever seen at home.