Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock

[matini]

Who: Homestuck cast (sob too many to list)
Where: Somewhere in Goldenrod City that can handle all these chillens
When: Christmas Day
Summary: Christmas Shenanigans with any and all Homestucks!
Rating: C for Cute, M for the mouths of Striders because DANG, YOU GUYS. WASH YOUR MOUTHS.
Log:

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Thankfully he manages to avoice getting sloshed on. You ruin his reindeer sweater and you'll have words.]

You're... Haha, you're so fucking far from alright. You're smashed.

[He should sound disapproving, but he doesn't. Because how old is she? Eh, he doesn't care.

It's with a roll of his eyes that he sees the two of them managed to stumble slightly into a mistletoe overheard. Shit. Well, hopefully she won't notice.]

You should probably go lie down.

[healium]

Oh no, Roxy knows I don't like drinking that stuff! It always smells bad, so she got punch for me instead! [TRUSTING MOMLAL. YUP. Hey she's in the blue snowman sweater that is one of those that pointedly says LOOK AT MY CHEST.

Shaking her head at the request though, Jane sips her drink and tries to right herself on her feet, wobbling still.]

But the party is so fun!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro can't help but raise an eyebrow at her. And he's looking her pointedly in the face, ignoring the pointed demands of the snowman sweater.]

Did she? And did you know that the woman is in a perpetual state of intoxication? I mean, I can see how you'd miss that. It's not as if she's constantly got a martini or anything, I mean honestly. I'm just saying, he judgment ain't always the best.

And you're fucking smashed.

[healium]

[She's fifteen, Bro; at least she isn't a trap..]

She was like that when she was young too! Shucks, buster, it's like you know everything! But I trust Roxy and I know she wouldn't do that! [Wobbling, but getting sassy about it, yuuup.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Thank fuck for that.]

Of course I know everything, that's my job. And if you trust her, trust the guy who knows everything when he says that your drink is spiked to hell and back.

[He sees her wobble, and he reaches his arms out to grab either shoulder to try and help steady her.]

I'd put the cup down and go find some plain water if I were you. If you're lucky, you'll avoid a bitch of a hangover.

[healium]

[Almost pouting, Jane stubbornly takes a LONG DRINK to finish that cup off. Of course, tipping the cup back is what makes the mistletoe catch her eye.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro opens his mouth to say something when she does that, but two things make him stop. One, he realizes it's pointless to argue with a drunk teenager, because clearly she's being rebellious just to be annoying. Two, he sees where her eyes are at and he freezes.]

No.

[healium]

[Shaking her head, Jane sets that cup down and steps in closer.] Come here, it's tradition!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's just going to hold out an arm to block her from getting too close.]

You're like... What, thirteen? I don't care if it's tradition.

[healium]

For your information, I am fifteen! Also, it's called your cheek, Mr. Strider. [She'll wait, pointedly raising an eyebrow and giving him a look; she might be smashed by now, but Jane needing to reassure a grown man.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Don't look at him like that, okay? He doesn't automatically assume that cheeks are even a thing. He's used to makeouts!]

Oh. Well. Fine, you can kiss me on the cheek if you really have to.

[healium]

Of course I do! You may be an older version of Dirk, but you get the same cheek kisses as he does. [Tapping his arm that's still in her way yup]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[With a small sigh, he moves his arm and leans down a little so that she'll have an easier time getting to his cheek.]

Fine, fine. If only because you're so damn persistent.

[healium]

[How nice of him. She'll lean up and plant a soft little smooch, before pushing the brim of his hat down with a mischievous smile.]

I'm a Crocker, of course I'm persistent!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Goddamn it his hair is getting all kinds of messed up today. But he'll let it slide, because she's annoyingly endearing. With a roll of his eyes, he fixes it.]

Is it your goal, then, to get kisses from all the Striders today?

[healium]

Only cheek kisses! [Wobbles, but since she hasn't been consistently downing drink after drink since bumping into Bro, Jane is slowly easing down from the buzz.] Have you seen Jake yet? I keep missing him.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I think the last time I remember seein' him, he was getting his mack on with Dirk.

[healium]

[Oh.

Oh.]

Oh, um.. I.... I see. [DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THIS GIRL HAS BEEN LET DOWN]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yes. Yes he does see. Or at least, he can tell there's something off about her now that he's said that.]

...Problem?

[healium]

What? No! No, no problem at all! There are no problems here, nope! [HA. HA HA. HA.. Well this is certainly not going to be the reason she gets more smashed, right-yes it is.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

You know what else alcohol does? It makes an already shitty liar even shittier.

[healium]

[Herp.] I mean it! That's great to hear that they're already making out and EVERYTHING IS FINE! [Bro what have you dooone. Is Jane starting to look for an escape, as clumsy as it is going to be? Hell yes.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Christ, calm your tits! [He won't deny he's amused as hell, and he can tell she's about to attempt to abscond, so he steps in front of her.] C'mon now, tell Bro your problems. I've been told I give good advice, y'know. Especially advice of this nature. So come on. Spill.

[healium]

Wh -- no, it's okay! I mean it, really! [dkgdjfjkhklfsdjlkfdhjlksfdkjlgdfkdjfjk He's too tall and she can't just youth roll through his legs atm, she's too uncoordinated for this no no no no nonononono aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH] I mean they obviously like each other and I want them to be happy anyway so it's great!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He can definitely tell that she wants to abscond, and he's prepared to block her should she try.] Yeah, it is obvious. But you know what else is starting to become obvious, too? You like one of'em, too. So. Which of the booties d'you wanna touch? Is it mini me? I wouldn't blame you, I had a damn fine ass at that age.