so a gangster and a nurse walk down route 30 and...

[impheired]

Who: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu (impheired) and Mikan Tsumiki (puppetnurse)
Where: Route 30
When: 1/20 (possibly through the 25th, we just don't know)
Summary: Perhaps one of the most random pair-offs of the Super Dangan Ronpas are still on the road and why did anybody leave these two together. Why didn't somebody insist upon picking them up instead of letting them walk all the way to Goldenrod. Various travel shenanigans ensue, all of them are terrible.
Rating: PG-13 for Kuzuryuu's mouth and probably a few accidental fanservice shots from Tsumiki
Log:

[Thankfully, the rain that had accompanied their arrival into Cherrygrove on Friday had let up quickly. They left on Saturday morning under heavy cloud cover and more than once, Kuzuryuu found himself wondering whether or not more rain would come. Maybe they should have stayed an extra day just to be sure...but his drive to catch up to Hinata wouldn't allow for him to admit to or indulge those minor second guesses.]

[Luckily, it ended up being a non-issue. By Monday, most of the clouds were gone and the sun was shining and basically it was a pretty nice day to be traveling. At least weatherwise. Everything else-wise...]

[Well, Kuzuryuu still wasn't sure why he'd agreed to travel with Tsumiki. Other than the fact that it seemed unconscionable to leave someone like her on her own. But even so, of all the people...he's pretty sure he would have taken literally anybody else as his-- no, that's a lie.]

[Tsumiki WAS at least slightly better than Komaeda. But only slightly.]

[But on the other hand, at least Komaeda wouldn't start crying and apologizing every time somebody challenged him to a battle. This was the third time today alone and though Kuzuryuu didn't mind stepping in and taking the fight instead, it was starting to get annoying how many of these dumbass trainers thought that meant he was her boyfriend or something.]

[Kuzuryuu was really getting tired of having to clear that one up.]

[So once he was finished shouting at poor Bug Catcher NPC #3 and the two unlikely companions were were walking again, Kuzuryuu finally decided to do something about it. This had been going on for way too long now, it was a wonder he hadn't snapped before now.]

Tch, how long are you going to keep crying about challenges before you finally step up and take one? You're not always going to have me around to take them for you! And on top of that, you're wasting the potential of your Pokémon. You've got a real fighter there, despite how ridiculous it looks.

[Hey, it hit him that one time. He's just assuming that means it's a fighter.]

You haven't even caught anything else yet. We've been in this world almost a week already! It's like you're not even trying to do this right!

[His words are harsh as always, but at least he's not outright yelling. He does at least seem to have picked up on the fact that shouting just leads to crying and that really accomplishes nothing.]

[#progress]

Comments

[impheired]

[U did it, Tsumiki. U beat the rat.]

[Sure it was boring as hell but that's kind of how these battles go at this stage in the game. At least Audino has more moves at level 5 than Pawniard did.]

[Scratch. Do you have any idea how boring the first few battles were before she got Leer? And then how boring they still were after that because lol Leer.]

Good! [Holy shit was that a compliment? He must have spaced out there or something.] Now catch it or leave it and start again.

[puppetnurse]

[First she has to take a few deep breaths and then just. Drop to her knees to hug her Audino very tightly and start crying.

Yup.]

I-I'm sorry I let you get hurt! I-I'm s-sorry!!

[She's gonna get you some berries, girl, you just hold tight. And while Tsumiki does that, the Audino just...sits there. And visibly sighs a little.]

[impheired]

[Okay he was maybe kind of proud of you for a second there Tsumiki. (wow wait was he really? Wtf.) But then you ruined it by crying because oh my god calm down. It was just a Rattata and it was probably like level 3 or something.]

[There is no need to be this upset.]

She's fine! Look, barely any scratches on her, you're overreacting! If you want to say something to her, tell her she did a good job, don't apologize!

You can't get stronger without going through a little pain first!

[Trust him, he of all people is intimately aware of this fact.]

[puppetnurse]

[She jumps a little when he speaks up, dropping her berries and scrambling to pick them back up. And she she turns to look up at Kuzuryuu, there are more tears streaming down her face.]

I-I'm sorry! I'm just w-worried. I'm sorry I'll t-try harder!

[Apparently permanent progress with her is going to take a long, long time working on it. Though she at least hurries back over to her Pokemon, giving her a couple berries and quietly praising her?]

[impheired]

[SIGH. Yes, he is realizing progress in this particular area is going to take a lot of work. He probably should have realized that sooner but holy hell.]

No, what you're doing is overreacting. Fighting is in their nature, it's what they do. Look, even your Audino realizes that much.

[Audino, how do you feel about the fact that you and Kuzuryuu are on the same side here?]

Now get up, stop crying, and try again.

[Since he assumes at this point you're not going to do anything about that k.o.'d Rattata that probably shook itself out of its stupor and ran away by now. Or whatever it is wild Pokémon do after they've been defeated in real life as opposed to a video game.]

[puppetnurse]

I-I'm sorry! [Sniffle.] I-I'm s-sorry...

[She doesn't exactly stop crying, but it's down to hiccups and sniffles as she stands up at least, doing as she's told. The Audino brushes herself off, unable to argue with the boy but still eying him in a way that says 'you're lucky I agree with you'. She then gives her trainer some encouraging pats, following her around as she tries to attract another Pokemon.]

[impheired]

And stop apologizing!

[Jeez. He knows you're sorry but COME ON.]

[puppetnurse]

[There's still one more mumbled apology - she's apologizing for apologizing - before she does her best to just shut up. That seems to be the best course of action with Kuzuryuu.

Her next opponent is Bidoof, and that one is taken down in much the same manner as the Rattata, though with less struggling on Tsumiki's part. Her Audino came out with a few scratches, but nothing Tsumiki couldn't fix. She kneels down again, hugging the pink Pokemon tight.]

G-good j-job! Y-you did s-so well!

[Look! No apologies!! But still lots of coddling and giving her berries or a spritz of potion immediately after the battle ended.

This Bidoof is also free to wake up and run away if it wants, apparently.]

[impheired]

[Kuzuryuu says nothing, just stays in that same spot a few feet away and watches her, Pawniard at his side and arms folded over his chest.]

[He's smiling though, which might be a bit of a surprise. It's not a very big one but, still. Clearly the folded arms doesn't mean he's angry.]

[Though dammit, you really don't have to be so quick to use healing items, Tsumiki. But maybe that's to be expected of the SHSL Nurse. Plus, it's not like she doesn't have a million berries at this point.]

[puppetnurse]

[A million? You obviously weren't paying attention when she was collecting them because she has so many more.

So. Many. More.

She turns to him once her Audino is healed and stops, taken aback by the smile.

Is he smiling at her?

Is Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko smiling at her??

...don't mind her, she's going to laugh just a little. Or...chuckle. It's an awkward sort of half-laugh, half-chuckle.]

[impheired]

[This is enough berries, Tsumiki.]

[But no, he wasn't smiling at her! He's just smiling in general, god can't you tell the difference?! And jeez it was just a little one it's not that big a deal! He smiles sometimes!!]

What's so funny?

[And smile's gone now. At least he doesn't seem angry about it just...you better not be laughing at him, gurl!!!!]

[puppetnurse]

Nothing's funny... [She smiles a little herself!]

You're smiling. That made me happy.

[Because Kuzuryuu you never smile. It doesn't matter if you think you do. You never do.]

[impheired]

[He does so!! Just because you haven't seen him do it, Tsumiki, doesn't mean that he never does, jeez!]

[She did a pretty decent job of catching him off guard, though. He honestly wasn't expecting that answer.]

Yeah, so? I'm capable of smiling you know! It's not a big deal! J-Just go back to what you were doing!

[If he tsuns at you it means he finds you at least slightly tolerable or something, okay? Look, just don't look into it too much!!]

[puppetnurse]

I-I...I was just...

[Looking away, back to her Audino, she mumbles an apology and goes back to finding Pokemon to battle.

She was just happy...that's all she was saying.

Man where are all the Pokemons at? Maybe if she gets down on her knees and actually looks for them...]

[impheired]

[Oh Mikan. You have no idea how a tsundere works, do you? It's probably for the best.]

But okay, you do your thing. You find the Pokeymans. Kuzuryuu is...still just going to stand here and keep an eye on you, apparently.]

[puppetnurse]

[No, not really. And honestly, until he's straight with her about things like that, she likely never will be.

But okay, she's doing her thing! Though Kuzuryuu, you must really miss those panty shots. She's on her hands and knees and you're keeping an eye on her?

Don't say you weren't warned.]

A-Amitriptyline, have you found any more Pokemon?

[Guess who finally found a name for her Pokemon. Guess which Pokemon has no idea what that word even means, much less that it's her name.

Yeah, the Audino is just kind of...looking at Tsumiki. And then looking at Kuzuryuu, and then around the area...

Are you referring to her???]

Au...Audino?

[Most unsure Audino in history.]

[impheired]

[NO. NO PANTY SHOTS. GOD HE DID NOT MISS THOSE AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THEM???]

P-PULL YOUR SKIRT DOWN!! [Yeah, he's not keeping an eye on her now!!] HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO SEE THAT!?

[God, she didn't even trip this time what the hell.]

[puppetnurse]

[Why the yelling why always with the yelling? Tsumiki jolts, falling in her attempt to pull the skirt down which honestly makes the situation worse. But eventually she corrects herself, sitting with her skirt pulled down and pressed tightly to her legs, hiccuping a little.]

I-I'm s-sorry!!! I d-didn't mean toooooo!!

[Welp.

She's attracting wild Pokemon now. Those that weren't spooked by his yelling or her sudden tears are curiously sniffing at her from nearby.

Where's Amitriptyline?

Marching her way over to Kuzuryuu.]

[impheired]

[Gurl, you need to get some pants. Or at least some leggings to wear under your skirt. Just something so Kuzuryuu can't see your panties because he doesn't want to see those.]

Stop apologizing!!!

[puppetnurse]

I'm sorry!! [Yeah. Telling her to stop is going over real well.] I'm sorry for apologizing so much!! Please forgive me!!

[Kuzuryuu, aside from her near wailing now that you have to deal with, you've got an Audino giving your leg a few good smacks and a lot of stern words.

You be nicer to her trainer or so help her, she will strike you down.]

[impheired]

[Oh lord, Tsumiki don't start talking about forgiving you. That just brings up memories Kuzuryuu would rather not think about.]

[Though hey, Amitriptyline? You're not the only one concerned about your trainer right now. Kopeko is something of a bodyguard, you see. The minute she sees that small, pink hand going for Kuzuryuu's leg, she springs into action. Quick as can be, she brings one of her bladed arms down right in front of Amitriptyline's face, her gaze cold and steely. Between that and her body language, the message of "back the fuck off" should be blatantly evident.]

[And all this is just making Kuzuryuu angrier. Pokémon are about two seconds away from fighting on his shoes, Tsumiki is crying and apologizing again, and god why couldn't he have traveled alone. Why.]

Kopeko! [First things first. Let's stop these two before something nasty happens. His tone is sharp and the Pawniard somewhat reluctantly withdraws her hand. Though if you think this is over, Amitriptyline, you've got another thing coming. She's got her eye on you.]

[And once that's done, he turns his attention to Tsumiki herself, shoving his hands in his pockets. He still looks a little agitated, but when he speaks his voice is at a normal volume again..]

Tsumiki, get up and stop crying. I'm...I'm sorry for yelling. [Because, really, he totally overreacted there. Compared to some of the other accidental panty shots he's gotten on this trip, that one was downright tame. At least she wasn't in an awkward pose this time. Her skirt was just a little too short for crawling around.]

Just...be more aware of shit like that, fuck somebody's gonna end up taking advantage of you if you're not careful.

[Skeeves like Hanamura. :|]

[puppetnurse]

[You really wanna go, Kopeko? Because she will take you on. Up until Kuzuryuu spoke up, the Audino held her ground, offering her just as cold of a gaze, clearly challenging her.

Come on. Bring it on, Pawniard. She's not scared of you.

But thankfully the boy managed to put somewhat of a stop to that. The pink Pokemon watches him carefully, relaxing a little bit as he speaks to Tsumiki normally. While they deal with whatever they're dealing with, she gives the other Pokemon a look.

Don't watch her. Watch your trainer.]

I-I'm sorry...

[She quieted pretty quickly when he said her name, rather than yelled it, and when she's told to stand up she does. Still trying to pull her skirt down a little or pin it to her legs but she's up and simply sniffling now.

She doesn't really say anything about his last comment, preferring to give that some careful thought first apparently.]

...th-that...

[...Tsumiki shakes her head a little, deciding not to say anything for fear of making him angry again. Instead she's going to look down and take notice that hey. There are a few Rattatas just hanging out around her feet now...]

...wild Pokemon...

[impheired]

[She has two eyes! She can watch both you and her idiot loudmouth trainer who yells way too much. Don't you worry about that.]

[Kuzuryuu quirks a brow, waiting for her to finish her thought as she fiddles with her skirt. But then she just shakes her head and what the actual fuck, Tsumiki. What were you going to say there? Okay fine let's just talk about the rats instead.]

What about them?

[puppetnurse]

...th-they weren't coming out before. [She has having a hell of a time finding any Pokemon to battle before, remember?]

[impheired]

Well now they are. Are you going to battle them or just let them sniff your toes? Or are you finally going to try and catch something.

[Because again: one Pokémon, Tsumiki. You have one Pokémon.]