Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

[matini]

Who: Homestuck cast (sob too many to list)
Where: Somewhere in Goldenrod City that can handle all these chillens
When: Christmas Day
Summary: Christmas Shenanigans with any and all Homestucks!
Rating: C for Cute, M for the mouths of Striders because DANG, YOU GUYS. WASH YOUR MOUTHS.
Log:

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

[With a small sigh, he moves his arm and leans down a little so that she'll have an easier time getting to his cheek.]

Fine, fine. If only because you're so damn persistent.

[healium]

[How nice of him. She'll lean up and plant a soft little smooch, before pushing the brim of his hat down with a mischievous smile.]

I'm a Crocker, of course I'm persistent!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Goddamn it his hair is getting all kinds of messed up today. But he'll let it slide, because she's annoyingly endearing. With a roll of his eyes, he fixes it.]

Is it your goal, then, to get kisses from all the Striders today?

[healium]

Only cheek kisses! [Wobbles, but since she hasn't been consistently downing drink after drink since bumping into Bro, Jane is slowly easing down from the buzz.] Have you seen Jake yet? I keep missing him.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I think the last time I remember seein' him, he was getting his mack on with Dirk.

[healium]

[Oh.

Oh.]

Oh, um.. I.... I see. [DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THIS GIRL HAS BEEN LET DOWN]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yes. Yes he does see. Or at least, he can tell there's something off about her now that he's said that.]

...Problem?

[healium]

What? No! No, no problem at all! There are no problems here, nope! [HA. HA HA. HA.. Well this is certainly not going to be the reason she gets more smashed, right-yes it is.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

You know what else alcohol does? It makes an already shitty liar even shittier.

[healium]

[Herp.] I mean it! That's great to hear that they're already making out and EVERYTHING IS FINE! [Bro what have you dooone. Is Jane starting to look for an escape, as clumsy as it is going to be? Hell yes.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Christ, calm your tits! [He won't deny he's amused as hell, and he can tell she's about to attempt to abscond, so he steps in front of her.] C'mon now, tell Bro your problems. I've been told I give good advice, y'know. Especially advice of this nature. So come on. Spill.

[healium]

Wh -- no, it's okay! I mean it, really! [dkgdjfjkhklfsdjlkfdhjlksfdkjlgdfkdjfjk He's too tall and she can't just youth roll through his legs atm, she's too uncoordinated for this no no no no nonononono aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH] I mean they obviously like each other and I want them to be happy anyway so it's great!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He can definitely tell that she wants to abscond, and he's prepared to block her should she try.] Yeah, it is obvious. But you know what else is starting to become obvious, too? You like one of'em, too. So. Which of the booties d'you wanna touch? Is it mini me? I wouldn't blame you, I had a damn fine ass at that age.

[healium]

[lkdgkffsjklkjlasgdkjjk older Dirk why are you doing this. Jane ends up holding her face in both hands, shaking her head slowly. Then again, wondering where Jake was earlier could be the hint, since she's unable to say a damn thing.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's having far too much fun with this. He knows he should feel bad, but he doesn't. At least not at first. But the longer he stares at her and sees how helpless she looks, he definitely starts feeling twinges of guilt. God damn it.]

Alright, alright. C'mon, let's go outside. You could probably use some fresh air.

[He takes her by the shoulder and gently begins trying to guide her to the door.]

[healium]

[The high point of being drunk has now finished; the low point is now a thing. Jane at least lets him guide her out the door, nodding in agreement to the need for fresh air; she can't stand taking down her hands just yet because now she just feels like crying and her face is red for that reason instead of embarrassment.

Pushing her glasses on top of her head, Jane just goes back to hiding her face in entirety now.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[On the way out, Bro grabs a glass of water and makes sure she doesn't have any alcohol on her by the time they make it outside. But first remind him why the hell he suggested this? Even with his new Christmas swag, he feels like he's slowly becoming a Brocicle.

He's not gonna show it, though. There are priorities and cold isn't on the list right now.

Bro offers her the drink and places a hand on her shoulder.]

Alright, bullshit aside. Talk to me.

[healium]

[At least she's not put off from talking since he gives off the same air of comfort that Dirk does, but it's still... well. The topic. She's already spoke to a couple people about her feelings regarding Jake now and it's becoming embarrassing. First, Jane is accepting that drink and taking a sip, wiping her face with a sleeve.]

I'm.. I'm not really sure where to start. Jake is too damn sweet for his own good. Handsome and a complete gentleman, and always with that smile.. [Maybe it's easier to start than she thought.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Oh, so he was wrong. Oops. Up until now he'd actually been assuming that it was Dirk, since she'd been so awkward about it towards him. He figured it'd be embarrassing to admit to crushing on his younger self. But oh well, he can handle this.]

First of all, I'm kinda disappointed it's not Dirk. Everyone should totally wanna tap that. [He's kidding, he's trying to lighten the mood a little bit.] But seriously. I can kinda see why you're so upset. You like him, but he likes Dirk? Are you sure about that, though? Because when they kissed, it looked pretty damn awkward to me.

[healium]

If you ask Roxy, er.. the one from my time, not Ms. Lalonde here, she has a thing for Dirk, but he always turns her down. [It does prompt a small smile out of her with the little joke, but she lowers her eyes again into the water.]

Are you.. sure? Jake is a bit dense but I mean, kissing is about as blunt as it gets.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Whoa, his teenage self turns down the advances of Roxanne's teenage self? That's really fuckin' weird to Bro, considering how much he wants to pork that. But that's beside the point, and he needs to focus on other things.]

Well you do know that the house is full of mistletoe, don't you? Of course you do, considering you ambushed me under one. I think it's safe to assume something similar happened with them. It seems to me that Dirk's got a thing for the guy, so it's entirely possible that Dirk set it up so that Jake had no choice but to kiss him.

[healium]

I do know that, and I didn't ambush you! Goodness.

[Taking another drink of the water, Jane just sighs and looks out into the snow instead.] I suppose so, though don't mistletoe kisses generally stay.. well. Simple? The way you said it made it sound as if they were both really into it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You totally ambushed me.

[And he's just going to give her a really flat look at that.]

Have you not realized I exaggerate things 98% of the time? I mean, honestly.

[healium]

[She would have rolled her eyes about the ambushing again, but that flat look has her frowning and looking down at her feet.] No. I've never really had reason to disbelieve the phrasing unless it was edged with the usual Strider irony.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You have no idea how irony works, do you? There was irony in me saying they were macking on each other when it was really just a whole ugly, awkward affair.

[Gosh, he hates having to explain irony.]

But yeah, protip: I exaggerate a whole fucking lot.