Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

[matini]

Who: Homestuck cast (sob too many to list)
Where: Somewhere in Goldenrod City that can handle all these chillens
When: Christmas Day
Summary: Christmas Shenanigans with any and all Homestucks!
Rating: C for Cute, M for the mouths of Striders because DANG, YOU GUYS. WASH YOUR MOUTHS.
Log:

Comments

[hoperaider]

[Jake isn't going to be able to look at Dirk or Jane without blushing for a few days himself. Alcohol is evil and he'll never drink it. He chuckles a little.]

I don't think you've ever half-assed something.

[Whether Jake doesn't notice it or simply...doesn't wish to bring it up is probably irrelevant.]

[shippingmath]

[Unless Mom Lalonde keeps spiking everything, anyway. In the meantime, Dirk steps away and takes his hand off Jake's neck.]

Never in my life. C'mon, let's get cookies or some shit.

[hoperaider]

[He jumps at this cookie business. Better than thinking about the implications of kissing your good attractive friends!]

Cookies sound lovely.

[shippingmath]

[Except Dirk's probably going to find a candy cane or something to start licking. Can't escape, Jake!]

Meet you in the kitchen then. I'm going to get a drink.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Guess who saw everything? This guy. He'll be leaning in the doorway as Dirk heads off to get a drink. Once Dirk is close enough, he's just going to call out teasingly,]

Gaaaaaay~

[shippingmath]

[It's one thing to hear that from Roxy. It's another thing entirely to hear it from an adult, especially an adult version of himself. He goes stiff as he hears it.

He's maybe a bit defensive about this crush.]

Do you have something to say that isn't an antiquated term?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nope.

[He just gives him a smirk.]

Wait- yeah! I do. One the scale of One to I wanna fuck his brains out, how much d'you like him?

[shippingmath]

[So much keysmashing in his head.]

Somewhere between it's complicated and fuck off. Is there any particular reason you care?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[You'll live, Dirk.]

Why wouldn't I care? You're mini-me. I feel like it's my job, if you like this guy, to see to it that you win your man. Especially because that little show was, and I don't mean this in a rude way, awkward as fuck and I say this as a spectator. I can only imagine how it must've felt to be a part of it.

[shippingmath]

I can win him without help, I'm not incredibly incompetent, perceived awkwardness aside. Setting anything up is completely unnecessary. Besides, as previously mentioned, it's complicated.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I know you're not incompetent. That's actually the last thing I thought about you, even if you may think I'm just being an ass. I just figure I have a little more experience in the matter that you could benefit from is all.

[He folds his arms and raises his eyebrows slightly.]

Y'know you can talk to me. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? I'm you. Who better to discuss this kinda shit with than yourself?

[Besides, he's also just really damn curious. Or maybe nosy is the correct word. And he kinda just wants to get to know his little self better.]

[shippingmath]

[Dirk just folds his arms the same way. Well, Bro's going to find out a bit more about him now, just not what he wanted to, really.]

Speaking from experience, an alternate version of myself is exactly who I don't want to go to in this situation. I've had an AI version of myself all up in my business ever since I made him, I don't need you interfering.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because clearly I'm the same as an AI, that's some real damn good logic right there.

[He won't admit it, but he's. Disappointed by this outcome. He'd really hoped he could get along with himself, but clearly he's going to be a stubborn little bastard.]

If you don't want my help though, then fine.

[shippingmath]

The AI part isn't the most important. The 'version of me' bit is. What would you even do that would be so helpful?

[He's not stubborn so much as he is defensive, mostly at the implication that he needs help, even coming from an older version of himself. He'll improve himself, like he's always done, even if he needs to build the tools for it on his own.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro just gives him a shrug.]

Well I dunno what I'd do that's helpful, considering I don't know the circumstances. I can't just pull help out of my ass without knowing shit. But considering you don't wanna talk to me, I can't help then, can I?

[shippingmath]

A very astute observation you've made there.

[And now, if Bro doesn't stop him, Dirk is going to do his best to escape away from his older double.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Of course Bro is going to stop him. He can't just let it go now that it's obvious Dirk doesn't want anything to do with him. So he moves in front of Dirk, blocking his way.]

What the fuck is your problem?

[shippingmath]

I don't need you meddling in things for your own reasons.

[He's defensive. Not that he's about to admit that.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Who says I have my own reasons? Do I need any other reason to help aside from wanting to see you succeed? 'sides, we don't even gotta talk about this shit. It's more like I'm just wondering what the fuck your problem is because you don't seem to wanna stay in the same goddamn room as me for longer than you have to.

[shippingmath]

Perhaps it would be because you both witnessed and commented on something I wasn't particularly wanting to show off.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You didn't get a room, it wasn't exactly a private affair.

[shippingmath]

I didn't shout 'hey, me and Jake are snogging, come look,' either. If you're as much like me as you figure, I thought you would understand that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Why d'you care so much who sees and who doesn't, anyway? I don't get why it's such a big deal.

[He honestly doesn't care who the hell sees him kissing. He can't really understand why Dirk is making such a big deal over it.]

If you want me to apologize for it, then I'm sorry but I'm not going to. The fact of the matter is I saw it and I can't change that. You really gonna hold it against me?

[shippingmath]

Because it's a complicated situation.

[Because everybody likes Jake.]

I'm not asking you to get out the brain bleach and wipe your memory, I'm just requesting that maybe, if it's not too much for you, [He's being snippy and that's probably not going to help his case, but he's not about to stop] you could avoid doing anything about it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Fine! [He sounds snippy, too.] I was just trying to god damn help, but if you don't want it, then fine. Good luck solvin' it yourself. Excuse the hell outta me for trying to be helpful.