route_1065 | Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

Wh -- no, it's okay! I mean it, really! [dkgdjfjkhklfsdjlkfdhjlksfdkjlgdfkdjfjk He's too tall and she can't just youth roll through his legs atm, she's too uncoordinated for this no no no no nonononono aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH] I mean they obviously like each other and I want them to be happy anyway so it's great!

[He can definitely tell that she wants to abscond, and he's prepared to block her should she try.] Yeah, it is obvious. But you know what else is starting to become obvious, too? You like one of'em, too. So. Which of the booties d'you wanna touch? Is it mini me? I wouldn't blame you, I had a damn fine ass at that age.

[lkdgkffsjklkjlasgdkjjk older Dirk why are you doing this. Jane ends up holding her face in both hands, shaking her head slowly. Then again, wondering where Jake was earlier could be the hint, since she's unable to say a damn thing.]

[He's having far too much fun with this. He knows he should feel bad, but he doesn't. At least not at first. But the longer he stares at her and sees how helpless she looks, he definitely starts feeling twinges of guilt. God damn it.]

Alright, alright. C'mon, let's go outside. You could probably use some fresh air.

[He takes her by the shoulder and gently begins trying to guide her to the door.]

[The high point of being drunk has now finished; the low point is now a thing. Jane at least lets him guide her out the door, nodding in agreement to the need for fresh air; she can't stand taking down her hands just yet because now she just feels like crying and her face is red for that reason instead of embarrassment.

Pushing her glasses on top of her head, Jane just goes back to hiding her face in entirety now.]

[On the way out, Bro grabs a glass of water and makes sure she doesn't have any alcohol on her by the time they make it outside. But first remind him why the hell he suggested this? Even with his new Christmas swag, he feels like he's slowly becoming a Brocicle.

He's not gonna show it, though. There are priorities and cold isn't on the list right now.

Bro offers her the drink and places a hand on her shoulder.]

Alright, bullshit aside. Talk to me.

[At least she's not put off from talking since he gives off the same air of comfort that Dirk does, but it's still... well. The topic. She's already spoke to a couple people about her feelings regarding Jake now and it's becoming embarrassing. First, Jane is accepting that drink and taking a sip, wiping her face with a sleeve.]

I'm.. I'm not really sure where to start. Jake is too damn sweet for his own good. Handsome and a complete gentleman, and always with that smile.. [Maybe it's easier to start than she thought.]

[Oh, so he was wrong. Oops. Up until now he'd actually been assuming that it was Dirk, since she'd been so awkward about it towards him. He figured it'd be embarrassing to admit to crushing on his younger self. But oh well, he can handle this.]

First of all, I'm kinda disappointed it's not Dirk. Everyone should totally wanna tap that. [He's kidding, he's trying to lighten the mood a little bit.] But seriously. I can kinda see why you're so upset. You like him, but he likes Dirk? Are you sure about that, though? Because when they kissed, it looked pretty damn awkward to me.

If you ask Roxy, er.. the one from my time, not Ms. Lalonde here, she has a thing for Dirk, but he always turns her down. [It does prompt a small smile out of her with the little joke, but she lowers her eyes again into the water.]

Are you.. sure? Jake is a bit dense but I mean, kissing is about as blunt as it gets.

[Whoa, his teenage self turns down the advances of Roxanne's teenage self? That's really fuckin' weird to Bro, considering how much he wants to pork that. But that's beside the point, and he needs to focus on other things.]

Well you do know that the house is full of mistletoe, don't you? Of course you do, considering you ambushed me under one. I think it's safe to assume something similar happened with them. It seems to me that Dirk's got a thing for the guy, so it's entirely possible that Dirk set it up so that Jake had no choice but to kiss him.

I do know that, and I didn't ambush you! Goodness.

[Taking another drink of the water, Jane just sighs and looks out into the snow instead.] I suppose so, though don't mistletoe kisses generally stay.. well. Simple? The way you said it made it sound as if they were both really into it.

You totally ambushed me.

[And he's just going to give her a really flat look at that.]

Have you not realized I exaggerate things 98% of the time? I mean, honestly.

[She would have rolled her eyes about the ambushing again, but that flat look has her frowning and looking down at her feet.] No. I've never really had reason to disbelieve the phrasing unless it was edged with the usual Strider irony.

You have no idea how irony works, do you? There was irony in me saying they were macking on each other when it was really just a whole ugly, awkward affair.

[Gosh, he hates having to explain irony.]

But yeah, protip: I exaggerate a whole fucking lot.

[Rubs her face a bit, nodding somewhat.] Yes, I think I see what you mean now, at least by knowing the whole story. Now all I've done is make myself look foolish..

[He nods, too.]

Yeah, you kinda did. But y'know, we're all fools in love, or however that saying goes. I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you.

... I'm sorry, for all of that. [In the end, she's trying to force a smile on her face.] Thank you for explaining, at least.

[He gives her a pat on the back, rolling his eyes softly behind his shades.] Don't worry about it. I'm here if you wanna talk more. It occurs to me I ain't actually gave you any advice yet, but man this is a sticky subject considering I'd be giving you advice on how to steal the boy out from under mini-me...

What? Oh, no, no don't worry about it. I.. well, I just want Jake to be happy. [The pat is appreciated enough, where she moves and gives him a quick hug.] As much as I might need the advice, you're right in how you say it.

[Oh. Well, that sure is a hug he just got. Man he's so unused to that kind of shit that it catches him off guard, though he doesn't terribly mind. After a moment, he lets out a sigh. He wants to help, but he really doesn't want to alienate Dirk either. It's a fucking complicated situation.]

I tell you what... Here's some advice for a hypothetical situation. No names or anything attached. Y'know, for the future, if you ever find yourself in a totally different yet weirdly similar situation with other people.

Say you're crushing on this guy, but someone else is too. This guy is blissfully unaware of the fact he's got two hot bitches craving his muffins, which may or may not be english in this scenario. But since this is a different hypothetical situation, they aren't english.

Anyway. I'd say it'd be worth it to try and get those muffins first, sway their affections over to you before the other person can get there. Because who's to say you wouldn't make 'em just as happy, or even happier, as that other person?

[He shrugs.]

I dunno, like I said. That's advice for a totally different situation which doesn't have any relevance to this current little predicament. So I honestly don't even know why I said any of it.

[He's so full of shit right now, but he honestly couldn't just not help out. He just hopes she knows not to throw him under the bus if it ever comes up.]

[In the end, she listens to the advice even if she was certain he should have stayed quiet; Jane winds up with a gentle smile, nodding.]

Yes, it's.. good advice. I'll keep it in mind if I come across a situation like that in the future. [Nah, she won't. It's the wind zipping by that has Jane shivering and sheepishly laughing a touch.]

I suppose we should get back inside before we become icicles, hm?

[He should've, but he's definitely too stubborn for that.]

Good. And yeah, probably. I already feel kinda like a Stricicle. [He moves to walk away, before turning back to her.]

Good luck with you know what, eh?

Yes, thank you. [Nodding again and that smile remains, before she's stepping after him to bounce up on her toes and sneak a kiss to his cheek, before moving inside.]

[He opens his mouth to speak, but suddenly she's leaning up to kiss him and it stops him. Before he can say anything, she's already moving inside and he just rolls his eyes, a smile crossing his lips for a few seconds before he lets it fade away and steps in behind her.]

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

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it was out of appreciation, bro

abububu they're so cute