my heart's not fluttering or anything

[quadrangle]

Who: Hamsteaks,Team RWPY, & Dipper
Where: GOLDENROD INN, specifically Dave and Karkat's room but possibly others as well? It depends.
When: 3/5, afternoonish/evening/well into the wee hours of 3/6
Summary: A certain travel party largely consisting of traumatized teenagers initiates a team building exercise, AKA sleepover. This is clearly the best idea ever and will in no way backfire at all.
Rating: PG-13 for, uh. Homestuck vocabularies.
Log:

[Despite having been in their immediate vicinity for three weeks, Karkat had somehow managed to avoid talking to most of the people in their group for any significant length of time. A lot of it was personal preference because yes, he was still intermittently freaking out about being a human surrounded by humans, but the fact that he'd blown up at two of the other party members and probably guaranteed that Jade or Dave or both would be auspisticizing between them for the foreseeable future (oh god please no) didn't help matters. He'd rather stay in his damn room or hide in the local bookstore than deal with any of that bullshit.

Unfortunately, maintaining his busy schedule of staying the fuck away from other people as much as possible was untenable, especially when his best friends were also their friends and he literally had no excuse to keep putting it off—unless he could say he needed to take his Pokemon on a walk? Do people even take Pokemon on walks? Would Dave even buy that when neither Merope nor Sharru have shown the slightest amount of interest in going on walks? Well, okay, no, Dave might not even care, but Jade...

Either way, the moment his roommate decides on the impromptu movie night, sends out texts to inform the others, and begins putting together a Sweet Throh and Hella Sawk flyer for their door to mark the occasion (why is he friends with this moron again) is the moment Karkat's fate is sealed.

They're going to have a sleepover, and everyone is invited.]

Comments

[quadrangle]

[... Motherfucker. Also, what.]

You're seriously including "ass." That's a thing you're doing right now.

[He'd assumed as much, but seeing it written down alongside the practically useless "first damn is free" is starting to make the reality of the situation sink in. It also makes him tempted to ask if this means that other body parts would also be on the list, but yeah, no, he already knows. Fuck. At least she probably won't recognize terms for troll anatomy? Or would Dave and Jade wind up telling her just to fuck with him?

God. Fucking. Dammit.]

I'm not agreeing to this horseshit.

[yanginthere]

...well, okay. [ She strikes through "ass" a couple of times. ] Calling someone an ass can be warranted sometimes. Just as long as it isn't abused. [ Kind of like "damn", except more subjective. She can think of a few people that deserve that title and wear it proudly; present company mostly excluded. ]

Better?

[quadrangle]

Get rid of "damn" and add "the first five 'fucks' are free" and I might consider it.

[He does pause, though, glancing at the door.]

And give everyone else input.

[Maybe he can get Dave on his side. Probably not Jade. Jade is going to enjoy this too much. Fuck, he needs to get to Dave fast if he's going to stop her from winning him over first, why isn't he just vetoing this right now, he's still the leader, right? Haha, no.]

[yanginthere]

Nuh-uh. That's too easy. [ She tapped her chin with the end of the pencil. ]

Besides, I planned on running it past them, but they're pretty chill about this stuff already. Especially on my Team.

[quadrangle]

[... but what is he going to do if he can't say the word "fuck." Well, all right, he has plenty of other words in his arsenal, but how the fuck long will it take before they're added, too? Goddammit, Yang!]

"Chill" as in you know they'll fucking agree with you. And you outnumber us.

[And he's. Not actually sure about the younger human, Dipper. What the hell.]

Would this shit be in effect all the time or just when the sanctity of your delicate auricular sponge clots and feelings are on the line?

[yanginthere]

[ Don't let it ever be said that Yang isn't fair. ] My sister doesn't get to vote because familial bias. [ She's... pretty sure Jade and Dave aren't related. Probably.

Dipper is the wildcard but, even then, he's like 12 or something so she's not even sure if she wants to let him see the list. ]

Hey, if you and your friends don't have a problem with this kind of language privately, that's fine. I'm mostly worried about the kids. [ Said smol human, Ruby, and Penny. "Kids" is a relative age here. ]

[quadrangle]

[Okay, that is pretty fair. Ish. Still a little obnoxious, but. Also, yeah, what was that?]

"Kids?"

[Yeah sorry, incredulous as fuck over here.]

I can understand you wanting to protect your sister, but she's, what, se... uh, fifteen? And Dipper's nearly thirteen. How long are you planning on keeping this shit from them?

[yanginthere]

[ She just shoots him an incredulous look right back. ] No offense? But you don't look old enough to be talking like that, either. My uncle's had a rough life, and even when drunk he didn't swear around us.

[ Being compared to Qrow is not exactly a high honor. ]

[quadrangle]

[Oh no. Time for a glare.]

I'm sixteen. How the fuck old do I have to be before you stop giving me shit over it? Have you even talked to Jade or Dave about this? They swear, too.

[yanginthere]

[ Yang shrugged. The truth is there is no hardline answer, but she's never heard anyone at school going off quite like this, even under pressure, so... ]

Really? I haven't heard them. I plan on putting it to a vote so I guess we'll see soon.

[quadrangle]

... So you're literally putting this fucking swear jar thing into effect because of me.

[He came here to have a good time and he's honestly feeling so attacked right now. Also, this is one of the blackest things anyone's ever done to him and it's coming from a fucking human, why is this his life? And Yang doesn't even realize it! How the fuck does he make it stop?

He pinches the bridge of his nose and counts silently to ten, or rather tries. He only makes it to four.]

Sure! Put it to a vote! Let's fucking commence this human public shaming ritual, I am beside myself with exuberance at the thought! What's next, a shiny new placronym for me to hang around my neck saying "Foaming Shitmouth?" I take it back, you should use the funds to buy me one of those!

[yanginthere]

[ She's just going to let him attempt to come to terms with this and maybe, just maybe, calm down a bit.

Yang's starting to run low on faith in Karkat; also, patience. She grit her teeth and took a long, deep breath. ]

That sign would defeat the point, but— [ Now she's pointing a bar of soap at him, because she can and it was right there by her hand anyway. ] —if you want, I could start with rinsing your mouth out! Or is that another silly human expression you're not comfortable with, right alongside "respecting boundaries"?

[quadrangle]

—"Respecting boundaries?!"

[All right, so if the rest of the partygoers couldn't hear them up until this point, they can definitely hear Karkat now.]

YOU'VE BEEN BLACKFLIRTING WITH ME SINCE THE DAY WE MET AND YOU'RE TALKING TO ME ABOUT FUCKING BOUNDARIES?!

[callbacks]

[From the other side of the door:]

Indoor voices, fuckface, we're trying to play Truth or Dare out here.

[yanginthere]

[ Dave she knows you're probably trying to help but as soon as Jade has barged in, Yang is leaning out and fixing him with a glare. And using her Mom Voice. ]

Dave!

[ — and Jade is swearing too but that seems to be the only way Karkat communicates so she isn't about to stop her. Hypocrite? A little bit. ]

[callbacks]

[Oh no, not the Mom Voice.]

What, what did I do?

[yanginthere]

[ She let out a quick, exasperated sigh. Yang stepped into view, arms crossed. ] Uh, the swearing??

Why do you think I've got Karkat in here anyway?

[ There is no way anyone could have known. ]

[yanginthere]

What?! NO!! I don't even know what what MEANS!! I just want you to shu—!!

[ Oh hey that sure was the sound of the door behind her. Yang halted and stepped aside to keep from getting hit with it. Whoever barged is in going to see Yang wielding a sharpie in one hand and a bar of soap in the other. ]

[eclectictype]

KARKAT HOLY FUCK!

[Yep, it's Jade, completely bypassing what Yang is holding or doing to scold Karkat.]

Nobody is hateflirting with you, for fuck's sake! Humans don't do hatemance! Why don't you, for once, stop being a hypocritical shitbaby and respect human culture?!

[She is about five seconds away from taking him by the ear and pulling him out of there, don't test her.]

[quadrangle]

[Karkat is just opening his mouth to either a) correct this ignorant human about her obviously flawed assumptions, b) launch intoaa lengthy explanation of quadrants, c) yell more about anything, or d) some combination of the above when Jade barges in and holy fuck he has never been happier to see her in his life.]

Oh thank god you're here, you—what the fuck do you mean, hypocrite?! YOU'RE the ones who keep tripping over quadrants like you're playing fucking tic-tac-toe!

[Well, that didn't last long.]

[usedglaciate]

[Do you see this? This is what Weiss looks like when she's fed up and about to read people the riot act.]

What in the world are all of you doing, and why is everyone swearing so much that there will be a blue cloud in the air for years?!

[in4apounding]

[Well, that sure all happened. Penny takes a second trying to absorb just... everything that happened in about a second or so, a piece of popcorn halfway to her mouth.]

...Wait, Karkat and Yang? When did that happen?

[She thought Yang had better taste than that, but okay.]

[eclectictype]

Oh my god no, no Penny, no.

[Jade holds up her hands in an X formation.]

Noooooo. It's just dumb troll romance stuff, it does not apply to humans at all. I am fairly certain, even if we did such things, Yang would have a better option for rivalmances than Karkat.

[yanginthere]

[ Raises her hand. ]

Uh. I'm still right here?

[ And apparently taking a moment from preparing the final version of the Swear Jar Rules for voting to talk about... dating?? ] What's going on?

[in4apounding]

Nothing, apparently! I was just worried for a second that you were making a sort of terrible romantic choice.

[Sorry Karkat. She's sort of beginning to understand the 'jerk friend' concept, but kismesitude is too alien.]

I guess I misheard!