so a gangster and a nurse walk down route 30 and...

[impheired]

Who: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu (impheired) and Mikan Tsumiki (puppetnurse)
Where: Route 30
When: 1/20 (possibly through the 25th, we just don't know)
Summary: Perhaps one of the most random pair-offs of the Super Dangan Ronpas are still on the road and why did anybody leave these two together. Why didn't somebody insist upon picking them up instead of letting them walk all the way to Goldenrod. Various travel shenanigans ensue, all of them are terrible.
Rating: PG-13 for Kuzuryuu's mouth and probably a few accidental fanservice shots from Tsumiki
Log:

[Thankfully, the rain that had accompanied their arrival into Cherrygrove on Friday had let up quickly. They left on Saturday morning under heavy cloud cover and more than once, Kuzuryuu found himself wondering whether or not more rain would come. Maybe they should have stayed an extra day just to be sure...but his drive to catch up to Hinata wouldn't allow for him to admit to or indulge those minor second guesses.]

[Luckily, it ended up being a non-issue. By Monday, most of the clouds were gone and the sun was shining and basically it was a pretty nice day to be traveling. At least weatherwise. Everything else-wise...]

[Well, Kuzuryuu still wasn't sure why he'd agreed to travel with Tsumiki. Other than the fact that it seemed unconscionable to leave someone like her on her own. But even so, of all the people...he's pretty sure he would have taken literally anybody else as his-- no, that's a lie.]

[Tsumiki WAS at least slightly better than Komaeda. But only slightly.]

[But on the other hand, at least Komaeda wouldn't start crying and apologizing every time somebody challenged him to a battle. This was the third time today alone and though Kuzuryuu didn't mind stepping in and taking the fight instead, it was starting to get annoying how many of these dumbass trainers thought that meant he was her boyfriend or something.]

[Kuzuryuu was really getting tired of having to clear that one up.]

[So once he was finished shouting at poor Bug Catcher NPC #3 and the two unlikely companions were were walking again, Kuzuryuu finally decided to do something about it. This had been going on for way too long now, it was a wonder he hadn't snapped before now.]

Tch, how long are you going to keep crying about challenges before you finally step up and take one? You're not always going to have me around to take them for you! And on top of that, you're wasting the potential of your Pokémon. You've got a real fighter there, despite how ridiculous it looks.

[Hey, it hit him that one time. He's just assuming that means it's a fighter.]

You haven't even caught anything else yet. We've been in this world almost a week already! It's like you're not even trying to do this right!

[His words are harsh as always, but at least he's not outright yelling. He does at least seem to have picked up on the fact that shouting just leads to crying and that really accomplishes nothing.]

[#progress]

Comments

[puppetnurse]

[Likewise Tsumiki is learning that she doesn't always need to apologize when he tells her how she's messed up this time. Because she DOES know that she can't expect him to step in everytime. Really she feels awful having him do that everytime...]

I-I'm sorry...I-I'll try to battle the n-next one...

[She's apologizing to her Audino just as much as she is to Kuzuryuu...]

I-I'm an awful trainer aren't I...?

[impheired]

Yeah, you're pretty fucking awful at this.

[Kuzuryuu...]

[puppetnurse]

[Her Audino moves to hug her as she starts crying and apologizing to her. You should find another trainer. You should stay with Kuzuryuu-san. He'd train you better.

Boy. You are on this Pokemons shit list.]

[impheired]

[Finally he's on somebody's shitlist instead of the other way around. And it's...a fat pink bunny thing. But at least she's not the only Pokémon taking Tsumiki's side here. Even his Pawniard is giving her master A Look.]

No, that's not what I was... [UGH. Kuzuryuu drags a hand down the side of his face, looking frustrated. But he's still keeping his temper and his volume in check.] Stop crying, you're only bad at it because you're not even trying.

[How does one person have so many tears? Like...Jesus. How have you not cried yourself out completely yet, Tsumiki?]

Look okay, how about before we run into somebody else, you try having your Audino fight something in the grass?

[Baby steps here...]

[puppetnurse]

[That's a good question. Maybe she's secretly a water Pokemon in disguise. Maybe that's always been what she was.

This is obviously how their story is going to end. Tsumiki is a Poliwag.

No, but she tries to stop, hiccuping a little and looking up at him. Then she looks at her Audino, obviously wondering if it's okay. Does she want to battle something? But what if she gets hurt...? She really doesn't want her Pokemon to get hurt...

But then the Audino looks determined, so maybe she wants to battle. Maybe Tsumiki is being a really horrible trainer by trying to protect her...

Of course that thought only makes more tears appear, but at least she's not being very loud this time. Standing up she rubs at her eyes and then looks around.]

U-um. L-like...just o-over there?

[That grass doesn't look too tall or anything...maybe it'll have smaller Pokemon in it. If they're smaller, they can't seriously hurt her Audino, right?

God, she still needed to think of a name for her...]

[impheired]

Yeah just over there. Just go walk around in the grass and wait until something finds you. It probably won't take long.

[So many Rattatas. And Pidgeys. AND BIDOOFS. Man the early routes suck.]

[puppetnurse]

[Nodding, she glances down at her Audino again and then walks into the grass and just. Stands there for a moment before sort of walking around...

And then the music changes, because a Wild Rattata has Appeared! And apparently it knows Glare, because Tsumiki is immediately paralyzed, having no idea what to do.

Thank goodness her Audino seems to? Because she immediately stepped up to the challenge, standing ready for a command.]

...wh...whwhwhwhwhat do I do?!?

[impheired]

Give her a command, stupid! [Oops that was unnecessarily mean.] I mean-- look how many times have you seen me do this? Just tell her what attack to use!

[Are you kidding him. Seriously. How many fights has she seen him been in. How many.]

[puppetnurse]

[A lot, but. It's a lot different watching and doing. You can watch a person sing but that doesn't mean you'll know how to do it when you get up on stage.

And...what attacks does she even have? Ooops Tsumiki doesn't have any idea. Her Audino dodges the rat easily, making a few encouraging noises to her trainer. You can do it. She believes in you!]

U-um...a-ah....A-Audino u-use...

[Just fumbling with her gear. This is supposed to give her information on her Pokemon right??]

U-use H-helping Hand!

[It's called helping hand. It can't hurt the Rattata too much, right...?

Which of course it can't, though it's useless here and her Audino is aware of that. The Pokemon glances back at her trainer before turning back to her opponent, using Pound instead for now.]

[impheired]

[Are you shitting him. Okay, Kuzuryuu admittedly has no idea what Helping Hand does but by the sounds of it it doesn't sound like something that's going to hurt the rat. Which...is probably what she was aiming for since she apparently doesn't want to hurt anything. Despite the fact that that's literally what these creatures are made for.]

You can't be scared to use a damaging attack! If you don't hurt it a little first you'll never be able to catch it!

[puppetnurse]

B-but--! [He's right. She doesn't want to hurt it. She doesn't want to hurt anything at all, really. If she had to hurt things to catch them, she likely wouldn't ever gain much of a team...but she watches her Audino use Pound again on her own and is somewhat horrified when the mouse Pokemon gets a hit in, ramming into her partner with Tackle.]

A-Audino!

[Nevermind that it...really didn't hurt too bad. The rabbit-like creature doesn't seem to be in any pain, steeling itself instead for the next attack. But apparently seeing her get hit is what Tsumiki needed.]

Use...uh...

[Okay, what was that attack?]

Use Pound again!

[impheired]

There you go! See? She's fine. You're fine.

[Everything is fine.]

[You got dis, Tsumiki.]

[puppetnurse]

[She does got dis. She is all over this.

Nobody hurts her Pokemon.

Though the battle is pretty monotonous, considering all Audino knows at this point is Pound, Growl and the ever so useless Helping Hand...but she and her Pokemon are both ruthless.

Or...okay. As ruthless as Tsumiki can be anyway. Her Pokemon though, she's still pretty ruthless. That Rattata didn't stand a freaking chance. It is down pretty quick.]

[impheired]

[U did it, Tsumiki. U beat the rat.]

[Sure it was boring as hell but that's kind of how these battles go at this stage in the game. At least Audino has more moves at level 5 than Pawniard did.]

[Scratch. Do you have any idea how boring the first few battles were before she got Leer? And then how boring they still were after that because lol Leer.]

Good! [Holy shit was that a compliment? He must have spaced out there or something.] Now catch it or leave it and start again.

[puppetnurse]

[First she has to take a few deep breaths and then just. Drop to her knees to hug her Audino very tightly and start crying.

Yup.]

I-I'm sorry I let you get hurt! I-I'm s-sorry!!

[She's gonna get you some berries, girl, you just hold tight. And while Tsumiki does that, the Audino just...sits there. And visibly sighs a little.]

[impheired]

[Okay he was maybe kind of proud of you for a second there Tsumiki. (wow wait was he really? Wtf.) But then you ruined it by crying because oh my god calm down. It was just a Rattata and it was probably like level 3 or something.]

[There is no need to be this upset.]

She's fine! Look, barely any scratches on her, you're overreacting! If you want to say something to her, tell her she did a good job, don't apologize!

You can't get stronger without going through a little pain first!

[Trust him, he of all people is intimately aware of this fact.]

[puppetnurse]

[She jumps a little when he speaks up, dropping her berries and scrambling to pick them back up. And she she turns to look up at Kuzuryuu, there are more tears streaming down her face.]

I-I'm sorry! I'm just w-worried. I'm sorry I'll t-try harder!

[Apparently permanent progress with her is going to take a long, long time working on it. Though she at least hurries back over to her Pokemon, giving her a couple berries and quietly praising her?]

[impheired]

[SIGH. Yes, he is realizing progress in this particular area is going to take a lot of work. He probably should have realized that sooner but holy hell.]

No, what you're doing is overreacting. Fighting is in their nature, it's what they do. Look, even your Audino realizes that much.

[Audino, how do you feel about the fact that you and Kuzuryuu are on the same side here?]

Now get up, stop crying, and try again.

[Since he assumes at this point you're not going to do anything about that k.o.'d Rattata that probably shook itself out of its stupor and ran away by now. Or whatever it is wild Pokémon do after they've been defeated in real life as opposed to a video game.]

[puppetnurse]

I-I'm sorry! [Sniffle.] I-I'm s-sorry...

[She doesn't exactly stop crying, but it's down to hiccups and sniffles as she stands up at least, doing as she's told. The Audino brushes herself off, unable to argue with the boy but still eying him in a way that says 'you're lucky I agree with you'. She then gives her trainer some encouraging pats, following her around as she tries to attract another Pokemon.]

[impheired]

And stop apologizing!

[Jeez. He knows you're sorry but COME ON.]

[puppetnurse]

[There's still one more mumbled apology - she's apologizing for apologizing - before she does her best to just shut up. That seems to be the best course of action with Kuzuryuu.

Her next opponent is Bidoof, and that one is taken down in much the same manner as the Rattata, though with less struggling on Tsumiki's part. Her Audino came out with a few scratches, but nothing Tsumiki couldn't fix. She kneels down again, hugging the pink Pokemon tight.]

G-good j-job! Y-you did s-so well!

[Look! No apologies!! But still lots of coddling and giving her berries or a spritz of potion immediately after the battle ended.

This Bidoof is also free to wake up and run away if it wants, apparently.]

[impheired]

[Kuzuryuu says nothing, just stays in that same spot a few feet away and watches her, Pawniard at his side and arms folded over his chest.]

[He's smiling though, which might be a bit of a surprise. It's not a very big one but, still. Clearly the folded arms doesn't mean he's angry.]

[Though dammit, you really don't have to be so quick to use healing items, Tsumiki. But maybe that's to be expected of the SHSL Nurse. Plus, it's not like she doesn't have a million berries at this point.]

[puppetnurse]

[A million? You obviously weren't paying attention when she was collecting them because she has so many more.

So. Many. More.

She turns to him once her Audino is healed and stops, taken aback by the smile.

Is he smiling at her?

Is Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko smiling at her??

...don't mind her, she's going to laugh just a little. Or...chuckle. It's an awkward sort of half-laugh, half-chuckle.]

[impheired]

[This is enough berries, Tsumiki.]

[But no, he wasn't smiling at her! He's just smiling in general, god can't you tell the difference?! And jeez it was just a little one it's not that big a deal! He smiles sometimes!!]

What's so funny?

[And smile's gone now. At least he doesn't seem angry about it just...you better not be laughing at him, gurl!!!!]

[puppetnurse]

Nothing's funny... [She smiles a little herself!]

You're smiling. That made me happy.

[Because Kuzuryuu you never smile. It doesn't matter if you think you do. You never do.]