route_1065 | [closed]

... I imagine you would need to. [Which, honestly, is something he should have done in more detail himself, thinking about it. Damn.]

[He's not sure where to start, but at this point, he figures he'll talk and make sense of things as he goes. The Great War, the Depression, Gremany, the Second World War, all of that is deeply connected, both for his life and the world.]

My country is very young, it's made up of fifty states [well, not at that time but details] that're united together as one. The United States of America. We're a melting pot, a country founded and populated by immigrants and their descendants. The land of dreams and freedom. [as he speaks, he gets out his drawing pad and pencil, sketching out a quick map as he continues to speak]

In the early 1900's, the world was going through an industrial revolution, we were swiftly becoming a powerful country, but we were separate from the older countries, oceans on both sides of America separated us. And because of that, America adhered to isolationism.

[He leans forward to show Hope the basic map and point out America, then the other countries as he mentions them] When Germany, a country in Europe, across the Atlantic Ocean, started a massive war in Europe, it lasted for over four years. In the last year, France and Great Britain implored America for help, we gave it. My father, who was newly immigrated to America from Ireland and now citizen, volunteered to go over to aid them. Ireland was involved in the war, he had a lot to fight for.

He died a couple months before I was born from Mustard Gas. It's a horrible way to die. [Horrible is a gentle word for it, but Steve doesn't say it sadly, he heard only hero like stories of his father, he idolized him and his sacrifice.]

[Hope leans forward to study the simple map of Earth. It seems like war can happen in any world. Hope doesn't know a lot about Earth, but he does know that there are in fact countries and such. Just not their names or how different one country is from another.

It seems though that there are a lot of differences. Possibly even as different as Cocoon to Gran Pulse to Academia. There are regions where the countries are inside of, not just regions or 'states' within them, if this Europe land is anything to go by.]

I'm sorry, Steve. [He doesn't know what this mustard gas is, but Hope knows the death of a parent-- both, in fact. He never mentioned that his father had died as well, but it's... It's very heavily implied at least.]

[Steve nods at the condolence. He tries to think of how to explain women and the time period, it's so important to a few parts of his story and he feels that women weren't nearly as oppressed in Hope's world as they were in Steve's.]

Women at that time were expected to be housewives. To get married, to have babies, to take care of the house, and be there for their husbands, not much else. The people around my mother were supportive because my father died in war, but after a while, they expected her to move on and get remarried since we had no family to lean on. My mother didn't really go in for that, she was a tough broad. She raised me, got a job, and lived independently, all of which were very frowned on and shunned for it, when really she was a great woman, a hero ahead of her time.

[His mother was everything to him, it hurts sometimes to think of her, but it also gives him a sense of warmth. If only people were more tolerant back then, she deserved better than she got.]

My mother had it really rough, because I was born very sick and weak. A few doctors didn't think I'd last a year, but my mum was a nurse, she kept me alive. My health would be horrible, nearly killing me more than a few times, for the next 26 years of my life. I was tiny for my age, skin and bones, barely able to run a block without gasping for air, it was kind of sad really. [Steve huffs a very soft laugh, because wow his old body really didn't fit his spirit, yet sometimes he has moments where he really misses it.]

[Hope tilts his head of the side, taking in this information. now that is downright strange-- for the next twenty-six years of his life? What, he hadn't gotten like this when he reached puberty?]

And yet here you are.

[Waves a hand at Steve. Or more precisely, that musculature which he has difficulty finding words for, and would rather not voice, because yes he's only human, but they're not appropriate for the situation.]

Mothers are powerful, but I don't feel as if she made you like this-- even if she really did want you to be healthy as possible.

[Steve nods, he figured it would cause confusion mentioning his health.]

Yeah, I'll explain how I got about a foot taller and 100 pounds of muscle heavier, but that comes later in this story.

[He pauses to take a breath, because he isn't ready to think about all that just yet. That's something he'll have to work up to. With a nod, he's ready to continue.]

Life was tough, but we made it for a while. My mum worked as a nurse in a TB... uh Tuberculosis ward. [He stalls for a second to think of how to explain the disease, he's not sure how much has changed regarding it over the years he slept.] Basically, your lungs fill with liquid, you cough and have trouble breathing, your body slowly shuts down, and you die, pretty much drown. It's not a good way to go. We had no cure for it then, we thought we did, but not really. And it's highly contagious, so the people treating often caught it. My mother... she, uh, she was one of them. [it's been so many years since he's had to talk about it beyond just saying she died of it. It's strangely more painful than he expected.]

[Hope is not sure what to think of that kind of disease. He's not a doctor, not even an anatomy expert, so he has no idea how lungs can be filled with liquid without being in water itself. But drowning, no matter the cause, is not a pleasant thing. Hope's been thrown too much Water spells to not know what it's like.]

Again, I'm sorry.

[Steve nods his acceptance of the apology.]

She told me never to quit, because she knew, as I did, that everyone would tell me I couldn't do something or turn me away because of how small and frail I was. She said I had no quit in me, she was right.

I was just about nine when she died, left on my own in a time that was unfriendly to orphans. It wasn't long before I was getting in trouble, I took on bullies when they picked on people, didn't matter if they were twice my age and three times my size, I stood up to them. Got my ass kicked because of it, I don't run or back down, just take the punches and keep standing up. [He pauses, it doesn't feel like he's about to mention Bucky, but he is and he knows the pain that will stab his heart by doing so.] How I made my first friend, James Barnes, or Bucky as we all called him. Guess I impressed him when I wouldn't run and he came to my rescue. Friends ever since. I'd get in trouble and he'd get me out of it.

Then came the Great Depression. Every major economy around the world crashed, causing hundreds of thousands of people to lose their money, their homes, their jobs, everything. It all hit the gutter and only kept getting worse. Bucky and I were lucky to get proper meals. Uh, he was an orphan too, don't think I mentioned that. Kind of made us more like brothers than friends.

[He looks at his hands, remembering how thin they were, how he was lucky to get through high school, how he had to make one pair of shoes last him six year, even after he outgrew them. Pennies were worth more and no food went to waste, even if molded and rotten, you made it work.]

[The Great Depression? A worldwide economical collapse? He doesn't understand that too much-- what kind of calamity would have cause that? There are a lot of things about Earth he doesn't know, but it seems the more he finds out, the more questions he has.

He wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, because this is clearly not a story about that.

Details of that can wait.

Hope doesn't say a word, but motions with his hand that Steve can go on, because he's listening carefully.]

It wasn't all bad, I had Bucky. Life was hard, but it was hard for everyone. We survived and made it, barely for me with my health, but we got to adulthood alright. [And it was, it was just fine. Steve doesn't have many bad memories of hsi childhood, it just was what it was.] I earned up some money, got some loans, got into art school. I wanted to make a living off art, my mother always said to go after my dreams and since my other dream of joining the army wasn't ever going to come true, I went for art. Took a few years and by the time it happened another war erupted in Europe.

This time much worse. [he looks a bit distant, remembering the horrible things he saw, how long that had happened, for years before he could come and change the course of the war, or that's what the history books say.]

[Hope makes a completely shocked noise in his throat. Another war just years after the first one seems to be far too much, especially during a huge economical crisis such as this Depression.

How did people even manage to think of doing this?

War takes money, equipment, so much training and people's own lives. Hope spent too much when he was a l'Cie, but he had been a fugitive then. How would people still trying to pick up after themselves even think of waging another war?

Why would they even want to do such a thing?

He doesn't talk though. Steve needs to go on.]

[Steve looks up at the noise and gives a nod like he can understand the reasoning for that noise. The war was so unexpected in America, but after going overseas and being there, he learned it wasn't.]

See, the war before that was known at the Great War, but it soon caught a new name. World War I. This is because the next one was caused by the one before it, but more of the world was involved this time and it was much much worse. World War II.

World War I was stared by Germany and they lost, deeply. The winning countries abused Germany and left them in a destitute state, they went from a powerful country to the mud of Europe. Before the Depression even and that only made it worse. [Steve is actually very displeased about this. If only Europe had helped Germany a little, millions of lives wouldn't have died.] The German people were desperate for a way out.

Then came Hitler. All powerful speeches and offering ways out. And the sad thing is, he did help them, they went from a starving desolate country to one of the most powerful nations in the world in a very short number of years. But Hitler preached hate. So, much hate. He was a bully really. [Steve has to pause for a second, he feels sick at giving Hitler any kind of praise like he just did, but facts are facts and it sickens him.]

[Now see, Hope understands that better-- people had tried to return the community back to its old ways, trying to revive the Sanctum after the Fall, but Hope had a hand in stopping that.

Though this? This is too extreme.]

He hated the others, didn't he. [Because that's what bullies do.]

In a way, yes. He wanted to put everyone who hurt his country under his thumb, but no, his hate was a bit more specific than that. Well, in a way. [Steve sighs again and plays with one of Graces ears gently as he talks. She gives a comforting grumble at him. He knows not all the facts are probably right anymore, but he could only read so much about the war before it made him sick and angry.]

He had an ideal of a "superior" race of people. The Aryan race. Blond haired, blue eyes, white skin, and powerful. [Yes, he's aware he just described himself, the Commandos made jokes about Hitler getting beat by his ideal many times.] Anyone who failed to meet that was "inferior". Though, the Jews were a special kind of hate for him. He hated them more than anything else, I heard a number of reasons why, not sure which is true, but if he could only pick one thing to hate, it would have been them.

[The word 'Aryan' doesn't mean a thing to Hope, but apparently he's looking at an example of them. Or even Snow, considering he fits that particular description as well.

Hope doesn't understand though-- again, more cultural things that he would definitely not know about.

More and more questions, and Hope really wants to ask, but he's already interrupted, and he would rather not again so soon.]

[Steve realizes that Hope probably has no idea what a Jew is. Oops.] Oh. Uh, Judaism is a very old religion, the Jews have been persecuted many times over their long history, and because of their origin or something, many of them have a certain look. Brown hair, brown eyes, white to tan colored skin. So, he hated them and they were nothing like his ideal.

America was isolationist over it all again. It was Europe's problem to them I guess, my country just stayed out of it. We got very little wind of what was going on over there. We knew it was bad, but what we knew was just scratching the surface. Germany invaded many countries, Poland got hit hardest, had a very high Jewish population. People were dying in the war. That's all we really knew. [He puts off saying what they did find for later.

As he continues to talk, he grabs his world map he drew and finishes the world as he goes, to make sure Hawaii and Japan are in there] For a few years, we only watched from across our oceans, then Japan entered the war, first attacking China then setting their sights on us. They attacked Pearl Harbor. [He points out things as he explains.] We entered the war. Our men volunteered and were drafted, sending them to fight both in Europe and against Japan.

Yet, they didn't want me. My body, my sickness, it made me completely unusable to the military.

Edited 2013-08-14 06:32 (UTC)

[A country had seen an opportunity and taken it-- at least that's what he thinks happened with Japan and its sudden interference. That country Hope has heard of quite a bit, as there seems to be a lot of Japanese people in this world.

He can understand now though, just a little better, as he watches Steve finish his drawn map. Now he knows why it was called World War II. And he keeps quiet because he's close to getting answers for one of his original questions-- Steve's condition.

What changed, what made him different when he had described himself as such a small human.

Bucky was strapping guy. All big and healthy and ready to send to war, but he stayed behind a while to help me train, get healthier. I don't want to kill people, I don't want to get in there to get my slice of glory, I wanted to do my part. The Nazis, Hitler's social party, were bullies, they needed to be stopped. People were laying down their lives and in my mind, even now, I had no right to do any less than them. People didn't get that, they thought I was trying to prove myself, this weak little scrap of a person just trying to prove he was as good as everyone else. I didn't need to prove that, I was as good as anyone, so I didn't see why I couldn't put myself on the line and fight for people's lives and freedom.

Finally we enlisted. I got rejected. And though it was illegal to lie on the form, I put down a different address and tried four more times in different places, and I got rejected every single time. Bucky got in. He was handsome in the uniform.

[he can feel the weight in his pocket. As much as it hurt to have them, it hurt more to not have them in reach every minute now that he did have them.]

I tried once more at a fair, the night before Bucky left. We said goodbye and I tried my luck. There I met Doctor Erskine. He gave me the shot that no one else would. He enlisted me with only the promise of it being a chance, but I took it.

[When the title "doctor" comes up, Hope perks up considerably. Not that he's been inattentive-- but the word doctor implies there's some kind of science involved.]

What kind of doctor is he?

[Steve can't help the small smile he gives Hope. It shouldn't have been surprising on any level that Hope would perk up at the mention of Dr. Erskine.]

He was a scientist, pretty sure he focused on medicine and chemistry. Completely brilliant for his day and age. [He remembers reading about all the super soldier programs after him, how they tried to replicate it but no one ever could. Only Erskine ever truly solved it and it died with him and lives on in Steve.]

... Oh.

[He thinks he understands now, just what happened to Steve. Well, not quite, since he doesn't know medicine and only has a rudimentary understanding of chemistry, nor how exactly medicine works on Earth, but he thinks he has an idea.

It's still Steve's story though, and he honestly would like to know more.]

Did you manage to get accepted?

Eventually. First I went to boot camp, I was in a running to get in, but until I passed a few tests, I wouldn't know for sure. [Steve pauses, remembering seeing Peggy for the first time. How she punched that big dummy for making fun of her and her accent. From the first day she impressed him, from the first day he knew she was someone he wanted to know better. Maybe dance with.

After a long moment of silence, a fond smile on his face as he remembers her, he swallows and continues.] It's during my time at the camp that I met Colonel Phillips and Agent Peggy Carter. Colonel Phillips was pretty unimpressed with me, I was some scrawny no body, not worth a second of his time or attention. Peggy, I think she was impressed with me some. Like her, I didn't give up because people thought I should, I used my brain over my brawn and never gave up even when my body felt like it was going to collapse and my lungs were on fire.

Then, we were training one day, all was normal, and Colonel Phillips threw a grenade at us, an explosive, and while everyone scattered, I threw myself on it, to take the brunt of the blast. It was a dud. That's when I got picked. That's when my whole life changed.

[Hope rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward, chin on his hand. He looks thoughtful, but in fact he's more than just a little shocked of Steve willingly sacrificing himself-- even if nothing really happened in the end-- and he wants to hide it.

There's also a little bit of distress there, because really.]

What happened?

I became the center of Project Rebirth, a super soldier program. Erskine had a failure before me, but this time wasn't a failure. They strapped me in, pumped me full of serum, and then I'm a foot taller, the peek of human health, and 100 pounds heavier with muscle.

Then, [Steve pauses, it's been years, but still, it's never easy talking about a friend's death] Erskine got shot by a Hydra spy and killed. Hydra was a Nazi scientific division. I caught the killer, but he killed himself before we could get much information from him. All of Erskine's work and formulas died with him. I was the one and only real success.

But I was just a science project, Phillips had me benched and tried to send me off to be researched while he, Howard, and Peggy went off to war, but a Congressman stood up and had me do something only slightly less worse. A USO tour.

[Hope manages to follow through most of it-- he doesn't know what kind of serum would be able to do such a thing though, but then again, he doesn't know much about serums because he's not into chemistry, and he doesn't know how science even works on Earth.

He even manages to put on a proper expression for Erskine's death, but there's honestly something he doesn't know.

Well, two things, really, because what in the world is a congressman? But...]

You've lost me. What's a USO?

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