you know it's dragging me down

[skillspanner]

Who: restardom, usedkunai
Where: Breeding Centre House
When: Evening, October 4th
Summary: Yosuke is an insecure failure, hijinks and woobieness ensue.
Rating: T for Teehee, Yosuke is dumb
Log:

[He's not particularly waiting for her to get back, but Yosuke's been sitting on the sofa all evening. It's the first evening he's taken off in a while, so while everyone else is taking care of their business, he's just thinking. Part about his situations -- things with Souji, as they always linger in his mind. But that's not it; something else is bothering him.]

[His talk with Athrun still lingers. Why didn't Rise tell him? Did she tell Souji yet? Or the others? Was he the last to know? Or maybe it was something else. After all, she felt comfortable enough to talk to him about the murders - the case. Something they really didn't often mention. Something he hadn't spoken a word to with anyone in Johto. Maybe she just trusted Athrun more; maybe things were changing right under his nose and he didn't know it. He's just not sure.]

[Maybe he just needs to wait. So he sits instead, contemplating whether or not he'll even mention it, or if he'll just offer a goofy smile and be on his way.]

Comments

[skillspanner]

[He shrugs a little; he's put on a good front -- but all this stuff - months of dealing with his feelings for Souji, and his ones for Rise too - it's taking a toll on him. It's times like this, when he's tired and it's quiet that bring out the worst in him. It's so taxing and Yosuke's just lacking the energy to fake it like he means it.]

[It doesn't matter though. He doesn't really want to talk about himself, no, that's happened too much lately.]

When were you planning actually saying you were leaving?

[restardom.livejournal.com]

When I was finished. I was going to tell all of you.

[skillspanner]

Wh-- Wait, you haven't even told Souji yet?

[restardom.livejournal.com]

I just said all of you, didn't I? We're a team, so why would I only tell one of you and not say anything to anyone else?

[skillspanner]

I... I dunno, okay? I figured you'd tell him, at least with the Centre and all... [Tilts his head back, closing his eyes and sighing. Well. He feels like a dumbass.]

[restardom.livejournal.com]

If I told him before I was anywhere close to being ready, it'd just be something more for him to worry about. I mean, knowing Senpai, he'd want to help.

[ she huffs a little. ] Honestly...

[skillspanner]

Yeah, I guess you've got a point there... I guess we don't really need to add to that.

[restardom.livejournal.com]

So are you gonna stop sulking now?

[skillspanner]

I-I'm not sulking! [Yes, he's protesting this.]

[restardom.livejournal.com]

You so were.

[skillspanner]

No way! Thinking and sulking are totally different!

[restardom.livejournal.com]

I know they are. That's why you were sulking.

[skillspanner]

[So pouting right now.] Even if I was... wh-which I totally wasn't, it's not like it matters anyways.

[restardom.livejournal.com]

Of course it matters, dummy. Even if it is weird.

LJ ATE THIS NOTIF WTF

[skillspanner]

It's all kind of dumb anyways. Just forget it.

;A;

[restardom.livejournal.com]

Too late.

[skillspanner]

[Sighing.] Come on.

[restardom.livejournal.com]

[ and she just looks at him, with a frown. ]

[skillspanner]

You seriously not gonna let this go, are you.

[restardom.livejournal.com]

Nope.

[skillspanner]

[Falling quiet and looking at the ceiling. He doesn't know how to say this stuff.]

[restardom.livejournal.com]

[ Rise's not budging, nor is she looking away from his face.

She can keep this up, Yosuke. Can you? ]

[skillspanner]

[He's staying this way for a few minutes. Quiet, contemplative. For every reason - because he feels like it's stupid that this is getting to him, that he knows there's plenty of other things beyond the surface worries... but. He knows Rise, and somewhere along the way, she figured him out too well. Yosuke can't hide it, and he won't. He closes his eyes, awkwardly clearing his throat, he finally chokes out some words.]

I... don't like when we're separated for too long, I guess. Not like, you and me - anyone on the team.

[restardom.livejournal.com]

[ her eyes remain fixed on his face, but amber's darkened to a shadowed brown, and she's silent for a good minute after he's finished. It's not stupid. She'd felt the same, separated from the team while they were in Violet, struggling to make her way back when Nanako was crying so piteously into the gear and Souji was being chased by a skeletal nightmare.

And even before that...

It's the first time she's spoken up about it to the team. ]

Hey, Yosuke-senpai... do you know what scares me the most?

[skillspanner]

[It's that silence that sparks him to finally look at her; he could feel that weight in the air. It was there to begin with, it had been pressing on him since he spoke to Athrun. But now it felt like it was weighing down, crushing them - suffocating like the fog. It takes him a moment's hesitation to answer.]

...No? I mean, I don't think so.