route_1065 | my heart's not fluttering or anything

Entry tags:

my heart's not fluttering or anything

Who: Hamsteaks,Team RWPY, & Dipper
Where: GOLDENROD INN, specifically Dave and Karkat's room but possibly others as well? It depends.
When: 3/5, afternoonish/evening/well into the wee hours of 3/6
Summary: A certain travel party largely consisting of traumatized teenagers initiates a team building exercise, AKA sleepover. This is clearly the best idea ever and will in no way backfire at all.
Rating: PG-13 for, uh. Homestuck vocabularies.
Log:

[Despite having been in their immediate vicinity for three weeks, Karkat had somehow managed to avoid talking to most of the people in their group for any significant length of time. A lot of it was personal preference because yes, he was still intermittently freaking out about being a human surrounded by humans, but the fact that he'd blown up at two of the other party members and probably guaranteed that Jade or Dave or both would be auspisticizing between them for the foreseeable future (oh god please no) didn't help matters. He'd rather stay in his damn room or hide in the local bookstore than deal with any of that bullshit.

Unfortunately, maintaining his busy schedule of staying the fuck away from other people as much as possible was untenable, especially when his best friends were also their friends and he literally had no excuse to keep putting it off—unless he could say he needed to take his Pokemon on a walk? Do people even take Pokemon on walks? Would Dave even buy that when neither Merope nor Sharru have shown the slightest amount of interest in going on walks? Well, okay, no, Dave might not even care, but Jade...

Either way, the moment his roommate decides on the impromptu movie night, sends out texts to inform the others, and begins putting together a Sweet Throh and Hella Sawk flyer for their door to mark the occasion (why is he friends with this moron again) is the moment Karkat's fate is sealed.

They're going to have a sleepover, and everyone is invited.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Jade can't help him now. Not unless she could pick locks anyway. See, Yang's not going to hurt Karkat. Not seriously. But she had given as much of a warning for it back at the beginning and it was clearly time to put her foot down about his shitty attitude before it became an infectious, shitty attitude. ]

Okay! [ Door locked and her "prey" released from the hold, Yang crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the door. She does not look happy but she is also trying to give him some benefit of the doubt. It dulls the fire of her tone. ] Do you want to tell me what's got you spouting off like that when everyone else is trying to have a good time?

[The moment Karkat's free, he's putting as much distance between himself and Yang as possible, eyeing her warily and trying very hard not to notice that she's locked the door. She's locked the fucking door. What the bulgechafing hell is wrong with her, if she were a troll—augh. No, stop thinking about that.]

Like what?

[If he sounds genuinely confused, it's probably because he is. Then again, considering their first conversation... oh my god, how can that actually be the problem?

He groans lets his arms drop from their defensive positions, rolling his damn eyes with as much force as he can muster.]

Are you still hung up on that shit? Have you met even half the people you're traveling with? Nobody gives a fuck! And I've left your sister alone, so I don't see what the goddamn problem is!

Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am.

[ She gestured behind her with her thumb. ] Look, I don't know what kind of world you all come from where it's okay to just talk like that all the time, but where we're from? People try to show some more respect for each other. I've spent some time around sailors in bars, and they don't even sound anything like you.

[ Yang frowned, brow creased in genuine concern. ] What's got you so ... so angry all the time?

[... He will never understand humans. Ever.]

None of your fucking business.

[He heaves an exasperated sigh and glances at the door again.]

Look, Yang, I appreciate that you're worried about your friends or whatever, but I'm not seeing what the fuck the problem is. If you think I'm rude, ignore me. Done. Can I go now?

[ Oh he's really testing her patience. It's good that he's friends-by-association to people who have been more than kind to Yang and the others. It is a debt that would be difficult to repay but, honestly? This is approaching a level that has her questioning the effort expended. ]

It's not that simple. When you were just words on a screen that's one thing, but now that you're traveling together and hanging out with us, there have got to be some changes. [ Yang gestured between the two of them. ] Or this? Just isn't going to work. [ She means an attempt at friendship or, at least, not duct taping his mouth shut every time he's around Ruby. And Dipper? That kid can't be near their age, so she's also looking out for another assumed impressionable youth. ]

[This conversation, it just keeps happening. When will the words stop. Why didn't he just conveniently lock himself out of the hotel when Dave first had this idea? It's only slightly freezing outside, he could have made it! FFFFUUUUUUCCKK.]

Oh, I see, of course! So because you don't like my personality, you're asking me to change, like it's any fucking easier to be around a bunch of fucking humans with totally different cultural norms! [Not that there weren't trolls who found his swearing offensive, but goddammit he is so tired of this horseshit, isn't it enough that he's fucking surrounded?] What do you propose, then? Shall I sand down my horns and file my teeth for you? Oh wait look, that's already been taken care of! So sad, I can't even present you with their powdered remains to slather all over your naked body like you've patented fucking troll Repel!

...okay that was a gross mental image and I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that.

But.

I get your point. [ Yang sighed heavily. Her approach had been rather... heavy-handed. She's super protective, okay?? ] Look, it's — I get the feeling you're not meaning to be harmful, but you have to understand, they were under a lot of stress back home. Friends getting hurt, the school being attacked...

If they want to tell you all the gritty details, that's up to them, but my point is: they deserve to relax. They will relax. It's a tense situation already and I don't want anything, or anyone, to contribute any more negativity. [ Though she had earnestly softened up some after her reassessment, Yang wanted to be clear that she could not idly sit by and let someone just foul up everyone's mood on account of "cultural norms". ]

[... A lot of stress. Friends getting hurt.

Karkat stares at her flatly for several seconds, but as tempting as it is to snap at her about—anything, he shuts his damn mouth and looks away. It's not like he can't relate, even if their situations have to be different.

He sighs again.]

So you want me to swear less.

[He's not promising that he will, and she's a bigger fucking moron than he thought if she actually believes she can get him to stop, but he can, you know. Listen to her terms. But that's all he's doing.]

Basically. [ But it's not quite that simple. Yang can't just... order him to stop. There could be other incentives. ] I want you to think about how it makes others feel and then come to your own decision on how you'll act.

Otherwise, I dunno. [ A shrug. ] I'll have to start up a Swear Jar for the group or something.

[... Holy shit he cannot possibly be hearing this right now. What the fuck does she think he's been doing?!]

Do you think I get off on making little girls cry?! What the fuck, Yang!

[If he sound genuinely insulted, that's because he is. Also—]

And what even is a swear jar, am I supposed to be tenderly mashing up every "shit," "fuck," and "hell" like I'm making fucking grub sauce?

I didn't say that!! I'm just — you can't control how others respond but you can control if you do things that set them off. It's like. I wouldn't try to make you eat burgers if you hated beef. I'd try not to even cook it around you if the smell bothered you that much. Does that make more sense? [ Maybe not a perfect analogy, but he's talking about some kind of sauce so she rolled with it. Yang probably should have gone with a comparison to smoking. She'll explain the other part in a sec. ]

[... Hamburgers are that sort of. Uh. Shit, he swears he knows this one. They're like grubloaves? Okay, no, fuck, priorities, come on, it's food and it has beef in it, that's all he needs to know.]

I mean, I guess. It's easier in person than over text anyway.

[Mostly. It's harder in other ways.]

That's where the swear jar comes in. As motivation.

[ Yang looked over the counter by the mirror. There's nothing really to use as an example besides a glass one might use to rinse out after brushing, so she grabs that. ] Just pretend this is a jar. Every time someone — any one of us traveling together, say — lets out a word on the list scribbled on it, that person has to put in some cash. Like P100, or something.

Then when it's full we decide how to spend that money to embarrass the biggest contributor to the jar.

[... He'd sort of been following this, but then they get to that last bit and seriously what the hell kind of bullshit is this.]

What the fuck good is that supposed to do?

[If they've already contributed the largest sum to the jar, doesn't that make shit entirely redundant? And besides, it's—]

If you're humiliating them, you're just going to make them resent you worse. How is that supposed to reduce negativity?

There has to be some kind of consequence, right? The whole idea is to not have any money in there at all. [ She shrugged. ] If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears.

[He snorts. Loudly.]

Reward everyone who wasn't the biggest contributor. They all get to, I don't know, go to some fancy human restaurant while your reigning asshole champion is left in the fucking hotel.

[It would have worked with his team. Even he didn't want to be left alone.]

[ She grinned. ] All right.

Does that mean you're up to take the Swear Jar Challenge, Karkat?

[... This is a fucking trap isn't it.]

Which words are you adding to the list?

[ Who's trapping who? Yang made a face at the prospect of actually saying any of them out loud. Why tempt herself to do so even once, for informative purposes? ] You know the ones...

No, I really fucking don't. I'm assuming "fuck" is a given, and maybe "shit," but who knows? Does the word "damn" upset you?

I'm not the one—

[ She sighed. ]

Okay. Sit tight. [ Yang exited the bathroom, and hopefully Karkat will stay there for just a minute longer while she collected a sheet of paper and something to write with. If they were going to make this out like a contract, she might as well have the tools to do so with.

Also, it was a good idea to give a reassuring smile to people to show that she was not, in fact, murdering anyone in the bathroom. ]

[... Did she seriously just

oh my god

All right, so fine, don't mind Karkat while he lounges around his own goddamn (shared??) bathroom, apparently trapped with no regard for his sanity because WHAT THE FUCK, YANG, HOW IS THIS APPROPRIATE.

Eventually, he may just be sidling up to the bathroom door and wrenching it the tiniest bit open. Is the coast clear?]

[ In that instant she's back, knocking briefly so she doesn't risk smashing the door into his nose, and she's got the supplies with her. ]

I'll have to go buy a jar tomorrow but, anyway. The list. [ She sets the paper down on the counter (not bothering to lock the door this time) and begins to write as many swear words as she can think of. It's not a slow process, but she does deliberate on a couple.

Among the lines were "3x for compounds" and "the first 'damn' is free". Because sometimes things just happened and if there was one word that was easy to let slip when losing a match, or stubbing one's toe, it was that one. ]

[Karkat gives her space to move, but the second she's slapping that paper down, he's at her side and scowling. Time to see what idiocy Past Karkat has gotten him into because yes apparently this is a trap and he's as much of a fucking moron for falling for it as ever. Not that he wants to make the girls uncomfortable, but seriously what does "3x for compounds" even mean?]

Compounds? Do you mean multiple swears in a sentence or put together in a single word?

[Either way it's sounding pretty fucking unfair to him, although if this does apply to everyone and isn't just a way for Yang to fuck with him, Jade is really going to need to retire her favored epithet for him. Hah.]

Put together. If you're putting effort into be that vulgar, you gotta pay the price.

[ Yang is not going to list examples because, really, some of those words just don't need to be repeated. But all the classics are on there. "fuck", "shit", "dumbass", etc. ]

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